Chapter 90 - 87. not a part of it.....(2)

Even when she knew that she was dead, it seems the world's consciousness didn't eject her, who was an outsider, out; maybe it was that she was never supposed to be a part of this world and since she was unable to do anything, it let her be...

Meilin was truly tormented, no matter how calm and rational of a person you are who is going to stay the same after knowing that while your consciousness is stuck in a world your physical body is dead, even though you want to talk to your loved ones, you can't.... it was truly a torment, an eternal imprisonment, at the end of this line, the best outcome would be her just waking up in her own world because she already knew, she would lose her sanity here....

The world didn't even let her have the time to think, as it seems her consciousness was stuck to area which was close to Xuanxuan, she went back with him to the Qin Mansion after the silent burial of her body.....

She saw her grandfather who looked older than she remembered, he looked haggard, her grandmother was trying to put up a strong front for her family, but Meilin didn't miss the look of desolateness and her frail body, it seemed she had not slept for days, her Uncle Feng who was supposed to be at the peak of his youth after just completing his Post-Grad seemed dazed, it was very rare... the whole atmosphere in the Mansion was too dark, heavy and she felt suffocated... She wanted to shout at the top of her lungs that she was there, but it won't work, the truth slapped her hard, it was putting salt in her open wound.....

The world didn't let them grieve for long, her sperm-donor of a father didn't show his face, without an heir, no matter how small, there was unrest in the business and among the partners, though it wasn't showing now, the shares will go down, no matter how big the tree, if it didn't bear fruits, it would die old, alone.... Her grandparents had to stay strong, it was not just about their lives anymore, after all, the Qin supported millions of people, it couldn't go down easily....

But it seemed her grandfather didn't take care of his health anymore, he was too invested in his work, Feng Jiajie who supported him by his side, though young and capable, still had to bear a heavy pressure, her grandmother helped out in part of the business and was also responsible to take care of ZiXuan, who looked half-dead.

From the day she had popped into this world, it had already been a month, ZiXuan, hadn't left her room, he didn't have an appetite and forced the food mechanically when her grandparents fed him, or else he would be in a daze inside her room, he won't eat, he couldn't sleep, even his mental state was in a sensitive state, she saw him shed tears caressing a photograph of her which, she hadn't let go since that day, he would whisper in the softest of the voice her name.....

Days went by, weeks and months and even years went by, she saw the soulless boy grow into a very cold and distant man, he still couldn't sleep and was on medication for it, because of his poor appetite over the years, he had developed chronic ulcer too...

He had come out of her room exactly after one year, on her one year death anniversary, he had taken a bath after, but his body which had turned so feeble couldn't be hidden, his usually dark orbs of the eye that seemed to contain all the stars looked dead,... but it seems that day he had decided on something.

He went to see her, he had put a Red China Rose, he had shed tears without speaking a word, he had stayed there standing in the rain, it was a sight which was engraved in Meilin's unconsciousness, if she was there she wouldn't let him be like that.... she will make him rest, she will feed him the best of the foods, she would never let me feel a shred of loneliness, she would always.... always stay by his side...

Qin ZiXuan had slightly changed that day, he worked hard in his studies, he worked hard on himself, he didn't rest, his Meilin used to say that she wanted the Qin Empire to reach the peak and beyond, he had to make it come true, he didn't care about his health, ZiXuan who looked so stoic and strong from the outside who empty and frail inside, he had worked too hard....

Every night he would go to her bed and hold her framed photograph, caressing it, he would whisper, he would plea her to come back.... Every year he would go to her side, would always stand in the rain and cry tears which were washed away with the rain...he was growing, but her heart knew... he was dying inside....

The farthest distance between them was not her living after death and him living like dead, it was her being so close... so so close to him, but unable to touch him, unable to say, "Xuanxuan, I'm here.... everything is alright"

Meilin was like the wind, she had lost her reason years ago, she would shout at the unfairness, she would curse at this world, but years of loneliness, unable to do anything, unable to make her Xuanxuan feel warm, unable to be a part in that world had made her paranoid and cynical...

Both were broken inside.....

It was the last day at his University, he had been asked out by a girl surnamed Xun, her grandfather had asked him to accept it, Meilin who had lost this chance in both the world and was suffering from mood swings and anger issues would do anything to take that rightful place beside him....

"WHY IS SHE ALLOWED BY HIS SIDE? QIN ZIXUAN SHOULD ALWAYS BE HERS!", she shouted, she cried, it was her emotions running rampant, in her own world, it hadn't been a major issue, but watching her walk with him, putting her hand in his, she felt an unknown fear, this world was repulsed by her, but it seems... the girl surnamed Xun, was the darling of this world...