Chapter 182 - Make Love

|Innaya|

"Agreed, all this is new for you. I ain't any veteran. If you think a bit more, clothes never defined anyone's dignity. A person who is barely clothed could be much more dignified than the one covered in clothes of high wealth. It's just a matter of perspective. If you search a bit more, you'll find a lot of tribes where clothes aren't a necessity.

What happened upstairs, was an accident. Even if it wasn't, what of it? Sooner or later these worldly possessions are not going to exist in between us. Then what are you getting stressed over? Don't. Don't let it make you feel under-confident. Don't let it cast a barrier in between us. I need you by my side. If our relationship were to suffer because of the topic of intimacy, I promise I won't bring it up again—"

I placed my hands on his lips, cutting off what he was going to continue. Could he get anymore perfect?

The flaws lie within yourself. No one can force you to do anything unless you want to. If you gave in the demands of others and change yourself, then that's not you.

As Eshan said, what actually holds us back is no outside force but our insecurities and fears. We fear being judged. We fear being laughed at. We fear disappointing others. In truth, we fails to achieve almost a majority of things because of our own fears. Getting afraid of failing miserably we hesitate. That hesitation ruins it all.

Listening to Eshan, I understood it all. How could I let him continue when those words of his shot alike an arrow, and lodged straight at my heart. His ability to pinpoint exact reasons, and helping me to see the new perspectives was getting better and bolder day by day.

With my palm pressing against his lips, I continued to stare in those beautiful eyes. How could I feel those conflicting emotions at the same time?

Previously, I wanted to stay out of his sight for awhile unable to handle the result of my unclothed self. However, after listening to him, I wondered who was that wanting to avoid him?

His reasoning, his patience, and in the end his thoughtfulness was truly remarkable.

If I was not ready, then he said he was not going to bring that topic. If I said, I don't want s.e.x, then was he going to agree to that as well? Just how much he loved me?

His hand left my face, and I immediately felt the loss. But, soon I was relieved when he held my palm and removed it from his lips.

"Why am I making you cry? Are my words that awful?" He helplessly shook his head.

Tearfully, I nodded my head in negative.

'Your words aren't awful, I am.' I did not voice my thoughts though. Eshan would never let me criticize myself. He would prefer criticizing himself but he would never allow me. That was how my husband was.

"Sorry..." I did not know what to say. "I can not say, I overreacted. Because I did not. Being caught in such kind of situation for the first time, I felt loss at what to do. I did not know how I was supposed to handle the situation. So, I chose the safest path. Running and hiding away," I admitted.

"I'm not saying it's wrong. No. It's okay. All I'm saying is just don't drift away," Eshan replied almost instantly. His words carried a sense of loneliness. Was he reminded of those two months again?

"Eshan, you don't need to hold yourself back. We both love each other, I know we are going to... going to-". I repeated the same word again and again. I could not bring the word 's.e.x' on my lips. My courage was that much only.

I was going to try, that did not mean I could be bold and straight-forward overnight. Changes took time. Nothing happened instantly in real life.

"Make love," Eshan completed for me.

I absentmindedly nodded, then his words dawned on me, and I immediately dove in his embrace.

Well, where was the girl who wanted to be brave?

Eshan chuckled loudly. I could not help, but hide my face more. All the talks were good to hear, they made sense, but adapting them needed time.

Thankfully, Eshan did not push me.

"I know. We'll take it slow. One step at a time. I don't want to overwhelm you." He caressed my head.

For a while, we stood there in silence. I did not know what was he thinking, but my thoughts revolved around what he said.

"Hey, Fortune, buddy we'll play later."

I pulled back when I heard him talking to Fortune. Fortune had gotten closer to Eshan's legs, and was rubbing his head to his knee.

In everything I had forgotten to mention how I beat my cynophobia, and them why did he return so early? He had back to back meetings today. He had told me in the morning. That was why I had insisted that he should go.

"Didn't you have meetings? How come you return early?" I frowned as I asked him.

Eshan fingers rubbed the area between my eyebrows as he tried to remove those lines.

"I was missing you," he simply replied.

Stunned at his direct admission, I did not know if he was being truthful or joking. How could he leave his work, just because he missed me?

He could have called me or either received mine. I would never want his work to suffer because of me.

I pursued my lips, little unhappily asking him. "Why did you not pick up my calls?"

"You called?" There was surprise flashing on his face.

"Yes, many times. Where were you? I thought you're in a meeting when you didn't answer," I replied, narrowing my eyes.

"Oh! I did not know. I'll check my mobile later, I have left it upstairs." He seemed clueless about the matter, so I decided to stop asking.

"Why did you call though? Were you missing me as well?" He cheekily asked, once again throwing his arm around my shoulders and pulling me to his side.

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