Chapter 224 - Have you ever been stung by a honeybee?

|Innaya|

I blinked my eyes. I did not want to cry. I looked away. The bathroom door was just in front of my eyes. I had to take some steps and I would be out of the atmosphere that was growing tense.

"Sweetheart! I shouldn't be behaving like this. I know. Look, I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you, but all I'm doing is the exact opposite," Eshan admitted in a low voice. 

It did not matter. He was repeatedly saying things that were hurting me. He admitted it himself that he was behaving rudely. In the past month, I had tried to keep my composure. I did not hurt him with my words. My silence was hurting him, I knew it. However, I had no other options. 

Eshan was not in that dilemma, yet he was being unkind to me.

"Sorry." He then sat down cross-legged on the ground. Pad of his thumb grazed across the inside of my wrist as he stared at the cast on my ankle while stroking my skin absentmindedly. His eyes sorrowful as he gazed at the swollen flesh of my leg. I followed his gaze, feeling a pang of heartache at the red swollen ankle.

I was angry at him, perhaps I was not. I was more hurt because of the cold shoulder he gave to me. The stance he chose to express his displeasure was bothering me the most. I would not lie, saying I could overlook it. I could not.

"Have you ever been stung by a honeybee?" I asked out of the blue.

Eshan's head snapped at me. The question was unexpected. For him, and for myself as well. 

Eshan looked puzzled. "Why do you ask?"

"Tell me." I pulled back my hands from his, placing them by my side. A flash of hurt crossed Eshan's features. 

"No." He shook his head.

"When you get stung by those honeybees, the venomous toxin is left behind in your skin, giving you pain. Your words, your attitude... it is worse than that. Your actions, your words, your aloofness… everything… everything is hurting me. It's like that toxin, which is slowly getting under my skin, giving me pain, bringing tears in my eyes, and making my heart hurt," I said. Bringing my right hand up, I placed it on my heart. "Here. It pains here. I really can't bear it, Eshan."

Eshan visibly flinched at that. His right hand which was resting in his thigh, clenched in a fist. It loosened up twice before curling in a fist again. He then smiled sardonically.

"Oh, I see. You know about the stinger. What happens to that bee after it stings you?" He raised his eyebrow. 

I had no answer to that question. I did not know. My grandma loved gardening. When I was twelve, I had once gotten bitten by the honeybee, so I knew about the pain and discomfort. The memory of that incident was blurry in my mind, so I remembered only the painful part. 

Eshan sighed. "It dies… painfully." 

I was taken aback at the knowledge. 'They die? Why? Are humans more poisonous than bees?' Well, the humans are actually more toxic, poisonous. One can find remedies, vaccines, medicines for other things, but not for the poison within humans which they hid deep within their heart and sometimes on their tongue. 

Ayesha's mother and Ayesha. Both women had a more poisonous tongue than any venom. The toxicity they had in their heart was unbearable. The words they had used were more vulgar than used in slums. In fact, those people might not be using them. The mother and daughter pair was a vicious one.

"You know why?" Eshan asked. It broke my reverie. I did not want to think about those women. They did not deserve another thought from me.

Eshan held my gaze. "They die of massive abdominal rupture. When a honeybee stings you, it cannot pull the barbed stinger back. It not only leaves behind stinger but part of its digestive tract and abdomen. Not only that but muscles and nerves as well… I'm no different than that bee. You know why?"

I bit my lip hard. I somewhere got the idea of what he was trying to say. The raw anguish swirling in his eyes brought a wave of discomfort to my heart, making me restless.

"Because for every word of mine that is hurting you. For every action of mine that is hurting you… a part of me dies. I know it's wrong. I should not be hurting you, but I can't help it." Eshan stood up from the ground. He wobbled a bit, maybe because the floor was cold, and sitting on it for so long made his legs numb. 

Taking a couple of steps back, he started pacing in the room. "You did not trust me. You chose to confide in someone else while bearing everything alone. Why?" He moved his hands through his hair, messing them. He was frustrated.

"Don't you know why?" I retorted. He was still stuck to Karan's point. I did not confide in anyone. Not even Karan. Despite how many threats Karan gave me, holding Eshan as bait, wishing I would share my problem with him, I had not shared anything with him.

Eshan's agitation was hurting me. The whole situation was hurting me.

"No… I don't know. I tried considering it from every perspective. I really did. But, I don't know why you would choose outsiders instead of me." He paused his marching. He abruptly spun on his feet before he towered over me. Even while towering over me by balancing his weight on the bed on both hands that were trapping me, he made sure to avoid my leg.

"Is that what you really feel, Eshan? Am I that kind of person in your eyes?" I asked him. His consideration was touching my heart, but his words had a totally opposite effect on me. They were tearing me from inside. Why did he doubt me?

"What kind of person am I? Fickle? Incompetent? Emotionally unstable? What?" He retorted with his question.

"Don't you return my questions with a question? Don't divert the topic. While we are at it, let's discuss." I did not back out. "Tell me what you think of me. Let it out for once and all."

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