Volume 1 - CH 2.1

2nd Period: Becky the Female Teacher – teachers are really the worst!

“…I’m Kinoshita Ringo.”

That was the name of the goddess who came down from the heavens to this school.

“Kinoshita-san transferred from a school in Tokyo due to family circumstances. She will be everyone’s classmate starting today. And her major will be cultivation. Yaay. Fireworks. Boom boom–☆.”

Becky gives this happy introduction but nobody is listening.

The girl in front of me looked as if her soul was leaving her body through her still open mouth as she continued to just stare.

So… She was too pretty to just be a high school girl. She was cute, beautiful, ephemeral, and divine. She was indeed an idol sent by God.

“This is dangerous…”, “Is she a model?”, “She isn’t an entertainer right?”, “She reminds me of Yuka Kusakabe somehow….”, “…Yeah but so expressionless.”

The whole class is whispering. Everyone can tell the girl in front of them is special in this school, and they don’t even try to hide their shock.

She’s wearing glasses to disguise herself but that girl is definitely Yuka-tan. For some reason an idol who had retired had transferred to an agricultural high school in the boonies. During this earth shaking event I’ve been laying here in only a pair of pants for some reason.

“U..um…”

One of the students timidly raises their hand.

“Kinoshita-san, by any chance are you a celebrity or anything…?”

In response to this questions, the avatar of God who descended from the heavens shook her beautiful head and replied, “…Not really.”

Huh? Is that all she’s going to say? I mean… that isn’t really an answer at all…

“Do you have any thoughts about Gifu compared to Tokyo?”

“…Not really.”

“Was there a reason you transfer to an agricultural high school?”

“…Not really.”

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

“…Not really.”

“Can you tell me your three sizes?”

“…Not really.”

The class went silent at this point. Even though the students were at a loss for words, Becky had a smile and said, “Well then everyone, I hope you can all get along with Kinoshita-san.”

…how?

*****

“So what’s actually going on?”

It’s already lunchtime. The three of us sat in a circle in the hallway eating and discussing whether or not the transfer student was actually Yuka-tan.

“According to the stories of the students throughout the school, it seems like no matter what they asked her she just answers, ‘…Not really’. In the end they ended up being ignored. Kosaku, what’s your opinion?”

“It’s Yuka-tan. There no mistaking it. You can tell by her scent.”

“Her scent?! You’ve only seen her on TV, how can you tell what she smells like?”

“Shut up! You would know if you were a big fan. I can smell her with my heart’s nose!”

Shut up Toshiro! But still, is the real Yuka-tan transferring to another school? Is this a continuation of the dream I had yesterday? On top of that I’m in the same class as her through some fate. I can feel destiny. Uhehehehe…. Something is comeing out.

“Calm down.”

“Mmmfff”

Kei hit me in the gut and I regained my sanity.

“Opps. Got to be careful, that was close. I was almost overflowing with …. Various things.”

“It’s hard to clean up, so don’t overflow anything too weird.”

Kei looks at me condescendingly. O boy.

“If its’ the real Yuka Kusakabe, why did she transfer to this school at this time? I don’t think it was to film a movie or anything. What do you think Minori?”

“…..”

“Minori?”

“Bwuh? …Uh what was that? Sorry, just leave me alone.”

“Are you ok? You look pale.”

“Do you have a headache?”, we both ask.

“Daijyobu, ‘good jobu’! Yay!” (TL Note: This was a weird Japanese-English rhyming pun)

Minori winked and stuck out her tongue from the corner of her mouth while putting up the peace sign in both hands. She looks like a parakeet that regurgitated its food. It’s so stupid. I want to hit her. A lot.

“…Anyways… What worries me about the transfer student is her attitude. Why is she so flippant? Even if she was an idol, couldn’t she try to get along better?”

“Aren’t you just misjudging her? Isn’t she just nervous from transferring schools?”

“Transferring schools…”

Kei put his hand on his slender chin and thought for a bit.

“Cultivation. Shinkoshi Gakuen in Tokyo, which Yuka Kusakabe attended, was a normal school wasn’t it?”

“Yeah. It even has a course in traits.”

“A course in traits?”

What’s that? Minori tilted her head.

Hah… That proves she’s just a country girl…

“Traits is a course that celebrities take in school. The school has strict rules but the students in this course are allowed to have brown hair. Otherwise it’s like a normal class.”

“Kosaku… how do you even know that? Sorry, that was a dumb questions.”

I turn away from Minori who was awestruck by my vast knowledge.

“Hey Kei. What have you been worrying about?”

