Chapter 181 - If we are together, we'll survive.

|Innaya|

"Closing your eyes would not make your problems disappear. Just because you don't think about the lingering issues, would not make them get resolved on their own. What needed to face, had to be faced. There was no other shortcut or simple way. One needed to hold responsibility."

Grandpa had said that to me. It was really a wonder how I would remember his teachings and words at the apt timing. They really went well with the situation around me.

My husband still held me, as if he feared I would run away. It was his natural way of holding me, one that made me want to drop my defenses. 

Eshan's way of working with me, around me to make me comfortable had improved greatly over time. Now, he knew what to say and how. If he wanted to coax me, he did not need too many efforts. It would have scared me, but now it almost felt natural. 

His words of not looking at him were said with so much sadness. I would have given in if I had not noticed the mischief in his eyes early. What was it there for further investigation? I knew him too well. He was pulling my leg.

I tightly closed my eyes.

"I'm sorry. Tesoro, don't behave this way. I was thinking to give you more time. Thus, I waited patiently for a while."

My ears perked at the new piece of information. He wanted to give me time.

Half an hour? He called half an hour as giving time. Even if he gave me a week, that would not be enough. Where was his conscience? He thought half an hour was enough? God!

Hearing him I was about to go in an attacking mode. Because it sounded too ridiculous to my ears. I held back my tongue when I heard him say again. "But with Fortune being around you... I could not sit still." 

Did he feel worried because of Fortune? All my grievances were washed down under the rain of his care. I could not hold up my guards or complaints against this man. He was too precious to get angry with.

The mention of Fortune brought me back to the happy occasion in the afternoon. The one I so desperately wanted to share with him. I had overcome my cynophobia. Under normal circ.u.mstances, he would have gotten to know it the moment he arrived. Unfortunately, things never went as planned. 

Instead of me giving him a surprise, I suffered a huge shock. However, this helped to divert my attention. I struggled away from his hold.

"Are you angry now?" I heard him ask again.

This time, I could not keep my eyes closed. No matter what were my thoughts, I would not wish to hurt him ever. I detected a faint hurt in his voice. I did not want to hurt his feelings. He was not at fault at what happened inside the bedroom. The ever so gentleman he was, he did not make things awkward for me. Them what reason I had to make him feel guilty?

I opened my eyes slowly. The first thing I noticed was Eshan's dark eyes waiting impatiently for me to acknowledge him. There was a hint of concern in them.

"Are you angry at this husband?" Eshan brought his left hand to cup left side of my face. Almost instantly my body leaned instinctively in his warmth. No matter how much front I wanted to hold on, one look, one caress, one word from him was all it took for my defenses to crumble.

Just how much intertwined we were with each other? As if our souls knew what other one felt... This kind of telepathic connection that extended to our inner souls was too far fetched for my simple mind to believe. However, I could not help but believe it.

"No," I whispered.

"You can blame me, but I am not at fault. What happened was already out of my hands. At most, I could only leave to prevent any mishaps from happening."

Once again the shyness was surfacing with full force as he brought the topic of our bedroom. Why could he not ignore it as of never happened?

"I know you're thinking why I am bringing it up again." Eshan's fingers rubbed the corner of my eye. His fingers then moved to my eyebrow. I did not understand was it deliberate or he was absent-minded, but his fingers exerted a little pressure.

The pressure felt a little better, and I could not help but think to have my head massaged. How could I think about something like this out of the blue? Why did my thoughts have to wander elsewhere instead of focusing on the matter in hand?

"Tesoro, I'll say this again. We need to be talkative so that our relationship only progress instead of being riddled with misunderstandings. I would not be able to bear any more distance. I had once gone through the agony which was enough to kill me multiple times. I can't go through the same pain again. I know you had it worse. I beg of you to try, and not let any negativity drag you down." Eshan's eyes held the pain of our separation. It caused my heart to tremble, recalling all the nights and days spent without him.

"I understand what your past did to you. I know you have been trying your best to not let it affect you. Try a bit harder for us. You've me to seek strength from. You are not alone. This husband of yours doesn't fear any hardship. If we are together, we'll survive. This is just a matter of physical intimacy. What are you being shy about?" Eshan asked.

Something warm spread in my heart. Was this the feeling of security they spoke of? Was this the strength your lover gave to you? If yes, then I was fortunate to meet my match.