Chapter 220 - Yeah, and make your sister a widow.

|Innaya|

"I'm tired," Eshan said those words before he placed his head beside my right hand, and closed his eyes.

I stared incredulously at him. 

Did he just leave me hanging like that?

In my childhood, I would hide under the covers so that my mother and grandmother would not ask me questions about my nightmares. I would run away from them if they brought up the topic of the man who had made my life a living nightmare.

I hated confrontations, and I hated conversations.

Maybe, from that time, I had developed the habit of keeping things to myself. Talking to someone, describing my emotions, often felt like an enormous task from which I always ran away. Even with grandpa, there were many things I did not voice out in the fear of disgusting him with my scars. 

He never complained about my lack of conversation skills. He had been there for me in my happiness and sadness. He had been there with me when I was burdened with my past, and he had seen me struggle. Yet, he never pressurized me in speaking about it against my will. 

Perhaps, it had something to do with me always thinking about what others would feel because of my words. That man, who unfortunately was my father, had made sure to instill that fear in me. The consequences I had seen and suffered because of the words which were wrong in that man's eyes had been terrible.

I never understood where my fear came from actually. Thinking about me should have been my priority, but I never learned to do that. 

But, this time I had paid a heavy price for that lesson. 

The whole situation had drained me emotionally, and physically. 

In life, we have two choices. The first one is to recall past and cry over it, the past which only gives us pain. Being stuck in the endless cycle of how it could have been avoided, we miss onto the present and ruin our future. The second choice is to let the present wipe down the negative traces of the past which wants to engulf us, to live the present happily by moving on.

After considering how I have always gone for the first choice, I wanted to make the second one. For once I did not wish to think about the past. Besides, I certainly did not want to imagine the future. Making the most out of the present time, I wanted to live every moment of my life with Eshan.

I could explain my reasoning, and so could he.

It would have no end to it. 

Instead, we needed to have a proper conversation and end this agony. We already wasted a month because of this mess, why should we waste another month to figure out how to sort the mess. 

Looking at his tired face I could see how hard it had been on him. He did not have it easy. He suffered too. Lifting my hand I brought it to his head. How long it had been since I had touched his hair? Like this?

How long it had been since he stayed by my side? So close… without hurting me or himself.

I had missed this.

The soft strands of his midnight black hair, now ruffled instead of neatly set hairstyle felt quite rough under my fingertips.

They needed conditioning.

Had he been neglecting himself because of the distance between us?

'Eshan, were you troubled too?' I pressed my lips watching the dark shadows underneath his eyes. The light stubble on his face gave him a different look and hid his sharp jaw. Admiring his face after so long, in silence, without worrying about what would happen if he knew the truth… the feeling was rather of bliss.

The door was pushed open once for the third time, and Arjun entered with a paper bag in his hand. "Inn—"

"Shh…" I gestured Arjun to not make any noise, pointing my eyes to Eshan. Who knew if he was sleeping or just wanted to avoid conversation? In any case, I wanted him to stay just like that… by my side.

"Don't tell me he is sleeping?" Arjun came forward and bent before Eshan's face to confirm. He rolled his eyes.

I nodded affirmatively.

"Great, just great!" Arjun shook his head. "I didn't see him doing any manual labor. What he is tired of? Is he tired of paying hospital bills?" He raised his eyebrow.

I licked my dried lips with my tongue as I sighed. My fingers stroked Eshan's hair. Arjun had unexpected reactions and comments. I decided to not bother with him.

Arjun sat on my bed beside Eshan's head near my leg which was on the bed while other was propped up on the pillows. 

Arjun then raised his hand in the air as if he wanted to smack Eshan on his head. 

"Hey, no," I whisper yelled.

"You both are impossible." Arjun lowered his hand. Opening the paper bag he took out one box. "I brought snacks and drinks from the hospital canteen. It's hygienic. Have this sandwich before drinking the orange juice."

I knew I could not deny him. And, truthfully, I felt a little hungry too. As Ayesha was sitting on the dinning, I had not been able to stomach much food. And, later that scene happened. 

My stomach decided to grumble at the moment I took the wrapped sandwich from his hands.

"I knew it; this monkey did not feed you. See, you've lost so much weight. No wonder, your legs did not have the strength to hold you up," Arjun sighed dramatically. "I so want to strangle this stupid." He brought his hands around Eshan's neck, demonstrating how he wanted to strangle Eshan. 

"Yeah, and make your sister a widow."

My eyes went wide and the sandwich fell from my hand, listening to Eshan's voice.

"Are you mad? Don't you ever say that?" I snapped at him.