Chapter 230 - I did not tell Karan anything.

|Eshan|

A look of disbelief flashed across Innaya's face as she chuckled bitterly. I could understand her. It was I who was hurting her the most with my words and aloofness. Had I tried harder, we would not have ended in such a predicament. 

"I know it is not easy, but it's not that difficult either." I moved the napkin to the other side of her face. Her eyes did not leave mine for a bit while she stared at me seriously.

"I'm stupid. I admit it. However, you can't fault me for my feelings. The same way, I can't fault you for yours. Both of us did something, which could have been avoided." I sighed. " I know after what I put you through, you might not want to trust me again." I looked away, pulling my hand back from her face.

Deep down, I always felt that this incident was going to leave a huge gap in our relationship. And, it worried me to think about what she would choose. The moment I came to know the truth behind this vicious scheme, and what they have done to her, I wanted to rush to her. Holding her in my arms, I yearned to erase all hurt from her heart. 

What if she left me? The whole incident was too much to bear for her fragile self. She had recovered from her childhood trauma with the help of grandpa, and then I placed her through another one.

"Are you saying that you don't want to trust me again?" She asked, trying to take her hand back. My heart dropped, she again misunderstood my words. The guilt of disappointing her and grandpa resurfaced in my mind again. I held onto her hand, refusing to let go.

"No. I meant what I said. There is no different or alternative or hidden meaning to it. I would always trust you..." I earnestly confessed. 

Innaya shook her head, sadness reflected in her eyes. "You did not. You thought I was influenced by Karan. You thought I was hiding things because of him… You thought I-"

I regretted uttering any word. She was misunderstanding me again. But, then the anger returned with what she said. 

Karan.

He had everything to do with how things went wrong between us. I focussed on the woman sitting before me rather than letting my thoughts go to him. If I let my mind think about him, I knew I would lose control over my emotions. I did not want that. Not when I could see what losing control did to Innaya. 

In the morning I had lost control, and that had resulted in hurting her.

"Shh… Don't get upset." I stood up and rubbed her back, pulling her to my waist. I did not want her to sink back in panic. Innaya did not struggle, but I could sense the unwillingness from her. 

"It's not how you are thinking it to be. Try and put yourself in my shoes and then tell me, was I wrong?" For once and all, we should get done with this topic. Stretching it like rubber, again and again, over and over- was only creating misunderstanding and causing us pain. 

"We don't have any issues between us, we're happy in our worlds. Then I go on a business trip, and bam- nothing is same. My wife hides things from me. My wife lies to me. My wife is missing for one whole day, and when we finally get in contact, she lies to me again. For one whole month, I try to find what went wrong. Tell me, what was I supposed to do?" I asked helplessly, rubbing her hair. 

The feeling of running my fingers through those dark, long tresses calmed down my troubled heart for a moment. Getting things off of my chest was a little rewarding as I could feel the burden on my soul easing bit by bit.

"You won't tell me what happened.- These were Karan's words. And, he was right. You didn't tell me." I sighed sadly. 

How much I wanted to prove Karan wrong. I thought there was nothing Innaya would share with others and would not tell me. In the end, things turned out differently. Innaya refused to admit anything, siding with Karan.

Perhaps it was jealousy, or it might be a disappointment. These emotions kept building up for a long time before I lost it today. Being bitter, sarcastic, or hurt her was not what I wanted, but I ultimately did that.

Innaya stiffened in my arms. She pushed at my chest. Reluctantly, I allowed her to. I had said my piece. I should give her a chance.

"When did Karan tell you that?" Innaya asked.

"The day it happened."

Innaya gasped. 

"I could not stomach the fact that you would believe him, and share your worries with him, keeping me in dark." I looked away, taking a step back.

Innaya held onto my wrist, stopping me effectively. "I did not tell Karan anything."

"What?" My eyes went wide. "You did not tell him anything? Then why? Oh my! He lied to me. He played with me... Damn."

I ran my hands through my hair, pacing in the space between the bathtub and Innaya. "How could I fall for his provocations? Just how could? 

"Eshan," Innaya called my name. Her voice pulled me out of my ranting.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I kneeled before her, holding onto her arms. "I did not want to believe his words. I did not, but then when-" you did not explain, I started believing him. The rest of the words died on my lips. 

I should not be telling her.

"Eshan, what did he tell you?" Innaya cupped my face. She made me face her as she leaned down a bit.

"I don't care what he told you, but I can swear on anything that I did not share anything with him. He knows nothing... You hear me?"