Chapter 46

1、 Pan Qingqing

when Zhou Jincheng called, I had just finished class and I was teaching English in a university. I went to the office to put down my books and chatted with my colleagues. When I got downstairs, Zhou Jincheng's car just arrived.

I used to open the door and get in the passenger seat. The people next to him are as mature and capable as ever. He smiles at me and starts the car. This man, who is nearly 40 years old, has become a master of his means and accomplishments. More than a decade ago, I couldn't figure out what he thought. Now it is even more.

This time, I haven't seen each other for two months, right? I don't know what he's been up to these two months? I have stopped guessing. I even feel that if he doesn't come, I will be much more relaxed.

I was the child of his mother's distant relatives. When I was 14, my parents died in an accident. He adopted me. He was only 24 years old at that time. He had just graduated from university and had just been assigned to the unit. But in terms of seniority, I would like to call him uncle.

At first I did call him uncle, the only elder who would adopt me. Until I was 15 years old, he bought sanitary napkins for me and taught me how to use them. He took my blood stained sheets, dipped them in water and rubbed them clean.

From then on, I didn't know why, and stopped calling him uncle.

I went to high school at 16. The one who was admitted to the key middle school ranked the first in the city. He took me out to dinner to celebrate. During the dinner, I told him that I was going to live in high school. I'm asking him for his opinion. If he doesn't agree, I'll read it by day. But he would never waste his mind on such things. He sipped a sip of tea and nodded and said it was up to you.

In high school, I lived in the dormitory for the first time. It was very novel and I liked it very much. The new classmates in my class were also very positive and cheerful. I began to make a lot of friends from then on. I used to be a person, especially in the years when my parents just passed away, so gloomy that no one wanted to be close to me. Later, during the two years I lived with Zhou Jincheng, I gradually changed myself. I always told myself that at least I could not let him hate him, or let him have a reason to drive me away. I was homeless, except for him who wanted me. After I went to high school, I studied harder, communicated with my teachers, worked part-time and earned some living expenses, even though the money was nothing to him. In just two years, he's got a good seat. He's great, I know.

Girls in high school dormitories often talk about going to bed very late. What they say is which boy is more handsome and which boy is smart and good at grades. When they say it, I always think that no matter how handsome and smart they are, they can't compare with Zhou Jincheng.

The first weekend after I stayed at school, I went home and missed him in my heart. But he wasn't there that day. The next day I got up and walked into the living room to see him making breakfast in the kitchen.

We had breakfast together that morning, and I kept my head down at the table. He was holding the newspaper and eating while reading. He was slow, as if anything happened in front of his eyes, and he would not move his eyelids.

At the end of the day, he asked me how I was getting used to my new school.

I said it was good.

Zhou Jincheng smiles, "that's good."

When I was a sophomore in high school, a handsome boy in our class wrote me a letter. He hoped to do morning exercises with me and read books together. At that time, the school was strict with early love. If caught, parents should be informed and criticized. However, I agreed.

I always get along with that boy very rigidly. I don't know how to fall in love. When we do morning exercises and read books together, we hardly say a few words, let alone hold hands. Even when I was with him, I thought about something else.

He took me home at the weekend after a month of "dating". In fact, I didn't like him to do so. I didn't like people approaching my home. But we are lovers, he said to send me home should be, I thought, nodded. Out of school, he became a lot more aggressive and bold. Downstairs, he even wanted to come up and hug me. I was scared. I stepped back and tripped over the steps, and I fell on the ground.

Zhou Jincheng's car just came in. He got out of the car and saw me. He looked at the boy again. He didn't say anything.

I watched him walk past me and into the building, aggrieved to cry. My boyfriend was scared. He thought I was hurt and helped me up anxiously, "Qingqing, are you ok?! I'm sorry, I won't be like this again! "

When I stood up, I said to him, "thank you for bringing me back. You can go."

He saw that I was going to cry, but he didn't dare to say, "well, I'll see you at school next Monday." As he walked, he turned back. I didn't turn around until I couldn't see him.

When he opened the door and went home, he saw Zhou Jincheng sitting on the sofa watching the news, holding a cup of tea in his hand. I went into the room without saying hello.