“No..nothing. It’s no big deal”, said Kei after shaking his head lightly and standing up.

“That’s fine. If you can’t figure it out, just find someone who knows the answer.”

“But Yuka… I mean Kinoshita-san doesn’t seem to be able to tell me, who should I ask?”

“Ask Sensei.”

I have a bad feeling…

*****

“I was thinking it was about time….”

A single female teacher who was about 40 years old greeted us in the staff room. She set aside her half-eaten cup of yakisoba to talk to us. She has an unusually serious expression.

“Sorry to interrupt your lunch.”

“It’s ok Kamatori-kun, Sensei also has something she wants to talk to you about anyways.”

Becky-sensei reaches down and messes with her skirt around her leg in and fussy way. She’s putting out an adult aura as she also crosses her arms over her chest and beacons us with her right index finger.

“So then? What do you want to ask me boy?”

Did she just call Kei ‘boy’?

“Sensei”, Kei asks while pretending not to notice the bits of seaweed on her teeth. “I will get straight to the point. Is the transfer student Kusakabe Yuka or not? Please tell me this.”

“Well well well… It seems like you’ve noticed…”A sad smile spreads across Becky’s face. “The answer…”

“The answer is…” everyone says while leaning in to hear.

“YES AND NO”

Which is it?

“She may or may not be Yuka Kusakabe. That’s all Sensei can say right now.”

“You mean you aren’t going to tell us?”

Kei’s eyes narrow.

“I didn’t say that.” Becky licks her blue glossed lips as if to provoke us. “But hey, we’ve been more serious about protecting personal information lately right?”

“Oh, so that’s what you mean.”

While loosening the tie of my uniform I say, “If Sensei has that kind of attitude… then I have an idea too.”

“Hey, Hata-kun. What are you doing?”

“I’m going to ask a question… Sensei’s body.”

“Don’t do it Hata-kun! You can’t do this!”

“Hehehe, your upper mouth is closed, but what about this mouth?”

“Iyaaaaaa!!”

“Yes yes. Are you ready? Oh so you’re a saint? …No, you’re a sinner!” (TL Note: This was a pun because the same words are used for clergyman and reproductive woman. It doesn’t make sense in English so this is the best I could do)

“Ooo… I don’t know what you are talking about…”

“Oh? Do you deny it? You’re exposing such a shameful appearance!”

“Stooop! Don’t make it any more intense! I’m going to leak all of the transfer student’s information to Hata-kun! Unnn! Stop! It’s so biiiiig!”

“Hehehe… Let me help you out!”

“Ummmm! Ooof! Huaaahh! I’ll talk! I’ll taaaalk! Becky is going to leak the information in the staff room! I’ll be disqualified. I’ll be disqualified as a teacher! Becky’s teaching license will definitely be revoked! Ahhh! Oh oh oh! Forgive me! Your words are soooo gooood!”

“Alright. Then give me my reward!”

“STOP YOUR DELUSIONS!”

I shouted with all I had.

“Becky sensei?! What kind of fantasies are you suddenly spouting?”

I was hot so I loosened my tie, then Becky took the initiative and laid down on the deck and started taking off her cloths and moaning. Of course I panicked and stopped it, but like a locomotive can’t just suddenly stop, neither can Becky’s delusions. It was a delusion that made her say “Stooop” and “Uhnnnn”.

“It feels so gooood. Stop it, stop it. It’s so good. It’s driving me craaazy!”

“You’re already crazy enough!”

STOP. YOUR. DELUSIONS.

Delusions not only ruin your life, they also annoy the people around you. More like they just ruin the whole surrounding area.

What the heck is this… The other teachers around are stunned too. Why is the Gifu prefecture tax payer’s money going towards paying such a pervert…?

“Please settle down Sensei! You’re even looking at me with bedroom eyes!”

“I DON’T CARE!”

Well I do care dammit!

“OK ok. I hear ya.”

Becky got her disheveled cloths and her mind back in order, then cleaned up the room.

“She… Ringo Kinoshita, was definitely active in the entertainment industry under the name Yuka Kusakabe.”

We suddenly got back on topic. I mean is it really ok to confirm that?

“But now she’s abandoned that name and came to this school as a student. So does that mean she’s not Yuka Kusakabe anymore?”

“I see. So in short…” Kei touches his glasses and says, “Now that she’s retired from the entertainment industry she wants to leave the past behind her…?”

“…But why did she pick this school to transfer to when she doesn’t have any connection to it? Even Sensei doesn’t know why.”

Becky gently evades answering Kei’s question.

“But when I look at that girl now… Sensei thinks she may have gotten into some sort of trouble.”