Chapter 609: What are you saying?

Katherine told him all about her nightmares. The running, seeing Chris, more running, Parker pushing her into a black hole, and the recent one this morning where her family and friends were killed before her, Damien getting killed in front of her.

It was painful to recall what she saw in her dream, but it felt suffocating not talking about it. The whole time, Damien was quiet as he let her speak, though she knew he felt sorry for her because she was suffering.

"You know they're just dreams, Katherine. Sometimes, they're figures of your fears haunting you in your sleep. Your friends are safe. Your family is safe, and I'm right here with you. Parker's locked away. Shadow is over," he told her.

"I know that. But I can't help it. I just sleep, and suddenly I see it. It's happening all over again."

"I know, baby… You should have told me about it. Why would you keep that from me?"

Katherine shook her head. "You're already busy enough. I can't always bother you, Damien. You have a life too. You have a company to run—a battle to win with your uncle. I just…" She sighed.

Damien brushed his hand on her cheek. He had indeed been swamped lately. Despite wanting to finish on time in the office, there were just a lot of things that he needed to attend to. "Nothing's more important than you."

She bit her lip, hugging his arm. He could sense that she was still worried about something, so he asked, "What are you thinking about?"

"Director Hughes wouldn't give out information regarding how many people they arrested that day. They got several assassins. But what about the others who weren't in Castle? They're still out there…"

He had thought about what she meant too, but he wasn't worried about that when the one in charge—Parker—was already caught. "You said your life in Shadow… You were all about following orders, right?" She nodded, and he squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. "What can they do if the man giving them orders isn't there? They're probably in hiding now."

A sigh came out of her. "You're probably right…"

Damien grabbed the blanket next to him and placed them over her, covering her arms so she wouldn't get cold. Katherine tried to close her eyes, but a few seconds later, she asked, "Aren't you going to ask me what I was doing out there?"

"What were you doing?"

"I was looking for answers...to the key."

Damien knew which key she was talking about, and although he didn't like that she was on a search for what the man whom she used to have feelings for left for her, he couldn't ask her to stop looking. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

She opened her eyes and shook her head, a small crease forming between her brows. "You don't seem surprised."

He adjusted the blanket on her and began stroking her arm as if he was trying to make her more comfortable. "Take a nap. I'll wake you up when Jeffrey comes back for your appointment."

***

The Open Upright MRI was definitely much better than the traditional one. Katherine sat on the chair, and they made her watch something on the screen while they did the procedure. There was still a head coil on her head like Jeffrey told her, but she no longer felt suffocated because nothing was in front of her. It probably took about half an hour or so for the exam to finish, and once she was done, she and Damien waited in Jeffrey's office while he consulted with the radiologist.

Katherine and Damien didn't wait that long. A few minutes later, Jeffrey entered his office and offered the two of them coffees, but both of them declined.

"How is it?" she asked. "Is there something wrong that you had to consult with another doctor?"

Jeffrey took off his white lab gown, hung it on a rack, pulled his sleeves to his elbows, and then opened Katherine's exam results on the screen. Damien and Katherine exchanged looks, and she clenched her hands together. No matter how much she thought she was strong, there was always something that would remind her that she wasn't invincible.

"Jeff," Damien called.

"Sorry, just wanted to have a final look at the scans." Jeffrey faced them and pulled the corners of his lips. "Your test result shows you're clear. I saw it at first glance, but I just wanted to be sure that's why I asked the radiologist in case I missed something. Dr. Hill said it's clear."

The couple looked at each other again, a small hint of a smile forming on Damien's face but slowly disappeared and was replaced with a confused expression. "Then, she's fine...right? The exam result, like you said, is clear. So, she's not…"

"What are you not saying, Jeff?" Katherine stared at him, trying to assess what he was hesitant to say.

"Katherine…" Jeffrey started. "Can you tell me when you experience your tremors?"

"I already told you. It usually just comes and goes."

"Try to think of the days when you've had them. Did you do something unusual before it happened?"

She swallowed, her heartbeat starting to race when she thought about the times she did have the tremors. Her eyes flickered from side to side as she recalled that they happened mostly when she wasn't doing anything active. She was fine during the times she went bounty hunting, exercising, sparring, practice shooting—anytime when she had to use her "skills", she was fine. But whenever she was idle, her tremors would come.

Damien placed a hand over hers, squeezing it as if he was urging her to stay something.

Katherine took a deep breath and said, "It usually happens when I'm not doing anything. Today was the first time it happened while I was...riding my motorcycle."

Jeffrey nodded. "Your vitals are fine. Blood is good. MRI is clear—"

"What are you saying, Jeffrey?"

"I'm saying that… This may be psychological."

She slightly leaned back, and a mocking soft chuckle escaped her lips. "Are you saying I'm going crazy?"

Jeffrey glanced at Damien and fiddled with the pen in his hand. "Damien told me you went through something traumatic last month."

"You think it has something to do with this?"

"Have you thought about seeing a psychologist?"

Katherine opened her mouth and then closed it again. She didn't want to be having this conversation here because she'd already planned to tell Damien when they got home. The sudden shift in the atmosphere was making her uncomfortable. "I am... I did."

Then she cast a glance at Damien. His expression remained unchanging, causing her brows to knit as she wondered why he didn't look surprised.

And as though he understood the look she was giving him, he admitted, "I already know you stopped going to the sessions."

"What?" She slightly leaned back, unsure of what to make out of this. She shouldn't be surprised, and yet she was. "Since when?"

"The therapist called me to check in on you the next day when you didn't show up for the appointment. I...also knew about you going hunting again."

A small gasp left her lips, her hands retracting from his hold. "H-How?" She was going to tell him but hearing all this...him knowing about her secret activity. There was only one explanation, and she didn't like the feeling that's clawing in her stomach. It was like being in Shadow. "You had me followed? What the hell, Damien?"