Volume 3 - CH 6

I was getting married and had to voluntarily withdraw from high school.

Kouki would remain in school until he graduated from high school, and then he would work for the transportation company where Yoji-san was employed.

Kouki and I were still living separately.

I was supposed to raise the baby at my parent’s house with my mother’s support until one month after the birth, and then I would be allowed to live at Koki’s house.

Once we have saved enough money for the three of us to live together, we plan to rent an apartment and live there.

It was decided that the baby’s name would be “Kouya” if it is a boy, and “Umi” if it is a girl.

———

The baby was a girl.

After the baby was born, my life would undeniably change drastically.

I had to put the baby first in everything I did.

She didn’t cry much at night, which was a big help, but I was always carrying her on my back when she wasn’t sleeping, so I was always tired.

My mom lived with me, but she worked during the day, so I had to do my best as a mother because she couldn’t keep spoiling me.

———

A year after the birth, I left Umi at daycare and went to work myself. The office clerk at the company where Kana-san worked had retired, so I was offered a position to replace her.

I was totally indebted to Kana-san because she not only provided me with a lot of support after Umi was born, but she even introduced me to a job opportunity. When I told her that, she said, “You don’t have to worry about that.” She smiles and says, “You are my daughter-in-law, so it’s only natural.”

As for Kouki, he has been working hard with Yoji-san every day since he graduated from high school. I know there must be a lot of hard work, but I can only be thankful to Kouki for working so hard for us.

———

“Long time no see…”

“Ah, how have you been? I haven’t seen you much lately, I’ve missed you.”

I sometimes spent my work lunchtime with Sayuki.

When my friends from high school found out that I had a child, they all drifted away from me. However, Sayuki was the only one who treated me the same as before. I didn’t have many friends, so Sayuki’s presence was very important to me.

“Hazuki seems to be as busy as ever.

“Yes, but every day is fulfilling.”

“I see, college students have a lot of free time. I’ve been working part-time for the most part.”

“Speaking of that, what happened with your boyfriend?”

“Hmmm? I met him on a blind date, but even so, I was surprised that we could stay together for so long.”

When Sayuki was in high school, she would go out with one person for a long time, but when she became a college student, she would change boyfriends in a short period.

I wonder if it is different when you are a college student.

“Speaking of which, what are you doing this Saturday and Sunday, Hazuki?”

“Well, I have plans to go out to the next town on Sunday, and I don’t have anything special planned for Saturday.”

“I see. That’s too bad. I can’t play on Saturday because I have some plans. What are you going to do on Sunday?”

“You know that new shopping mall that just opened? I’m thinking of going there with my family.”

“Wow, that’s nice. Hazuki must have a happy married life”

I found myself blushing as Sayuki made fun of me. Although I only talked with Sayuki about such trivial things, as I was busy with work during the weekdays and raising children, and doing housework at night, this time was irreplaceable for me.

———

Kouki is usually gentle, but there were times when he would come home from work and be irascible and irritable. I would ask him, “What’s wrong?” but he would just say, “It’s none of your business,” or “I’m just irritated by work,” and there was nothing I could do to help him.

After two years of marriage, Kouki started coming home late more and more often. Apparently, work is hard and everyone is busy.

Yoji-san must be having a really hard time because he always looks tired.

So I tried to make him relax as much as possible so that he could at least relieve his fatigue at home.

———

One day, more than half a year after Kouki started coming home late, I received a RINE from Sayuki. When I checked its contents, I was so surprised that I dropped my phone on the floor.

“Hazuki… Kouki is walking arm in arm with a woman I don’t know…”

There were multiple pictures attached to that message.

The pictures showed him entering a love hotel with an unknown woman who looked a little older than him, happily arm in arm.

“I was walking down the street and saw them. I followed them and they went into a love hotel together…”

My mind went blank.

Huh? Did Kouki have an affair?

Is that a lie? Who is she? Who is this woman?　

There were many things I didn’t understand, but there was one thing I did understand.

I was betrayed by Kouki….

———

Later we ended up divorcing.

