Chapter 52

Xie Ning thought: he had been waiting for this sentence for a long time.

Over the years, it is not that no one has told him that homosexuality is not a disease. China has already passed the same-sex marriage law.

However, from the mouth of the psychologist, in the end, has a different significance.

It is like an authoritative person who solemnly removes his shackles and declares that he is not guilty.

Xie Ning thought that his heart should have some fluctuation, at this time of clinker, listening to the ear, but did not set off any big waves.

Other people's heart lake waves, throw a stone down, rippling open a circle of ripples.

From then on, his huge stone disappeared on the surface of the ice, but no sound was heard from the ice.

So schenen just blinked, not even a smile.

His mood is too light and light, even joy is separated by a thick layer of ice.

Only one person is different.

In front of Zhuang Yan, those ice blocks will gradually melt away, as if from winter to spring, from black and white painting to color painting, showing his rich and colorful inner world.

If his emotion turns into countless threads, then master Xie and Yan Xi are tied to one end, and the rest is wrapped around Zhuang Yan.

"Thank you." Xie Ning said to Ji Wenbin, "thank you for letting me hear that."

If he could take a sip of the glass, he would find the water in the glass wobbling and his shaking hands.

It's not that he doesn't have feelings and emotions, he just forgets himself.

Ji Wenbin flashed several thoughts in his mind, and finally gave him a thoughtful smile: "if you have any unpleasant experiences and feelings, you can tell me."

Xie Ning drooped his eyes and thought for a while, then slowly opened his mouth.

……

Xie Ning seldom thinks about things before he is an adult. Most of them are unpleasant experiences.

Once in a while, what impressed me most was the idea that homosexuality was mental illness, and the hysteria of Xia and WAN.

Those counselors will always ask him a lot of questions, dig out his past thoroughly, and look for his abnormality from a little bit of clues.

They would look at him with pity, and that kind of compassion made Schering's hair stand on end.

It seems to be saying: Although you have mental illness, it doesn't matter. It can be cured. You need to be obedient.

As long as you listen.

Xia Wan sometimes cried and hugged him, his voice mourning: "it's OK, Ning Ning, you'll get better. You listen to your mother's words, don't like men, and your mother will make you normal."

Her face is really like a mother, sad and determined in the face of a terminally ill child.

Xie Ning will occasionally be in a trance, she said that the normal person, in the end, is corresponding to homosexuality or neuropathy.

Or in the eyes of Xia and WAN, there is no difference.

At first, he would express his views with Xia Wan: "homosexuality is just a kind of sexual orientation..."

In return, Xia Wan's hysterical anger: "why my son will be a homosexual! Why are you such a person? "

Why am I such a person?

Xie Ning was silent later.

Homosexuality is a mental illness.

It can be treated.

It can be corrected.

Chenin asked himself, is he really wrong?

Why do those counselors come to the same conclusion as Xia Wan?

Is he really mentally ill?

When he woke up from his dream at night and looked at the moonlight, he asked himself again and again?

Am I sick?

Am I sick?

Am I sick?

He was confused and confused.

Why does everyone say he's sick.

He was always proud of having such a son.

When did Xia Wan look at her eyes, from Pride and concern to hate iron but not steel.

He is What was wrong.

Xia Wan took him to see several psychological counselors, took various drugs, used various correction methods and treatment programs.

But the effect is very little.

Once he came out from the counselor with Xia Wan, he suddenly burst into tears: "Ning Ning, mom is so miserable, why can't you get better? Why can't you change it? "

Xie Ning stood at the door without expression.

He looked at the mourning of Xia Wan, but his heart was as calm as the stagnant water.

He can't feel the slightest affection and sadness in the people who are connected by blood.

His world seems to be covered up by the vast snow, the eye is a desolate white.

There is no vitality and no interest.Later, he was more and more silent, and less and less communication with the outside world.

Xia Wan cried again, crying and said: "Ning Ning, you listen to your mother's words, your mother will cure you."

Xie Ning quietly looked at her face, a sense of fatigue from the deepest pan up, swept to the whole body.

He didn't say anything, he just put the hook on his lips ironically.

Heart way: I really became a neuropathy.

……

The weather outside is not very good.

There was a little sun when I went out in the morning. By this time, the strong wind mixed with heavy rain made people's clothes wet.

When Xie Ning pushed open the glass door, he was caught off guard and bent by the sudden wind.

He was supported by someone nearby and said "be careful.".

Xie Ning nodded to him and whispered a thank you.

He didn't have an umbrella, so he hesitated.

He came to see the psychologist without telling Zhuang Yan, so he didn't let the driver drive.

I didn't have a driver's license test. I didn't think there was anything before. Now I found it really inconvenient.

When I got to the gate of the hospital, my clothes were all wet. I should take a hot bath when I went back.

