Chapter 229 - Let's just stop hurting each other...

|Eshan|

Mom turned around, and left the room while wiping her tears. I had never seen her cry. Growing up, I had never seen my mother losing control of her emotions. Handling the business with dad, she had always maintained her image of a tough, firm, and decisive businesswoman. 

It was only after Priyu was born that she chose to stay at home for us. Even then, she had always been a strong woman in my memory. Looking at her being emotional for Innaya, I did not know what to feel anymore. In the end, things started with her. Had she chosen a different way of dealing with the situation, we would not have been in this predicament.

"Is this how you have looked after her?" Dad asked angrily.

Withdrawing my gaze from the door, I lowered my head in guilt. It was the first time he was at my place, and he witnessed Innaya in such a condition. He was bound to get mad.

"Help her lie down…" Dad said in a relatively calm tone when I failed to answer. Judging from his anger-filled eyes, it was unexpected from him to lower down his voice. "And get out of the room... Both of you."

His abrupt order bewildered me. At first, I assumed he was being considerate of Innaya's emotions, so he wanted to give me some time to take care of Innaya. However, his later words proved otherwise. 

I opened my mouth to disagree, but his one glare effectively cut down all my objections. 

Innaya whimpered in my chest. I tightened my arms around her. She was still struggling to breathe. She seemed to be still stuck in a haze, for she did not notice my presence. She still mumbled that it was her fault. With Arjun and dad present in the room, I could not continue holding her for longer. I turned around, shielding Innaya from their eyes as I rubbed her back, instructing her to breathe.

After a couple of tries, Innaya regained her breathing. She still heaved, but the foreshadowing clouds of the panic attack were dispelled. I could take a sigh of relief. With sleeves of my shirt, I wiped down her forehead where beads of sweat were glistening. 

Innaya's eyes were closed, but a couple of tears still leaked from her closed eyelids. After wiping her forehead, I tenderly cleaned the tears from her face. Innaya did not struggle but stayed quiet as if still reeling in the aftereffect.

Bending down a little, I picked her up.

So light. How much weight she had lost? 

Again, the wave of guilt hit me. We both suffered because of our own insecurities, and the deep-drawn plot of enemies. Things certainly would not have turned out this way, had my mother trusted me.

I blinked as Innaya unconsciously gripped the collar of my shirt in her small fist.

"Dad, she needs to freshen up. Please, wait outside for a while," I said with my back turned to them. Avoiding the broken pieces of glass, I had missed sweeping to the side in my haste, I entered the bathroom.

I knew Innaya would not prefer others seeing her in such a condition. She had taken time to open up, and share about her past with me. If she realized that my parents saw her this way, she would not know how to face them. It was best to take her away for the time being. 

***

|Innaya|

Well, it happened again.

I lost control over my emotions, and let my fear take control. I forgot what I said, and what I did. Sometimes, I wondered why I always ended up doing something completely opposite of what I wanted.

I heard Eshan's voice after I felt his presence. I could always sense him. It sounded weird, but it was the case. Subconsciously I moved closer to him when I felt my feet losing contact with the floor. 

Sound of the door closing had me open my wet eyes. Well, the task was a little tricky because my eyelashes seemed to have glued themselves to each other, making it hard for me to open them. Even after opening my eyes after a little struggle, it took me a while longer to look properly. 

The first thing to come in front of my eyes was Eshan's concerned eyes. Also, were they unshed tears I spotted in his eyes? Eshan blinked, and they were gone. Just like that.

"Are you okay?" he asked. 

Squinting my eyes, I brought up the back of my palm to rub my nose. It felt itchy and irritated. "How about I help you get to freshen up? Later we'll eat and then… talk."

I looked around. We were in the bathroom. Right. He said he would help me. Wait a moment, he had left, and I was on my own. I had covered quite a distance while talking with Fortune. How did Eshan carry me to the bathroom then?

Stressing my brain to think about what had happened, I bit my lower lip. The vase... Eshan... Arjun... Then it all came back to me. I shook my head. It was not how I wanted the conversation to go. Alas! There was no turning back now.

"Put me down. I'll manage," I said as I tried to think of a way to sort out the outcome of my action. Honestly, what I said must have bothered Eshan. I did not want to consider Arjun's feelings at the moment. Eshan's face ladened with guilt, his concerned eyes, and his choked speech, everything came back to me.

"No." Eshan shook his head. "You'll hurt yourself. Sit here, I'll help you." He carefully placed me down on the stool before the basin. I had no energy to protest. I just sat there, recalling what I had said in my muddled state.

Nothing was a lie. Everything came from my heart- honest, bitter truth. Somehow, I felt lonely again. The feeling was somewhere alike to one I had back then after my father had tried to kill me. 

"Here." Eshan brought a wet napkin to clean my face. I looked at the damp sleeves of his shirt. Oh! I ruined his shirt. I held his wrist when he brought the towel close to my face. 

Eshan's face fell. He looked at my fingers, they were curled around his wrist. I pulled my hand back. 

"I want to take a bath."

"No, you can't take the one. Your leg... it shouldn't be wet, and you can't put pressure on it."

Eshan crouched down before me on his toes. He reached out and took my hands in his. "I'm sorry." He wiped the right side of my face with a small wet napkin. His thumb of left palm stroked small circles on the back of my palm. 

"Let's just stop hurting each other."

I stayed silent, looking at his thumb. 

Was it that easy?