Chapter 445

From the moment I remember, I knew I was different from other children. This different perception comes from the attitude of people around me. They are either compassionate or careful, or they deliberately show kindness in front of me.

All this makes me sensitive and disgusted.

I just want to be the same as other children, to be mischievous, to be scolded by my parents.

This kind of different, deliberately flattering treatment lasted until I was eight years old. I didn't know why I was treated differently.

That summer, I had a high fever for a week in a row, and I couldn't find out the cause. My parents were so anxious that they took me to the hospital every day. They went home to cool me down and go to the hospital

It was a rainy night. After the rainy night in summer, it was cool and the window was open. My parents thought I was asleep and whispered in the living room with the door open.

The mother sobbed in a very low voice and asked, "what do you think happened to the child? Since childhood, we have been afraid of accidents, and we have raised more money than other people. Is it true that we can't live more than 12 years as the man said

"Don't talk nonsense. It's just that the cold will be over in a few days." Father harshly scolded his mother, forbidding her to say any more unlucky words.

I listened quietly, trying to say something, but I lost my voice.

"I'm really worried that he's gone like his brother... We're just a child, you say..." mother's words didn't go on and were covered by crying.

I heard Dad smoking. After a while, he said, "no, absolutely not."

I lay in a cool room, the heat on my body went down a little, but I had a high fever and dizziness for days. Listening to my parents, my nose suddenly began to ache. In my heart, I said to myself, I will be better.

I have a brother. No one has said that. At that time, after hearing this, I was thinking of asking tomorrow.

In this way, moved and gradually become comfortable in the air, I slowly fell asleep.

In the middle of the night, I had a fever again. I just felt that my throat started to burn. Then my nose was hot and dry, and every breath I exhaled seemed to light up.

Cool towel on my forehead, I slowly wake up. It's just that I had a splitting headache and I couldn't open my eyes.

"Every day, you must get better. My mother doesn't believe that you are a disaster, nor does she believe that the twins are hard to support. You are you, and have nothing to do with your brother. You must get better... "My mother whispered in my ear, while cooling me with an ice towel.

I want to open my eyes and ask clearly, but at that time, my body was tired and weak, just like floating in the clouds. I didn't have the strength to open my eyes, so I was in a daze all night.

The next morning, I miraculously reduced my fever, and my mother wept with joy.

At that time, I wondered whether everything I heard last night was true or not? Is there something in the middle that I'm imagining?

Although I'm young, I've been sensitive since I was a child. I can't ask anything directly.

Later, I learned that I had a twin brother, who died when I was born. At that time, I was not expected by the doctor. Later, I put it in the incubator for a period of time and carried it tenaciously.

Therefore, we all think that when I was in my mother's womb, I competed with my brother for nutrition, resulting in my own survival. In other people's eyes, I am a natural selfish person, and a person with selfish gene.

Only my parents took me as a bag in the palm of their hand, and my grandparents were also light to me, because I was weak and had many disasters and diseases.

Every month I go to the hospital, sometimes I think, is it because my brother and I are fighting for nutrition that I am so weak and sick?

At that time, when I first heard the word retribution, I felt cold sweat all over.

As I grow up day by day, I also become more and more reluctant to meet and greet people. I always feel that there are some unspeakable anomalies in their eyes, just like I'm really a freak.

If it goes on like this, it becomes a vicious circle.

I hate contact with the outside world more and more. I only sit in my own place when I go to school every day. I go home after school and lock myself into the room when I enter.

I have my own world. Only when I am alone can I have a moment's peace of mind.

Really, I hate dealing with people.

In the end, I didn't say a word to my parents every week. Their every care, in my eyes, has become meaning.

Later, I couldn't go to school in high school.Touching people can make my body collapse.

After my parents took me to see all the best hospitals in DIDU, the doctor gave me a diagnosis - severe autism.

When they talk about my illness, they will avoid me. The more that happens, the more abnormal I feel. Later, I opened the window on the 23rd floor of the clinic and jumped down while they were discussing my illness.

Just as I stepped out on one leg, the psychiatrist's assistant pushed the door out, then jumped over and pulled me off the windowsill.

My parents ran out of the room in panic. When they saw me, there was a big surprise on every face.