He later knocked on the door and told me to have dinner. I didn't pay attention, and he didn't call again.

When I came out at night, I saw him fall asleep against the sofa. The dim desk lamp and the beating light in the TV set shone on his face, which had a kind of inexplicable attraction. He's only 27 years old, but he seems to be in a bit of a rut. I went over and sat down next to him with my hand gently resting on his hand on the political and legal books. He did not move. After a long time, I leaned over to kiss his lips. I'm so nervous in my heart that I have to tell myself, just for once.

He moved his hand and turned over to cover my hand, but still did not open his eyes. He kisses me back slowly, my heart beats like a drum!This is my first kiss, to Zhou Jincheng, and he also wanted, I am satisfied.

When I got back to school the next week, I broke up with my boyfriend and I said I'm sorry. He asked me why? I said that the third year of senior high school is coming. I want to study hard. I want to go to the north. He said with a smile that we should work together. I don't know if we broke up peacefully?

In senior three, I seldom go home, basically only once a month or two. Sometimes I can meet Zhou Jincheng, sometimes I can't.

When they meet, they just say two or three sentences, and the content is irrelevant. He is busier and busier, and he goes higher and higher. I have seen him once on TV. He is rigorous and decent, with a friendly smile. I tried my best to find that news from the Internet, engraved it into the disk, and took it out from time to time in the future.

I did my best in the college entrance examination, and the results were not far from what I expected. I didn't ask Zhou Jincheng when I filled in the volunteer. After filling out the volunteer day, the class organized meals and singing. A group of people who had been squeezed for three years went crazy on that day. I had a few beers with the people in my bedroom, and I was a bit drunk when I went to sing.

I was a little relaxed when I watched the group of people above making a fuss. Someone nearby pushed me and said, "Qingqing, your mobile phone is ringing."

I took it out to see. The name flashing on it made my heart beat.

I went to the corridor outside the box to answer. Zhou Jincheng asked me where I was.

"Singing with my classmates."

He said, "when will it be finished? I'll pick you up. " It doesn't matter whether he wants or not.

I bit my lower lip this time and said where I was. "Can you pick me up now?"

He seemed to smile, "OK."

I told my friends in the box to go first. After struggling to get out, I went to the gate of KTV to wait for Zhou Jincheng. After a while, someone patted me. I turned back to the boy I used to associate with. He said, "so soon? You didn't sing. "

"I can't sing well."

He said with a smile, "I also applied to the University in the north."

"Yuan Bai I'm sorry. "

He waved his hand. "Well, you didn't apologize to me. However, pan Qingqing, we are in the same city for the next four years. If you need help and need to tell people, please think of me first, OK? "

Without Zhou Jincheng Will I like this warm and kind boy in front of me? But whatever the answer, the hypothesis doesn't make sense. Because I already have Zhou Jincheng in my heart. I am dependent on his feelings, is timid, is admiration, is extravagant hope. No one can replace it.

When Zhou Jincheng arrived, I had been waiting in the night wind for half an hour. He said there was a traffic jam.

I said I just came out, too.

On the way, he asked me, "your head teacher said you applied to a university in the north?"

"Well."

He nodded. "It's good, too."

That night I had a drink and was a little drunk, but I knew that my consciousness was sober and sober enough to seduce him. I took his neck around his kiss, he was stunned, did not refuse. I was so nervous that I shivered, but I was determined to pester him.

He said with a smile, "I learned to drink when I was young."

"I'm nearly twenty."

After a while, he said, "take a bath first."

I was overjoyed, but after all, this kind of experience has never been, only in the bottom of my heart a few times, panic is inevitable. And he comforted me and dominated everything.

We met candidly in bed, I climbed his shoulder, his voice dark: "blue, call me."

I was confused and said in a low voice, "Jincheng, Zhou Jincheng..."

I felt him enter my body. The pain made me cry out. He walked along my hair. I heard him say vaguely: "don't cry I only have you. "

I felt like I was floating on the water, drowning and floating. I held on to the only floating wood that could save me, "Zhou Jincheng..."