The woman whom Kouki went into the love hotel with was apparently a woman who worked in the office at his company. Worst of all, the woman was also married, so it was what is called a “W” affair. [TLN: Can’t find any definition on “W affair” but I can confirm it’s an L move]

I couldn’t forgive him for betraying me, and I repeatedly cursed at him.

No matter how much he apologized, there was no way I could forgive him.

I did not want to hear his voice or see his face.

I didn’t want to spend even a second with such a filthy person who had no regard for human feelings.

I went downstairs to the living room and thanked my in-laws for everything they had done for me. Yoji-san and Kana-san apologized repeatedly, saying that they were truly sorry for what had happened.

I owe them both a huge debt of gratitude, and while I was grateful, I had no reason to hold a grudge, so I simply told them, “Please don’t do that.”

Incidentally, Kouki’s unfaithful partner also went through a divorce, and both were fired from their jobs at the company.

And Yoji-san, who was relatively senior in the company, was also demoted to a more senior position after being made responsible for his son’s infidelity.

When the affair was discovered, Yoji-san and Kana-san were furious.

That would be true. Kouki had betrayed many people.

———

As I left the Kitajima house and arrived in front of my parent’s house, I saw Yuuri’s parent’s house.

That is when I realized that what Kouki had done to me was the same as what I had done to Yuuri.

I had inflicted this pain and anger on Yuuri.

I realized for the first time how much I had actually done to Yuuri.

I broke down crying on the spot.

My heart was almost crushed by the enormity of the crime I had committed.

It was too late.

Even if I realized the magnitude of my sin now and tried to apologize for it, Yuuri would have already looked ahead to the future, so an apology would only be a nuisance to him.

I can no longer apologize to Yuuri, nor can I show my sincerity. I can’t talk to anyone about the crime I committed, and I will have to carry it with me for the rest of my life.

———

And four years have passed since Kouki and I divorced.

I changed jobs at a small company with about 10 employees, where I am both an office clerk and an accountant.

Today, I had an appointment to have dinner with my friend from high school, Sayuki, so I went home and took Umi, who is now in elementary school, to the station where we were to meet.

“Sorry, for making you wait.”

“No, I don’t mind. Don’t worry about it. Oh, Umi, hi! Umi is pretty today too.”

“Sayuki, you’re pretty too!”

“Kuu~! What a good girl! I wish I could get married and have kids soon too… Oh, sorry.”

Sayuki must have thought she had misspoken.

She looked apologetic and apologized to me.

“It’s okay, as long as I have Umi. As long as Umi is around, I can do my best no matter how hard it is.”

“You are indeed a strong mother! Oh, Umi, your luggage looks heavy, let me carry it for you.”

“T, thanks!”

“No, no, no. You have to take care of your own luggage.”

“Well, don’t say that. Let’s go out to eat quickly.”

Saying that Sayuki took Umi’s hand and started walking.

When we were near the front of the station, Sayuki dropped Umi’s bag that she was carrying. As I was about to go back to get it, a kind-looking man picked up the bag ahead of me and handed it to Umi.

(Yuuri………)

I recognized him immediately.

I hadn’t seen his face in eight years, but there was no way I could have mistaken Yuuri for him.

“Here you go.”

“Onii-chan, Thanks for picking me up.”

“You’re so smart to thank me properly.”

Yuuri’s gentle voice praised Umi as she thanked him, and nothing had changed since then.

Yuuri… I want to talk to you.

I want to make amends to you and talk with you again, as a childhood friend.

I realized that my feelings, which had been dormant until now, were waking up again.

Yuuri, who had been standing on his knees, stood up, looked at me and Sayuki, and bowed his head once small.

“Yuuri.”

Then I heard a female voice, not mine, calling Yuuri’s name.

That woman was… Kanade.

When Yuuri saw Kanade’s face, he smiled the same way he used to smile at me when we were dating and went toward Kanade. And in Kanade’s arms was a little creature.

I was astonished to see that if I had not betrayed Yuuri, there would have been a future for me standing there. And the fact that Yuuri must have seen my face firmly, but did not realize it was me.

I crouched there and sobbed.

“Mom. What’s wrong, are you okay?”

I suddenly started crying, and Umi was worried about me and patted my head.

I hugged Umi and cried there for a long, long time.