Chapter 44 - 44. Was she wrong....

She felt and believed that she was the closest to him but that single incident led him to distance himself from her.

He was never close to anyone in college still he at least nodded back when she greeted him, it was very normal if you think about it because she was the only one who ever tried to greet him as the rest of them distanced himself from him because of the unusually cold air around him and that he was not someone 'important' back then in the Qin tree, well, not that her irrational brain ever saw that but after that incident, even she felt that he had distanced himself from her as, even she saw him, only when the chairman introduced him as the CEO of the Empire last year.

She was happy for him because no one thought that he will succeed considering the 'princess' was still the known heir but now he got it.

Plus, with the title over his name, her family will allow them to be together.

She was elated, it was like fate was hinting on something.

She took it upon herself and confessed to him that night, she didn't want to lose sight of him once again.

He, of course, didn't say yes at first nor did he accepted her feelings outright.

Sometimes when she thinks about it, she knows that he didn't put her in his eyes and a voice keeps saying 'No, leave him' inside her brain, it is still hard to put it into words but it was like she knew reality but never wanted to admit it and in her darkest of nightmares, she had asked herself countless of times about her charm...but she always leaves that alone in the back of her mind.

Continuing from back where we left it, well, considering his position he had every right to reject her when she only confessed when he was given a higher position but she knew that it 'must' be 'only' because he didn't know the extent of her feelings, he rejected her because the ZiXuan she knew didn't believe in superficial titles, he was the type to treat others the way he felt they deserved irrespective of their stand in the society.

She persisted and finally had him accept her confession or more like he reluctantly conceded due to her persuasion.

Back then she told him that it was only to fend off their suitors, that she wanted to concentrate on her career and this relationship will only be in the name.

She also said that if he found the right person he was looking for, she will back off without any hard feelings; she knew that many families will be forcing meetings on him to meet their daughter and such after the revelations so, she used it to her advantage.

He was reluctant, actually very reluctant but considering he was never 'close' to any woman according to our 'rumors-sama', she didn't feel offended and more like she was glad that he 'only' allowed her to be that close to him.

Well, finally he accepted but he confessed that it was not possible for him to fall in love with her and it was only because they mutually benefited from this and of course he also said that he won't be able to act like a boyfriend, may it be in private or public life; they will just allow some rumors to fly to keep the 'suitors' away and nothing else, he made it very clear but her brain wasn't clear so, it was like babbling at your loudest around a deaf man's ears, he can't listen and in her case she had a special case of 'selective hearing', you know, when we hear what we want to hear and omit the rest.

She was fine with those conditions as she was sure and confident of herself that, once she got the title and green signal to be close to him, she can make it into his heart.

Now after a year, she can finally see how wrong she was, or, maybe how hard it was.

He did as he said, with the incident in their banquet in college and due to a few photos from the party where they appeared to be close, the rumors blew up but still, again as he had said, he never asked her to go out with her, he never called her from his own violation; to him it was just a relationship in name and only name and nothing else.... but she couldn't let him go, after all, she went through, right?

She didn't know why she fell in love with him...

Was it because he didn't treat her differently because of her background or was it because he didn't feel that her choice of work was wrong considering the family she came from or, was it because she felt that even though, he always appeared to be there but his soul and heart was not there, as if, he was waiting for someone, someone she dreamed to be herself more like deemed herself to be 'that person', or maybe... was it because..... it was him.

Well, love was never rational, now was it?

Maybe deep down she already knew that who he was waiting for, was not her, but how could she let him go now?

She was someone who got everything without even thinking about it but he was the first one she desired for but still was not able to get hold of; call it her stubbornness or something else but to get everything she wished for because of her blood or the family that catered her every wish it was in line up her upbringing to get everything she wanted ....but to her it was just her love for him that made her want his everything, that's what she made herself believe.

Was she too conceited to think like that?

Was she wrong to love him?

She just smiled at her thoughts....

KNOCK. KNOCK.

She noticed someone knock on the door.

She got out of her thoughts and placed the magazine on the table after cleaning the cover with a tissue.

She sat up straight and cleared her thoughts, she can't put on a disgraceful front, in front of 'his' people, she just can't.

She put on a beautiful smile as her darkened face from earlier felt like a fleeting fragment of memory and her face bloomed up, with a soft voice she said, "Please come in."