But it's also very likely to catch a cold.

He pursed his lips.

There are too many taxi people at the gate.

Xie Ning slowly found a bus stop, but today's wind is too strong, the station sign can not play a role in the slightest shade, the slanting wind mixed with rain, he wiped his face, only to find that it was full of water stains.

There are seats for people to rest at the bus stop. Although there are many people at the moment, the seats are empty and they are already wet through.

After waiting for a long time, Xie Ning finally got a few taxis, but they didn't get them.

Finally, the waiting for someone to walk almost, next to a pregnant woman with a big belly.

When the last taxi stopped, Xie Ning's action slowed down a little and didn't mean to rob the pregnant woman.

The pregnant woman got on the car, pulled down the window again, and asked him, "where are you going, young man? If you're on the way, you can join us."

Xie Ning was stunned.

The pregnant woman said, "it's hard to wait for a taxi at the moment. It took a long time to get one. You see you are all wet. Let's make do with it."

Unfortunately, the lakeside villa and the pregnant woman's home are just two directions, that is, the pregnant woman is willing to, and the driver is not willing to run across most of the city in the storm.

"It's OK. I'll wait a little longer."

There are fewer and fewer people around.

The sound of the wind and rain was still very loud, and Xie Ning's confused mind set off. He waited for a long time, and before waiting for the next taxi, he simply sat down in the cold seat.

The pants are wet through anyway.

The rain curtain tilted down.

Xie Ning stupidly looked at the water droplets in series, and his brain gradually became blank from chaos.

If the person trapped here is not Xie Ning, he may be able to draw down the scene in the rain and enjoy the romance of a lonely journey between heaven and earth.

He grinned bitterly, watching a group of people crossing the road with umbrellas in the distance, the busy streets, and the car tires splashing through the small puddles on the ground.

He looked for a long time, and his body began to shake with cold. When he touched the mobile phone in his pants pocket, he was stunned.

The cell phone is shaking.

It suddenly occurred to him that he could call the driver to pick him up.

He pursed his lips.

Today is really I have no idea what I'm thinking.

The mobile phone was shaking all the time. He took it out and found that it was Zhuang Yan.

Just as he was about to pick it up, his hand slipped because he was covered with water. The mobile phone fell on the ground, rolled again, and finally fell into a small puddle.

Xie Ning took two steps to pick up the phone.

Today's luck continues to be poor.

The screen of the mobile phone fell apart.

But at least it's still on the phone.

Xie Ning has just connected Zhuang Yan's phone, but he hasn't heard any sound yet, but the screen of the mobile phone is suddenly black.

I don't know if it's the water.

Xie Ning

Looking at the dark screen of his mobile phone, a grievance suddenly rose in his heart.

He bit his lip to think: even the mobile phone will bully him.

Now Xie Ning didn't know what to do.

There was rain sliding down his forehead, which was held up by his upturned eyelashes for a while, and then fell from his eyes in the blink of an eye, as if he were crying.

After a while, I can't see anything clearly.

He sat at the station for a long time,

after a long time, a black car stopped in front of him.

He felt that this model was a little familiar, and he couldn't help looking at it more.

The more you look at it, the more familiar you are

Someone came down from the car with an umbrella.This guy looks familiar.

Xie Ning wiped his eyes, trying to wipe the rain above, so that the man can see clearly.

Just for a moment, the man came up to him with an umbrella.

Xie Ning blinked and his eyes were wet again.

That person's body shape is very familiar, the voice is also very familiar: "how? Don't recognize me? "

Hearing the sound, Xie Ning's nose suddenly became sour.

"Did you cry?" He asked, his voice a little panicked, "don't cry, I'm not here to take you home."

Xie Ning looked up. When he saw the angular face, he suddenly burst into his arms: "Zhuang Yan."

Zhuang Yan hugged him, and his voice sounded above him: "well, I'm coming."

Most of Zhuang Yan's clothes were dry, except for some water on the shoulder and the corner of his trousers.

Xie Ning is not a person who loves to cry. Now she is held in her dry and warm chest, but she begins to shed tears.

It is as if he finally found the embrace that can let him rely on and be at ease. He can vent all his grievances and pains unscrupulously and recklessly.

He wants to say: I am so miserable.

Uneasy, sad, aggrieved, miserable.

The pain that no one can tell, no one can understand.

Small to just broken that mobile phone, big to these years of silence to the resistance.

His memory is very good, the dust laden memory gradually turned out, like a worn-out yellowish photo, with a little gray on it.

So the grievances that he had forgotten swept over.

When Ji Wenbin explained the past in front of him, he was still quiet and calm, with a bit of indifference, as if those things had already passed and could not affect his present mood.

But when he bumps into Zhuang Yanhuai, all his feelings are fresh again.

He couldn't help crying freely.

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