CH 88.1

Come Back Quickly (1)

Fang Li lowered his head and his tears silently fell continuously. Fu Songhua became more scared and most of his courage just now suddenly disappeared. “Fang Li, you think what I said is weird, don’t you? But I’m not crazy and definitely not a pervert.”

“I- I don’t…”

Fu Songhua clenched his teeth. “I just feel so uncomfortable holding it in. I will be suffocated to death if I don’t say it out loud. No, I will be suffocated to the point of exploding!”

Fang Li reached out to wipe his tears. “You… When did you start thinking like this?”

Fu Songhua was stunned and blankly mulled it over in his head. “J-Just recently.”

Fang Li looked up and gazed at him with complicated eyes. Just recently? So his preference was still girls, right?

“Fu Songhua, thank you.” He mustered up his courage and said with some difficulty, “But… but this is wrong. In the future, don’t say this type of thing anymore. I will take it as if I didn’t hear anything.”

Fu Songhua blankly stood there, the brightness in his eyes slowly dissipating. “Ah… This is wrong, ah.”

He was embarrassed and frustrated to see Fang Li’s head dropping and unwilling to look him in the eye anymore.

Yes, ah. Was he crazy?

He knew that Fang Li and Ruan Qingmu were good friends, yet he couldn’t control his hideous mind and randomly guessed at their relationship, becoming jealous.

In the past, when he and Fang Li were good friends, they had been so close, without any misunderstanding, and he was the one who had screwed everything up.

He didn’t know when his heart began to feel those hidden, different feelings, and his eyes would follow that slender figure whenever he was near.

When Fang Li laughed, his whole heart seemed to leap with joy. When Fang Li was alone and quiet, his whole being would be anxious and restless.

But this was wrong, ah.

Although Fang Li was gentle and well-behaved and would not reject him harshly and aggressively, that was only because he was kind.

What was the difference between himself blocking his door inexplicably and groping him like this and those who bullied him?

No matter how disgusting those people were, he was just as bad.

“Fang Li, I’m sorry.” He blankly looked at Fang Li’s house building door. “It’s cold. You should go back now.”

Fang Li slowly turned around and walked step by step toward the pitch-black gate building. When he reached the door, he turned around and waved his hand distantly at Fu Songhua. “… Goodbye.”

His voice had a nasal tone to it.

Fu Songhua stood still in a daze on the sidewalk, watching his figure disappear into the darkness.

Fang Li leaned sideways against the old wall behind him in the door building, sobbing silently.

After an unknown time, Fu Songhua finally turned around with his head lowered and walked toward the Song and Dance Troupe complex entrance. As he walked, he probably didn’t see the road clearly or didn’t look at all, so he stumbled and tripped over something.

He was so distracted that he fell to the ground. He didn’t get up but leaned against the tree trunk behind him and crouched silently, clutching his head…

The wind howled around him and the cold winter moon in the sky was mournful. He clutched his head, not knowing how long he crouched in the cold wind before he heard the sound of rushing footsteps darting toward him.

He had just lifted his head when Fang Li’s thin body lunged over.

In the cold wind, tears streamed down his face and with trembling hands, he mustered up the courage to grab Fu Songhua’s shoulders.

“Fu Songhua, look at me. Look at me and tell me – do you like girls or boys?” he asked word by word tremblingly.

Fu Songhua looked up and his reddened eyes had nothing to hide. He looked at the slim youth in front of him in bewilderment, slightly unable to comprehend his question.

Fang Li asked again with all his strength, crying, “I’m a boy, but I seem to like dressing up as a girl. I’m a freak like this. But what do you actually like?”

The cold wind blew and the tears that had just fallen seemed to dry up, with new ones pouring down. “You used to like girls for many years, didn’t you?”

He cried so hard that he was out of breath and vigorously shook Fu Songhua’s shoulder. “You like pretty and gentle girls, and there are many in the school… Please look clearly. I’m the same as you. I-I’m a boy!”

Fu Songhua’s shoulders moved several times as he shook them, finally getting some reaction.

He slowly stood up. Because he had been crouching for too long, his legs became slightly numb, and he stumbled.

Fang Li bit his lip, tears falling from his eyes, and hastily reached out to support him.

Fu Songhua moved his legs around a bit and finally stood steadily.

He stared at Fang Li’s face, red and swollen eyes, and desperate, pained expression, not saying a word. Only after a long time did he reach out his hand and gently cupped Fang Li’s face, awkwardly wiping the teardrops that seemed to flow endlessly.

“The one I like isn’t a boy or girl,” he answered earnestly, with immense solemnity as if completing one of the most important quiz questions in the final exam.

“The one I like is you.” The tall, athletic youth’s eyes no longer seemed frustrated and glowed little starlights in them. “If you’re a boy, then I like boys. If you’re a girl, then I like girls.”