Chapter 88 - 85....reality...

This old man, what was he trying to do?

Is it not enough that because of the rumours of the Qins becoming your in-laws, your business is at its peak? Do you still want to dupe the QIN's money with that shoddy plan?

CLINK LINK CLINK

Her attention went towards the source of her disturbance...

'Ah~ Xun Luli? You are the person who is in the rumours, right? I really, really planned on ignoring you, you know? Why the hell are you attracting my attention? I know since there are rumours, Xuanxuan must have allowed them to come out. I know that it must be something that was needed to be done to gain something, but you see, even though I know it's not true... I just can't handle my mental health. I'm very prone to anger issues, I can always control every emotion, but Xuanxuan is not an emotion, he is my life!! I know I should calm down, but you father and daughter, I don't like where this situation is going-- WHY THE HELL DID YOU LOOK AT HIM? YOU ARE NOT WORTHY!! GET YOUR EYES OFF OF HIM!!!', Meilin who had lost it to that beast inside, unconsciously gripped the knife on the table.....

IF SHE DIED, EVERY ONE OF HER REASON OF ANXIETY WILL DIE WITH HER...

This was the real Meilin, this mentally unstable girl with vicious urges, she knew she was not good enough for a man like Xuanxuan who is supposed to stay in the light.

It had been like this since that incident 12 years ago, she knew that she had lost a part of her because of that incident, maybe it was her heart, maybe it was her emotions or maybe, it was her humanity, she knew that she was broken, broken beyond repair....

It was only during her time with ZiXuan that she felt like a proper human being.

In the recent years, she had become someone who can feel emotions for other people outside from her Xuanxuan, but maybe calling them emotions wouldn't be fair to the other party involved, her world was distinguished into 'her people' and 'others', with Xuanauan being at the centre of her people.....

Sometimes, she actually wanted to be more of a human too, that way she can act according to her emotions, but the her who had probably lost many of it couldn't be normal ever again. The scar that the incident had left was too big to hide. She wasn't happy with how things were right now, but she had learnt to accept it all slowly.

That day when she had annihilated that underworld organisation, she didn't feel remorse, she didn't feel guilty of killing someone's family, she just felt cold to the deepest of her bones, she didn't think she did anything wrong, anyone who hurt her or her loved ones didn't deserve to live, it was a matter of fact.

She actually felt a little thrilled, she had become stronger, even though she was dirty she could protect her family, her people and her Xuanxuan now.

She had a team that had helped her with the aftermath and also the success of the mission, she was being reckless because of the demon inside her that was let loose, she had injured herself, it was not only the blood of others that she was bathed in, she had lost a tremendous amount of it too, maybe the reason she felt cold was because of that but she had no rationale to speak of about then.....she was a bit tired, the moment she came out of that underground tunnel, which happened to be a hideout of the organisation, she had collapsed, she fell into a coma for more than a month.

She had a knife wound that ran deep on her back, two broken ribs and 1 wound from a bullet shot.

It was a miracle how she had still fought with that many people in her condition and hadn't twitched from the pain, a normal human would have fainted from the sheer pain and agony, but she had made sure to complete her mission before collapsing because of blood loss which was physiological.

The doctor had said that it might take her months just to wake up and years to recover fully, but all it took was 1 month to wake up and another for her rehabilitation therapy, after that she was too bored and irritable that the doctor let her out.... though she was not at the top of her condition, it was just a matter of time, she wanted to go back to her Xuanxuan now, she couldn't wait anymore, she had waited for too long for this, too long.

But something had changed by the time she had woken up.

She became even more reticent, even colder, it was as if, she had lost her soul, it was as if she was forcing herself to believe in something..... the man closest to her had noticed and so, he had decided to come with her, but he was not enough to give her a sense of reality, he was not enough to give her a sense of belonging and comfort.....

'I want to see Xuanxuan! I want to see him!', she chanted this like they were sutras from some holy scripture, it was herself forcing her to believe that this was reality, as long as she could see Xuanxuan, everything would go back to normal.

It all started when she was in the coma.... she saw something...

It was vague and it was very different from her earlier dreams, in those dreams from earlier everything was very fantastical, but this felt surreal, as if, it was an alternate reality.... or maybe that was a reality that she wasn't a part of.