Chapter 95 - 2.56

"Qiqi, good morning." Zenith's voice was rough and raspy, since they had been going at it for several hours before their bodies caved in for rest. He had an anxious smile plastered on his face.

'You have gotten used to calling that name, hm? You called my name so much last night.. It's a good thing that there are no one that could intrude on us in my quarters. Make sure to not slip up in front of others later on, remember?" Xu Jiaqi let out a gentle sigh as she rubbed Zenith's face, squishing his cheeks with a tender gaze.

"...Zen, who are you?" Xu Jiaqi asked.

Zenith looked confused. It was obvious. He had no idea what she was talking about because he wasn't aware of himself yet. He was incomplete. Just like her.

It was a hypothesis that stemmed from her own set of experiences. She knew that something was wrong with her state. That she needed to retrieve something, from somewhere that she was not able to enter right now. It made her feel frustrated.

There was not a feeling that was as haunting as when Xu Jiaqi felt like there was a massive hole in her mind, body, and soul. She felt like she didn't belong to her alone.

But after Xu Jiaqi joined bodies with Zenith for the entire night, she could confirm at least one thing. This being called Zenith Ahgren was able to fill the incompleteness that resided inside her heart just by a slight amount. She felt content.

That was enough for her to desire the man to stay by her side. She wanted him to stay out of her own volition. Zenith made her feel good, both physically and spiritually. There was no reason for her to release the man out of her grip. She felt like if there was a romance quest that popped up, involving Zenith, she wouldn't be as angry.

Her mind was jumbled up, perhaps partly because of their aggressive bed exercises. Zenith started off gentle, and made Xu Jiaqi lower her guard, but as they further descended into the night and became consumed by lust, Zenith morphed into a beast. Her body was in pain although her powers began to soothe the soreness right away. She wasn't used to strenuous exercises.

With Ariel's physique, it was all thanks to the blessing that she managed to survive the long night.

However, the man was still mindful of her condition and knew when to stop. It wasn't like Xu Jiaqi didn't enjoy the rally, so she just took small sessions of recovery in between before continuing until her body  finally gave out.

A night full of passion was initiated between them out of nowhere. None of them expected for it to happen, they just let themselves slowly ride the mood out, exploring each other sensually.

Zenith was still unresolved. This act of theirs only made him question their bond even more. "Qiqi, I love you." He abruptly confessed out of nowhere.

Getting the words out of his heart was extremely hard. But after he said it, he felt relieved, as if a heavy burden had finally been removed from his chest.

He wanted to confirm their state. He wanted to make sure that he wasn't misunderstanding. The woman in front of him gave herself to her. Only, he didn't know if she truly belonged to him. She was a free spirit, undeniably. Her actions and choices proved that multiple times.

She was an otherworldly person. Zenith had never met someone who could even come close to her.

To him, she was her perfect match. But what about Xu Jiaqi? What did she think?

Instead of answering, Xu Jiaqi laughed out loud. She started with small giggles, then descended into a neverending burst of laughter.

"Zen.. You are cute. How.. amusingly cute." Xu Jiaqi patted his head, a pleasant smile fixed on her face. "I don't know a thing called love. I don't think that I will ever love someone.. In this life, or in my future lifetimes, too. After all.. If I can't even be satisfied with myself, if I can't be content with my own state, how could I learn to love others? I'm not someone who is suited to do such a thing. I am not worthy of loving.. just like nobody is worthy of being loved by me. Not even the greatest being."

The words flowed out of her mouth. It was a combination of her own values, and the vague ideals that existed inside her mind. The ideals that.. came from the abyss that made her feel incomplete.

She was confused with herself. She didn't have time to offer her heart to somebody else.

Zenith looked visibly disappointed. A trace of madness flashed through his eyes as he looked at Xu Jiaqi. "Qiqi, is it really impossible...?"

"Hold on. I didn't say that I won't be together with you. Although I can't love you like another person would, I am fond of you. I don't mind spending a lifetime with you. My principles are very different from others. You should've known this right from the start. I am not going to ask you to.. understand my perspective. More like, it would be miles better if you just stopped loving me. It would be much more.. tolerable for both you and me." Xu Jiaqi ran her fingers through the man's hair.

The touch was soothing and calming to Zenith, whose emotions started to stabilize and recede. "I love you, Qiqi." Zenith kept repeating the phrase. Spouting words of love towards the woman.

It made Xu Jiaqi quite troubled, but the man was just like that.

He was willing to jump into hell just for the woman, why wouldn't he be able to cope with Xu Jiaqi's condition? At the very least, he would make sure that he was the closest person to her.

He would be satisfied with just that. He didn't hope for much.. He knew that the odds were against him in the first place, so getting this kind of outcome was already a satisfactory ending for him.