Chapter 223 - Where was the end of it?

|Innaya|

'Love it or hate it, you're stuck with this mean person for life.'

Eshan said those words as if I wanted to leave him. Where did he get that idea from? I frowned. For the past one month, I was fighting with myself and the situation. I did everything so that I could not have to leave him. Why would he say something like this? 

Eshan did not give me any time to react. He bent down; his warm breath fanned my face as he suddenly came closer to me. His face stern, eyes darkened and lips stretched in a thin line. He appeared extremely serious. 

"You are stuck with me for a lifetime," he whispered looking in my eyes. I shivered, the gaze with which he looked at me made me unsettled… in both positive and negative ways.

My mind was hazy, and I was tired. I did not have time for his games, sarcastic remarks, or moodiness. 

Lowering my head, I found the flowery patterns of the bed sheet more interesting. I had changed the bedsheet this morning only. Eshan liked this bedsheet, and it made me start to adore it as well. The pink, white, green, and cream color bedsheet had rose print on it. I caressed the image of rose under my fingertips. 

Even a beautiful rose has thorns. They did not hinder the beauty of them, and instead provided protection. Eshan was like a rose in my life. I wanted to be thorn protecting him from difficulties. However, I forgot that though thorns do provide the protection, they would eventually get removed if someone wanted to reach the rose.

Today, I had seen with my eyes, how people also considered me a thorn in his life. What if they have gotten successful? Where had they gotten confidence from? Why would they photoshop my photos in that way? Was my life some sort of drama, or serial for them where they applied all their tricks?

I wanted answers, and I wanted peace.

Just one moment I wished we would sort out our problems, and next moment Eshan was pouring cold waters over me with his biting words. I had enough of it. 

"If you're angry then say it directly… on my face. Stop using your words like a sword. They cut, you know? Deep," I said. 

Pushing him aside, I turned myself on the edge and kept my uninjured foot on the ground. I was not handicapped. I did not need his help.

Eshan held my shoulder, stopping me. Hurt, I stubbornly refused to look at him. 

Out of sight! Out of mind!

I would practice this. Folding my lips, I chose to try and get to the bathroom. Inside there, I would have more privacy, and Eshan's biting words would not follow me. The doctor said not to put pressure on my injured ankle. Limping, and taking the support of the walls would not be any problem. Would it?

Leave it. I should just try it out. The effects of my action would be revealed in a moment anyway. If it hurts, I would just sit back.

"I'm sorry. I'll help you." Eshan sighed as he crouched down before me. 

"No." I shook my head. I did not want his help.

"Stop being stubborn."

"Stop being heartless," I snapped.

"Heartless? I am being heartless?" Eshan chuckled humourlessly before he sighed again. "Look, you need rest. Don't start an argument now."

I stared incredulously at him. What his words meant? I was starting the argument? Seriously?

He and Arjun, both were the same. It was entirely my fault in their eyes. I had resolved that I would patiently converse with him and sort out the matter. I thought we could go back to how we were, but Eshan seemed to have different plans. His actions, words were contradicting. 

"Do you mean to say, I'm starting the argument?" I asked him broken-heartedly. "Yeah, you and your friend both are the same. He also thinks I'm at fault, and you feel the same. I-I don't want to talk to you. I'm done… I don't want to talk to you." I bit my lip feeling the lump forming in my throat.

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|Eshan|

Could I bang my head somewhere? 

She got hurt again by my words. They were not pleasant, to begin with. I knew. Her fallen face only reconfirmed how stupid I was. 

"Innaya, I'm sorry. I don't think you're at fault." I sighed with regret.

"Liar." She shook her head as she looked away sharply. 

Damn. Why could I not keep control over my tongue? I was angry, but that did not mean I had to take it on her. I had no right to be bitter to her when she had just gone through something so terrible.

The words and accusations, my mother, and those two women had used for her were too horrible to even think about it. She was subjected to them without any fault of hers. Instead of comforting her, I was even adding up to her misery. 

No one could be more terrible than me. Definitely no one.

"I'm not lying," I earnestly confessed. How could she be at fault when it happened all because of me? Ayesha wanted me, so the whole drama had happened. Even in my dreams, I would have never thought that Ayesha could do something like this. The woman hid her claws well. 

Right now, Innaya was my priority, looking after her, explaining things to her, mattered the most at this time. Other things could wait. 

Taking hold of her palms, I squeezed her fingers until she looked at me. It took time. She kept her gaze averted, not sparing me any glance. The tears gathering in her eyes made me feel pathetic for putting her in this state.

"Tesoro," I called out the endearment I had not used in a long time.

Innaya looked at me with surprise. 

"I won't say a word now. Let me help you first," I said, admitting that I would keep my mouth shut. Who knows, getting irritated with me she might end up hurting herself. I could not take a chance.

"I don't think so. You've developed this new habit of hurting me with your words. You can continue if it gives you happiness. Don't care about me. I'm a goddess, right? Go on, continue your complaints, grievances. I'm all ears," she uttered brokenly.

My heart went out for the woman who looked helpless and clueless.

I had done it again. 

I had hurt her again.

This morning only I caused her so much pain by taking Karan's name. Now, again we were going in circles only. The circle of hurting each other and giving nothing but pain and guilt. Where was the end of it?