CH 87.3

Confession (3)

Ruan Qingmu poked his head out, looked at the dark path within the complex, and frowned. “Why is it so dark? Forget about it. Let me send you in.”

Just as he pushed open the car door, a man suddenly leaped out from the shadows of the trees on the roadside. “No need for you to send!”

Ruan Qingmu almost kicked him in the face but luckily he reacted quickly. He could hardly believe his ears, “Fu Songhua?”

Fu Songhua stepped out of the dark shadows, his face cold and sour.

He looked at Ruan Qingmu, his thick eyebrows knitted together in a tangled and fierce manner, and reached out to pull Fang Li over. “No need to trouble you. I will send him inside.”

Ruan Qingmu looked at him fixedly, then at Fang Li’s stunned and happy eyes. “Fine. I’ll leave– You’re not allowed to scream at him, understand?”

Fu Songhua’s expression turned even uglier. “When did I scream at him? I only want to scream at you!”

Ruan Qingmu felt amused and didn’t bother to argue with him, so he reached out and nudged him before turning around and getting back into the cab. “If it’s not too much trouble, please go to the Aimin Alley next.”

The taxi drove off as quickly as it could. At the Song and Dance Troupe complex entrance, Fang Li and Fu Songhua stood face to face.

Over the years, the Song and Dance Troupe had declined and the gatekeeper’s office was no longer occupied. The lights on the path leading to the residential building were also broken and only one lamp was on a few dozen meters away, lazily emitting a yellowish glow.

Fang Li tilted his head, looked at Fu Songhua’s silent face, and asked softly, “How did you find this place?”

His heart was pounding and he tried to control himself, but his voice was still slightly shaky.

Fu Songhua whispered, “There’s only this one Song and Dance Troupe in the city. I found it after searching on Baidu.”

“Oh,” Fang Li drew circles on the ground with the tip of his foot. “Then… why did you come to look for me?”

Fu Songhua raised his chin at the path leading to the family residence. “To send you in.”

The two walked side by side toward the inside. Passing the street lamp, the light slightly illuminated Fu Songhua’s face and his straight nose was edged with a deep shadow of a somewhat rare melancholy.

“Fang Li… can I accompany you to your part-time job tomorrow?” he suddenly asked.

Fang Li’s heart pounded harder as he lowered his head. “There’s no need. I’ve made an appointment with Ruan-ge. Oh right… tomorrow is our last day.”

Fu Songhua’s tall figure left a long, thin shadow under the streetlight. “So, are you hanging out with him for the next two days?”

Fang Li glanced at him nervously, his heart tossing and turning. “We’re not hanging out… Ruan-ge said he needed money. I-I also wanted to make some money on the side.”

Looking at Fu Songhua’s furrowed brows, he hurried to add in a panic, “We won’t neglect our studies. Don’t worry.”

“We?” Fu Songhua stopped in his tracks, most of his body falling into the shadows when they rounded the corner of the path.

Fang Li was a little flustered, listening to his calm tone that was different from his usual boisterous tone. “…”

“If you need money, can’t you borrow it from me?”

Fang Li didn’t say anything. Only after a long while did he whisper, “I can’t always borrow it from people.”

Fu Songhua stood still before asking, “So, you will think of your Ruan-ge first if you have any difficulties. Someone like me will never be the first person you consider, right?”

Fang Li looked at him blankly, his voice slightly trembling. “No, it’s not that.”

“It is.” Fu Songhua fixed his gaze on him. “Whether it’s dancing or working, it’s always been like this. I must thicken my skin and move closer in order to participate in whatever.”

He paused and smiled to himself. “Oh, wrong. Look, I’ll still be rejected even if I go up this time.”

Fang Li looked at him in a daze, his heart beating like a drum.

“Ruan-ge is my best friend. You know it. He’s so good.” He stammered, unaware that his eyes were rapidly getting red. “You’re different…”

“Yes. In your heart, I’m not the same as him!” Fu Songhua suddenly raised his voice, sounding hoarse. “Thank you for reminding me!”

The hurt expression on his sunny and handsome face was so obvious. “I thought that if I did more, you would think I was no less than him one day. I thought that you would finally understand that he and the class president were the ones meant together and give up. But you simply can’t see it, can you?!”

“Fu Songhua…” Fang Li only felt all the blood rushing to his cheeks and his heart was a mess. “You should go back. I will also return home.”

He suddenly turned around and sprinted toward his house entrance, his voice drifting from afar. “I will rush to finish the homework. I guarantee that I won’t delay my studies and won’t keep thinking of making money…”

Before he finished his words, Fu Songhua suddenly took a long stride behind him and hurriedly chased him with a few steps, catching up with him in the blink of an eye.

The tall boy hugged him from behind at once.

***

His arms were strong through the thick winter clothes and his chest was pressed against Fang Li’s back, his heart beating with a “thud.”

“You’re not allowed to go.” His voice was hoarse and his breath was hot on Fang Li’s ear. “I don’t want you to have a good relationship with Ruan Qingmu. I don’t want to see him sending you home.”

After a pause, he added in a low voice, “Dr. Gong also can’t either. I want to hit whoever is sending you home.”

Fang Li’s body was as rigid as a stone. The winter wind blowing against his cheek was cold, but his heart was burning hot as if something had burst out of its shell or the truth was slowly unfolding in front of him.

He didn’t dare to touch that truth.

“Fu Songhua…..you – do you know what you’re talking about?” he asked in a shaky voice, his thin body trembling.

“I know. I have wanted to say these words ever since long ago.” Fu Songhua suddenly turned his body toward him with force and looked at him with a gaze that burned brightly, anxious but brave. “Fang Li, I also have a good relationship with the class monitor. However, I don’t want to go and return from classes with him, don’t want to be intimate with him, and don’t want to dance and do homework with him.”

Fang Li listened in a daze as if he were a statue.

Under the dim streetlight, his delicate lips turned pale and his amber eyes glistened with tears.

“I only want to do all these things with you. You’re not the same as everyone else.” The tall, sunny youth clumsily reached out, wiping away Fang Li’s suddenly falling tears, and was frustrated and scared. “I only want to tell you these things. When I’m done, I will leave. Don’t cry, ah. Also, don’t be afraid!”