Chapter 193 - Keeping Calm

KJ returned to the mansion that night very late. It was almost midnight and he was stressed by the overwhelming workload he had to take care of. Other than his additional duties as the new member of the Board of Directors at both Mystic Entertainment and Hann Constructions along with the grueling schedules of his solo activities, he was stumped.

He groggily barged into his room and was about to just fall on the bed to sleep when Mirae came out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel around her body. Startled, she let out a small shriek.

KJ, turned around, feeling embarrassed. "I'm sorry!" he said profusely. "I...I…"

"It's alright," Mirae assured him. She, too, was red in the face. Thinking that KJ would be late, she took a quick shower and unknowingly came out of the bathroom like that. 

KJ heard her quickly shuffling around to pick up her clothes and heading back into the bathroom. He dared not to look around but he suddenly felt his body getting heated up. 

Get a grip! He scolded himself. 

Mirae came out of the bathroom again, wearing a loose woollen t-shirt and pajamas. Her face was flushed from the heat of the warm shower and her hair was still wet, with water dripping from it. At that moment she looked breathtakingly irresistible. KJ had to fight down the urge to lean in for a kiss but he had to restrain himself with great difficulty. It was still too early for him to act upon his feelings. Plus, Mirae knew how to throw a mean punch.

"Umm...did you have your dinner?" he asked, trying to diffuse the tension.

"Yes," she replied. "Sejong made me some spaghetti. There's some for you as well in the fridge but I think all the servants have gone to sleep. I'll go downstairs and heat it for you."

"That's okay, I'll do it myself."

"No, I'll do it!" Mirae insisted. "You're tired. Besides, I hardly get to do any work around here. I can do that much at least. You go and freshen up."

Before KJ could open his mouth to protest, she darted outside. He sighed. It was no use trying to protest against her. He picked some clothes from the closet and headed towards the bathroom for a shower. 

By the time he came out, Mirae had already arrived with a tray of warm spaghetti. She put it on the desk near the bed. 

"You look very tired," she noted. "Are you alright?"

"Just trying to finish the pending work," KJ replied as he dug into his food. "The month-long coma left me with a lot of unfinished schedules. Plus, the merger with Hann Constructions. It's turning out to be tricky but we'll get through it by this week."

He took a bite out of the spaghetti. "You did well today," he said. "With the investor's meeting."

"That was nothing really," Mirae replied as she plopped on the chair next to his. "They were just being unrealistic. Debuting a new girl group with members who had very little experience. Plus, with the negativity around the company, the new girl group would have suffered. By giving an established group a comeback, we can at least take advantage of the already established fanbase."

"Yeah," KJ agreed. "Six X are immensely talented. I've worked with them for the past five years and they're amazing artists. I'm sure they'll do great."

Mirae smiled. She was worried that KJ would not agree with her decision but he seemed to be okay with it.

"And…" she started to say but stopped herself.

"And what?" KJ probed.

"What about your comeback?" she asked. "KJ you have not performed on stage ever since you came out of your coma. Don't you think you need to make new music again? After all, the fans are waiting for you. And I know you're dying to get back on stage."

KJ did not know how to reply to that. He wanted to perform on the stage too. But something in him was preventing him from doing so.

Even though he had many solo activities and albums, it was his first comeback after the disbandment of EXOTIC. Every time he had performed alone on the stage, he always had a comforting feeling that his members were watching him. They were there to support him just like he did whenever they performed their own solo songs.

But now...now they were not there. Despite the millions of fans he had, he would still look for their faces. Without them, he felt empty. He tried to write new songs but he just could not put his heart into it. The resulting songs sounded hollow and devoid of emotions. Without EXOTIC, what was he?

Mirae waited for him to answer. "I don't know," he admitted. "I can't write songs anymore. Without EXOTIC...I feel lost. Earlier, there was a consolation that my members were watching me. But I can't feel that anymore. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah…" Mirae said softly. "EXOTIC meant the world to you. But if you're going to think like that, then none of you will be able to move on. Why do you think Jinhyun really left? He knew that as long as EXOTIC kept on relying one each other, there would be no end to the pain that man left behind."

She refused to take Ash's name. The sadness she had once felt was now pure contempt and indifference. 

"I can't stop thinking about it," KJ said. "I can't stop thinking that my members won't be there to see my stage performance anymore…"

"Just because they aren't present there, doesn't mean that they're not with you," Mirae reasoned. "They're always with you. In your heart and your memories. If you give up like this, then it's an insult to EXOTIC. After all, you are the leader."

She lightly patted his head. KJ felt his face flush up as she smiled at him. He cleared his throat.

"I'm done," he announced, suddenly standing up. "I'll take these back to the kitchen."

Mirae watched him, confused, as he quickly picked up the tray and hurried downstairs. She shrugged it off and decided to go to read a book before going to bed.

Downstairs, KJ's heart was racing rapidly. He felt his heart pounding loudly against his chest and his body was heated up.

"Snap out of it Kwon Jiwon!" he scolded himself but his heart would not stop beating erratically. He decided to take a walk around the gardens to cool himself off. The cold air should do me some good, he thought.

But the night's cool air was of little help to his heated up body. The close proximity to Mirae and her gentle touch were too dangerous for his resolution. His leisurely pace turned to quick steps and soon, he was running around the gardens to calm down his 'little brother'. 

"You can do it!" He encouraged himself. "Fighting!"

Mirae, who was still up, caught a glimpse of him running around the garden in the middle of the night.

"Wonder if I'll get a lot of money if I sell pictures of his crazy antics on his fansites," she snickered as KJ ran around the garden like a madman.