I got the admission notice, I filled in the first volunteer to admit me, reported on September 10.

When Zhou Jincheng saw the notice, he just said, "I'll send you the day you go."

He didn't see me off that day. He had a meeting that he couldn't leave.

I packed myself and took a taxi to the airport. I didn't see him coming when the plane took off.

College life is almost as I imagine, free, suitable for love.

But I'm no longer like I was in high school, trying to find someone else to fill in because I want someone else, because it's going to be worse. So I spend most of my spare time studying and working.

Zhou Jincheng seldom contacted me, and I returned home every six months.

The first winter vacation home, Zhou Jincheng is busy entertaining people who come home to pay New Year's greetings. He wears comfortable and loose clothes, and smiles gently. Those guests were surprised when they saw me. Zhou Jincheng said that she was my niece.

That night I nestled in his arms and held him in my arms. He closed his eyes, opened my hand and said, "go wash and go to bed."I lowered my eyelids and rolled over and pressed on him. I want to kiss him, he frowned, "green?" I kissed him on the lips and went down. When I got to his abdomen, he raised my jaw with his hand. "OK, that's enough."

A moment ago, we were still in the most intimate and hot climax, but at this time it seems that we are separated by thousands of mountains and rivers. I feel cold.

In those two years of sophomore and junior year, I only went back home near the thirties of the new year, and stayed at school the rest of the time.

And I know that he doesn't live at home any more. He was transferred to Beijing last year and became an official diplomat. The capital is not far from my city, but we haven't met once in the past two years.

No, I met once. The only time I met in those two years was my sophomore's winter vacation. He told me to go back.

He took me to his sister's wedding party.

At the beginning of the wedding, I saw the bride in cheongsam come out. I want to call aunt for Zhou Jincheng's sister. But because the relationship is too far, and not often contact, so not familiar. But I remember her, and I think, she should not remember me, because she had not contacted me much before. Later, Zhou Jincheng never met her after accepting me. He never took me to see his relatives, friends or anyone else.

I looked at those decent and calm people on the field, and felt that I was so out of place and humble.

And I'm here just for him.

In the middle of the banquet, I saw him, looking at a quiet but alienated girl. He had always been merciless, with sincerity and pity in his eyes.

I suddenly laughed and lowered my head. I found myself a little bit like that girl, but she was younger and more beautiful.

I didn't wait for him. He got up and walked out of the dining room of the hotel, and he never looked at me.

When I walked out of the hotel lobby, I found that it was snowing heavily outside. I reached for a snowflake, watching it melt in my hand, cold into my heart.

I took a taxi home and cooked instant noodles myself. Cross legged, wrapped in a thin quilt, sitting on the cane chair by the window, looking at the snow outside, one chopstick to scoop noodles to eat.

When Zhou Jincheng came back to see me, he didn't say much. In fact, he was a little drunk and walked into the bathroom, and I heard vomiting inside.

I took off my quilt and went to the bathroom, helped him gargle, and finally undressed him and helped him to wash under the shower. He was smiling and stroking my face. "You're so good."

The heat in the bathroom obscured my face, so he probably couldn't see clearly that I wanted to cry at that time.

In my senior year, I applied to stay in school after graduation. My grades were always excellent and I was not bad at dealing with people. So my tutor quickly replied that after finishing my graduation thesis, I would work with him first, and then I could go to graduate school while working.

During the winter vacation that year, I decided to stay at school to write my thesis. The number of students staying in school in winter vacation is obviously less than that in summer vacation. The whole university is like an empty city. It's very difficult to meet a person on the road of people's coming and going. The school canteen doesn't cook any more, so I often have to go out to eat. Later, the weather forecast said that it would snow in recent days, so I simply bought a box of instant noodles and piled them in my bedroom. When I was hungry and couldn't get out of the door, I would eat instant noodles.

On the night before the Chinese New Year's Eve, I received a phone call from Zhou Jincheng. He asked me, "will you go home tomorrow?"

"No more." I can't find an excuse. The school has something to do, and I can't buy a ticket. These reasons are too easy for him to see through and simply don't make up anything.

He was silent at the other end for a moment before he said, "I know."

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