We have never been to that psychological clinic again. When they took me to see a doctor, they chose the one with the lower floor, or even the one with the bungalow.

Before his death, my grandfather gave us the courtyard of his family. He said that it was my grandson at least. Take care of the child and leave it for the Liu family.

I have become a tool that can only be left behind.

In order to cure my autism, my parents asked for medical advice and took me to many hospitals at home and abroad. As long as they heard that they had cured my autism, they took me thousands of miles.

However, every time is fruitless.

I think maybe it's because I have a monster in my heart. I don't want to be in the crowd, I don't want to deal with people, I hate all the physical contact.

The most serious time, in addition to myself, other people touch me, I will seriously vomit, spit out bile, full of bitterness, I will feel better.

Later, a cousin, who came back from studying abroad, saw my situation and suggested to his parents that he should adapt to the normal life slowly and not be willing to contact people. At least he should treat him as a normal person.

My parents feel very embarrassed. They are not normal people. How can they treat me as normal people?

My cousin gave me an idea, let me choose what I want to do and what I want to do? For example, take me out to eat, participate in normal social activities, go to the park, go swimming, go to sports... To participate in some activities that don't need to talk to people or make physical contact with people.

My parents began to make unremitting attempts. With their deliberate efforts, I gradually dare to face the bright sunshine and walk in the crowd. But contact with people, there will be serious physiological reactions.

In the process of treating me, my parents found the good prescription of exercise. Only exercise can make my condition slightly relieved.

At that time, I was 1.83 meters tall and weighed 210 Jin. I was so fat that I didn't have any body shape.

By mistake, my parents reported me the most expensive physical center, where I met the first ray of sunshine in my life - Lin Leyi.

Her appearance is like a golden seed. I don't care to pry open the small black house that has been closed in my heart for more than ten years, and then the hard black shell peels off bit by bit. I will feel happy when I see her.

This may be fate, the first time I met her, she was a little unspoken to me.

Maybe she was in a bad mood that day. When she saw me following the people in the body center into the body classroom, she pointed at me and said, "don't go forward, you'll be there. It's a bigger place."

My parents were watching outside and wanted to rush in.

But I actually listened to her and stood nearest to the door.

She was serious, with a gentle smile on her face, but her expression was meticulous. That kind of smile only floats in the eyes, the corners of the mouth are tight, when the eyes look at people, they are so lightly swept, like feathers swept past.

When the normal class ended, she picked up a towel and wiped the sweat on her forehead, and said to me, "the new classmate Liu Tian, I'll give you a recipe later."

She just stopped me without warning, I actually stopped obediently.

After all the people left, she half bent over and wrote me recipes by hand on the small table against the wall. While writing, she said, "I've seen your course. It comes every three days. During these three days, you should control your diet properly. Remember to eat more vegetables and fruits. You can't eat less staple food. You'd better eat less coarse rice and fine flour to promote intestinal peristalsis, Clear your stomach first. "

When she said this, she didn't look at me, holding a pen in her hand and brushing on the paper.

Her hair was half curled, and was pinned in the back of her head to form a bun. Only a few wisps of disorderly hair hung down, leaving a few shallow and disordered shadows on her face, but taking advantage of her face's unusual roundness and beauty.

At this time, the setting sun shines through the glass window and projects on her face. The thin layer of fluff seems to glow, which makes me feel unable to look directly at her face. That kind of light almost blinds me. In front of her, like a goddess walking down from an oil painting, holy and beautiful, I can't breathe.At this moment, I suddenly felt my heart beat, thump thump chest pain.

When she finished, she looked up and gave me a smile.

That smile made me feel dazzled in front of me. I held the railing beside the wall for a while to stabilize my body.

"If you come here, you can have a class directly. If you don't have the warm-up in the early stage, you may not be able to stand it. Next time you come, just come on time. Our class is 105 minutes. Don't be late." She said with a gentle smile.

I took the paper she handed me, touched the electricity in my hand, and couldn't say a word, so I left the classroom with dazzling sunshine.

After going out, my parents saw that I blushed badly and asked anxiously, "is the intensity too strong to bear?"

I shook my head and got on the bus without saying a word. After getting on the bus, the first sentence was: "I want to change the course to come every day."

Parents are very surprised, this should be my first requirement after sensible