Chapter 180 - Be Truthful Lexi

4 February, Hospital in City T

Lexi walked into Anna's hospital suite. Seeing Lexi, Anna said "Yi darling, take Rosemary out for an hour or so. I want to spend a little time with Lexi, before she must go home. And before you say anything my sister, you have barely left me since you arrived. You need some food, or I will tell my brother that you were…"

"Stop threatening me with my husband Anna. You need help."

"Rosemary, I love you but…"

"You want time with someone else, and you are sick of your husband hovering, I get that."

"Rosemary, do not blame me," said Hou Yi towards the woman Lexi had not met, while mockingly throwing his in the air.

"Yi, get used to it."

Hou Yi shook his head and moved over and gave Anna a kiss. Lexi heard him say "I get it. We will give you an hour as not long after that the doctors are due."

Anna quietly responded, "Thank you, my love."

Without a couple of minutes Lexi was alone with Anna in the room. "Lexi take a seat. I have to apologise for my sister-in-law. She is a qualified midwife and had always planned to be for a couple of weeks before my due date. The day she arrived I went into labour, and you know what happened. Now she is being overprotective. I can understand that, but she needs to realise that I need a little space as well."

"Family can be the worst."

"True. You know Lexi, despite everything that has happened to me and my family in the last few days Lexi, I am your friend. I have not pushed you too much to date, but I can see that you are conflicted about something. Yesterday I noticed that on one hand you wanted to kill your husband but on the other hand there was something else…"

"Damn Anna, you are too perceptive."

"True. I figured you understood I had picked up on your conflict hence I started to play the games I wanted to with your husband. He has messed your life up so much in the last few weeks, in a way you do not want. When Yi and I got married I had literally crashed into him. We each had our reasons for our marriage but those reasons in the end were not there for each other. It turns out we were made for each other." Anna paused and looked directly at Lexi and said, "You need to tell someone what the issue is Lexi."

"Anna …"

"No getting out of it my friend or I will turn all my legal skills on you to get to the truth. That you will not like. Hiding from it only makes things worse. I hid from the truth of my relationship with me ex for years, and that is still messing with me even now."

Lexi looked at Anna and noticed how serious her face was, and crumbled. Here was someone going through unimaginable grief due to the loss of a child but wanting her to talk about her worries. "Anna, if I need help, I will get help professionally, you need to focus on you, not me."

"Lexi, you do not realise what your friendship over the last few weeks has meant. You have listened to all my whinging and whining without a care. It is not a one-way street, despite me having treated it as such to date..."

"You were pregnant. I remember what that was like and I only had one child, and I remember the aftermath of giving birth. I was an emotional mess. You have all the reasons to be worse than I ever was..."

"Lexi, Yi and I have had a couple of long talks. There are moments that I just want the pain to end, but I remember I have a child and I must keep going for him. It is unfair if I focus on my despair, rather than my joy. I need to have my friends, and if I ignore what they are feeling at this time, I will only drive them away. That means, I need give to them. Being here for you is what I can do for you."

Lexi paused and looked at Anna. The thoughtfulness at this terrible time for her was amazing, and tears started to fall from Lexi's eyes.

Anna, having spotted the tears responded "Lexi, I am sorry ..."

Shaking her head Lexi responded quietly, "Anna, just hearing that makes me realise whatever happens, I have friends around me that will be there."

"Now, tell me what is bothering you?"

Taking a couple of deep breaths, Lexi said "I know you have listened to my rantings about how Matthew and I came to be married. Yes, I agreed to things when I was seventeen, but I never thought about the long-term consequences, but ..."

"You still have feelings for him?"

"What! You have to be joking," came Lexi's quick, sharp denial.

"Lexi, I can tell when people are lying to me. Do not forget, I am a trained lawyer and reading people is something I have to be good at."

"No, No..."

"Lexi, I could see the confusion in you yesterday, you still have that look. And I know your husband saw that at one stage as well. In the end, what happens will be your choice, as much as my situation was my choice."

"But he wants to take it away from me."

"Lexi, can you promise me two things?"

"Depends on what they are?"

"Firstly, I want you to look inside yourself and think about what you want deep inside, do not let your past colour your future. Dismissing something because of circ.u.mstances could be the worst thing you do for your happiness. If I had dismissed crashing into Yi, despite the loss of Aaron, I would not be as happy as I am now. Just give yourself the time and opportunity to do so."

"Are you kidding?"

"No. Due to my past relationsh.i.p.s a friend of Yi's who is a trained psychologist spent time working with me to deal with my issues. One of the early things she told me was not to let the past dictate the future as it could mean you miss out on things that end up being the most important things for you. At the time I was dismissive, but I know she is right. The past cannot and should not dictate the future."

"But Matthew is using the past for that purpose."

Shaking her head, Anna said "Look Lexi, my advice is not from a trained psychologist. Would you agree with me that your present would have been different if you had not married your late first husband and married Matthew when you were younger?"

Lexi knew that Anna had her there; her present would have been completely different if she had married Matthew years ago. "I have to concede that Anna."

"Then, why not take the chance to see what you could have had years ago. What do you have to lose?"

"My self-respect, my own peace of mind, hurting my son, I could go on."

"Fine, can we agree to disagree on that point?"

"Absolutely. What was the second thing you wanted?"

"It is linked to the first, and you avoided answering that. However, this comes with a promise. Give your marriage a chance, and if it does not work out, I will do what I can to help you to achieve a legally binding outcome."

Lexi paused. Other than John, who hinted if after time her marriage was a failure, Andrew, Chester, Phillip and all their friends has said she should simply accept what had happened. Anna was offering help to deal with the legalities. Could it be worth taking the risk? Could she risk her heart again?

Looking at Anna, Lexi knew that she only had her best interests at heart. The promise to help meant so much but she knew she had to think about things so quietly in reply Lexi said, "Can I wait and give you an answer."

After observing Lexi, Anna realise she would get no other answer so responded "As long as you think about things. But I have something else I want to ask. When we eventually have little Jang Christened will you be one of his godparents?"

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