Chapter 608: Facing Your Fears

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There was no backing out on this. Katherine was wheeled towards the room where the MRI scan would be taken. She had already taken a sedative almost thirty minutes ago, but the moment she saw the huge machine, it was as if the sedative wasn't working. She wanted to get out of there fast. The ceiling of the machine where she would go into was too near for her. The thought of just having the walls around her closing in made her want to run out of the room.

Funny how she could sleep in a closet room in CRG's office, but she couldn't do it for an MRI. Well, obviously, the two weren't the same. At least that closet, she could still stand, she could sit up without hitting the ceiling. This massive machine...was not like that at all. She'd rather sleep in that tiny closet than be confined in the MRI machine for about an hour while staying still.

A large hand squeezed her shoulder, and she looked at Damien. She could see the worry in his eyes, and she hated that she was making it difficult for him. So she swallowed the huge lump in her throat and nodded, allowing the technician to guide her towards the patient table. She followed instructions despite the thundering in her chest.

Katherine was given headphones where a playlist of her choice was playing. It was to keep her relaxed and also mask the banging sound that the machine would make during the procedure.

Then came the worst part.

A bulky head coil was placed over her head, caging her in. She was trapped.

"Just relax. You're safe," said the Technician, in an attempt to calm her down. He gave her a special ball, which she was supposed to squeeze when she'd feel anxious.

She stopped herself from snapping and telling the man, 'How about I cuff your head in here for days, let you scream until you lose your voice—until you pass out and wake up still trapped?'

It was very specific. Yes. Just like what happened to her in the past during one of Shadow's torturous training.

Katherine didn't think she'd ever recover from that because even years later, when she had to take an MRI exam, she was still traumatized and couldn't go through it. Although she could not remember—rather, she refused to remember every single detail of that training; she could still feel the same fear.

Soon, the table beneath her moved her backward. She nearly squeezed the ball right away, but she stopped herself. Despite her fear, she really wanted to get through this.

Jeffrey's familiar voice sounded in her ear, "Katherine, we're going to start, okay? Can you stay still?"

After taking a deep breath, Katherine answered, "Yes."

However, right after she said that, the ceiling above her began to morph into something she dreaded to see. What's more, the cage around her head already made her feel like it was closing in on her. It was so hard to breathe.

Katherine's chest heaved up and down, her breathing became heavy, and her hands began to tremble.

Suddenly, she was back inside that coffin.

One of Shadow's sick training was that they would be trapped inside a coffin for hours. The very first time that happened, she wasn't even aware that there was a test like that. She went to bed the night before, and when she woke up, she was already trapped inside. She screamed, clawed, and tried to punch what was in front of her, but she only ended up breaking her hand. Parker's voice came through the speakers somewhere inside the box, telling her that it was an exam. He was a monster.

Katherine begged for it to be over, but her cries were useless. She'd fallen asleep, and when she woke up, it was the same nightmare again—trapped inside with nowhere to go. How cruel was that man? She couldn't even find the best word to describe. Parker said that this was important—that facing your fears makes you stronger. That wasn't "facing your fears" at all. That was him "forcing the fear" on her and traumatizing her.

When she thought that it would only happen once, it happened once again a couple of weeks later. And then again. And then again. You'd think she'd get better at it, but no, she didn't. She had the same reaction every time. A few times were even worse—when she woke up but couldn't move at all. It was as if she was paralyzed.

"Katherine? I need you to stay still…" Jeffrey's voice came to her head again, and she snapped out of her memory.

However, she was still feeling agitated, flashes of images from that terrible memory still haunting her.

"Damien…" she muttered, her voice loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. "Damien…" she breathed.

In the next second, a warm hand covered her. His hand. She thought he was saying something, but she couldn't hear because of the headphones, so she looked down and saw him. "I'm right here, baby. What's wrong?" said his lips.

"I can't… I... can't do this," Katherine managed to say, gripping both his hand and the special ball so tightly.

Damien turned his head towards the glass window where Jeffrey was. He signaled him to stop, and just like that, the technician pressed something on the panel, and she was moved out of the machine.

As soon as the head coil and the headphones were removed from her head, she climbed out of the table and into Damien's arms.

"Why are you crying? Are you that scared?" He cupped her cheeks and tilted her head up so he could see her face and he was shocked. "Shit. You're so pale." He wiped the tears from her cheeks—she didn't even know she cried. "You're trembling."

Clutching his shirt tightly, Katherine sniffed. "They put me in a coffin, Damien. Many times. They put me there, and I couldn't get out. They wouldn't let me out."

Something shifted in Damien's expression—worry, fear, anger, rage.

"Who?" he asked in a cold tone; the air around them seemed to crackle.

"Parker… Shadow," she muttered in almost a whisper so that only he could hear. Then her forehead fell on his chest. How could that monster who was already in prison still scare her like this? It was too much. Too tiring.

His hands slid down to her shoulders, holding her up. "Let's go back to your room first. I'm sorry… I didn't know you went through something like that. I shouldn't have forced you to take the MRI."

Katherine shook her head. "It's not your fault. I wanted to go through with the exam. It's been years, and I thought…"

Damien stroked her head, trying to calm her down. "It's okay. We'll figure something out."

Once they were back in the room, she curled onto Damien's lap, refusing to lay down on the bed by herself.

Jeffrey came into the room a few minutes later with a chart in hand. "You still felt anxious even after taking the sedative. Are you claustrophobic?" She only looked at him without saying anything, and then he nodded. "There's another machine—Open Upright MRI where you can sit during the procedure. There will still be a head coil, but the front will be open, unlike the traditional machine." He showed her a picture of it—it was like a room with sides and back but with an open front and a chair in the center. "Do you think you'll be more comfortable with this?"

Katherine let out a sigh. "You should have told me about that first."

Jeffrey smiled. "I'll schedule you for an appointment." He stayed for a few more minutes discussing what their next course of action was before he left the room.

Damien stroked her head as she laid on his lap. "Tell me about your nightmares."

She bit her bottom lip, not wanting to recall what made her have trouble sleeping. But after a full minute of silence, she began to tell him all about those dark dreams.