C57

"Damn it, this daddy is the Normal level cadre who was put on record in pars histalis. I have worked for more than 20 years, and now I have fallen to this mountain valley to work so hard …" Old Xing sometimes grumbled a little.

"Then who do you blame? If you want to compete for a position and compete in public, you can only blame yourself for not being able to win …" Old Li said to Old Xing.

During the day, under the cold winds, over the mountains, over the topography, familiarizing ourselves with the landscape, moving rocks, repairing roads, digging ditches with the villagers, preparing the early stage for electricity and water treatment, in the evening, we would listen to old Xing talk about the newspaper's twenty years of development and the newspaper's complex network of relationships.

Every day, when I finished writing my poverty diary on the stone platform in front of my door, I would sit alone on the big rock in front of my door, watching the setting sun in the distance, watching the continuous mountain range under the setting sun, watching the deep valleys in the mountains, watching the clear streams in the valleys, quietly thinking of the past, thinking of that heart-wrenching yet unforgettable past …

I thought of Liu Yue. I thought of Liu Yue, who was pushed to the brink of mental destruction due to many hardships. I thought of every moment I spent with her.

I thought of Qing Er, of Qing Er, who never left me and never abandoned me for seven years. I thought of the beautiful times we had spent together, of her gentleness and gentleness toward me. I thought of the tears in her eyes as she looked at me.

Every time I thought about all these, a myriad of emotions would fill my heart, and my heart would fill with guilt towards Liu Yue and her.

I am sorry for two women, one of whom I love and one of whom I love; one of whom has abandoned me and one of whom has been abandoned by me; one of whom is the eternal pain in my heart and the other the indelible mark in my mind.

I know, I have already lost Liu Yue forever. She must have walked together with the Corydalis.

I am deeply saddened and blamed myself for hurting Liu Yue because of my ignorance. I sincerely wish that Liu Yue and the Corydalis would reap the benefits of such sweetness and happiness. I know that the Corydalis will bring happiness to Liu Yue.

I know, no matter what Qing Er did wrong, no matter what she did to me, it doesn't matter anymore. I have already forgiven her in my heart, no matter what, she was my lover for seven years, my closest lover, my companion for graduation from high school to university.

On the contrary, my heart was constantly filled with guilt and shame towards Qing Er. I know that I have deeply hurt Qing Er's pure and kind heart. She loves me so much, but I am so cruel and cold …

Every evening, I would blame myself in my memories of the setting sun. I would deeply reflect on my own ugly heart, mercilessly expose my own ugly past, and face the deepest depths of my own soul …

As the days passed, I forged my body and soul in the depths of the mountains. I never thought of the wonderful and empty world outside.

I did not send a letter to the outside, nor did I receive a letter from the outside. I was tormenting my will, tempering my muscles and bones in the mountains, which were almost isolated from the rest of the world.

Occasionally, when I went down the mountain to report back to the office or to take a change of clothes, I would not contact anyone.

More and more I wanted to close myself, to push aside all rest and holidays, to seal my soul and body in the mountains.

I don't have any news on Liu Yue and Qing Er. I wonder how they are doing, and how they are doing?

Every day I looked out at the mountains in the sunset and thought of them, the two most important women of my life, and wondered if they were happy now, if they were happy, if they would think of me again.

So I lived alone, lonely and busy in the mountains.

Time passed quickly. In the blink of an eye, a year had passed and yet another harsh winter had arrived.

The winter in the mountains was especially cold.

With the help of our newspaper, our poverty alleviation team and the villagers, the Shihu Village got the electricity and used the running water. The road from the village to the foot of the mountain was also widened.

"According to the instructions of the Party committee of newspaper, next year, our task is to repair the irrigation canals in the village, and to turn all the land in the village into water to guide the villagers in the development of the fruit industry. At the same time, we will cover the mountain roads with asphalt and turn them into asphalt roads …" Old Xing blew the horn again for us to enter the new campaign.

In the past year, we have shared food, food, and labour with the people of the Shihu Village. We have formed a deep friendship with each other, and I have already fallen deeply in love with this land and this mountain.

That afternoon, in the light of the winter sunset, I smoked a cigarette and sat on the big rock at the village entrance to write a poverty diary. Old Xing went down the mountain to buy supplies.

"Xiao Jiang, there's a letter for you!" Old Xing held the envelope out to me.

For a year, no one had ever sent me a letter to the mountains. Who knew I was here?

I took the envelope and looked at the handwriting. It was actually Ol 'Three.

This guy, how did he get my address?

I opened the envelope and read Ol 'Three's letter.

"Jiang Feng, damn you, you're still alive, aren't you?"

The greeting from Ol 'Three warmed my heart and made me feel like I was back in my dorm room in college.

"If you don't write to laozi and hide in the mountains, do you think you won't be found? I have a lot of ways to do it, but you f * cking wrote that poor diary every day. Do you think you can't find out … "Let me tell you, you've been hiding for a year already. If you can hide, you won't be able to hide for more than fifteen years. Sooner or later, you'll still come out. I don't believe that your son will be able to hide in the mountains for the rest of his life …"

The tone of Ol 'Three was aggressive, but it was open-minded and full of brotherhood.

"The last time you were hospitalized, it was Sister Lan who told me and Qing Er. As for how Sister Lan found out, you should understand, it was naturally your old woman who told Sister Lan … That old woman of yours knew about the matter between you and Qing Er, it wasn't done by Qing Er at all. Think about it, is Qing Er the kind of person you are? I'm telling you, I was the one who told Sister Lan, Sister Lan told your old lady, so you should less blame this on Qing Er … "

So that's how it was. I suddenly realized what was going on as the guilt in my heart towards Qing Er grew even stronger.

"I don't understand why you like that old woman. I know you are very fond of that old woman, which part of her is comparable to Qing Er? Besides, she's already on another level and doesn't even like you anymore. You should have your own emotional life … "Brother, remember, you are still young. There is no need for you to be as loyal as jade for this old woman who has a new life. You can't extricate yourself for the sake of this so-called dogshit love affair …"

I was speechless.

But what Qing Er likes is you. No matter how much you abandon her, hurt her, or avoid her, no matter how much time has passed, she will always love you in her heart. I'll tell you this, as long as Qing Er is willing, I will take care of her for the rest of her life, whether she's dead or alive, unlike you who have no f * cking conscience. Of course, if Qing Er likes someone else, I will leave by myself.

Number three, you're a fucking man.

It's been a year, and I want to see what you look like. Oh right, I have to tell you in advance, your father is preparing to propose to Qing Er right now, if everything goes well, when you go down the mountain, you can just happen to have a drink of your father's engagement wine … "