Chapter 84 - THINKING OF THE FUTURE

I slept at Kyle's place again. I guess I will have to get used to that, since he just put down a massive down payment on that new condo. And unlike the ones we are in now, that one was only available to purchase, not to rent.

Am I really ready to settle down like that? Am I willing to put in roots and give up my semi nomadic lifestyle? This would be hard for me. I really don't know if I will be able to handle it.

In all fairness, I have lived nearly half of my life without ever having anything permanent. I never kept a permanent address because I moved a lot. I never kept cars because they would lead back to me. I never did anything for myself because it would lead back to Victor.

If it hadn't been for EZ and his family taking care of me then I would still be slumming it. I had the money to do better but better meant permanent paperwork and landlords that actually filed paperwork. I needed the crappy ones that would help hide me without even realizing it.

Having my life in Laurell's name definitely made things easier for me. I never had to worry anymore. I was able to have nicer things and new cars. Everything had been in the name of Laurell Horne so nothing could ever come back to me. Even their bank cards. They didn't have my name on it so I had to carry special paperwork that gave me permission to use them. There really was nothing that led anyone back to me when I went out of town.

That is, until Kyle got a hold of me. When he started hunting me down my life started to change. Now I was mated, pregnant, and settling down. If he pops the question I think I might just die from overload.

But would I marry him?

That was the big question. I needed to ask myself that really big and really important question. If Kyle asked me to marry him what would I say?

Well, to start with, I thought about my dream that I had woken up from the other night. It may have ended badly but the beginning was bliss. I was pregnant, very pregnant. And there on my finger was a ring. That meant that in the dream we were either married already or going to get married.

Well, then there was the fact that I was going to have a baby. Yeah, plenty of women have babies without being married but does that mean I want to be one? I haven't dreamt about a future with a husband and children since I was a very young girl but in each one of those dreams I was married to the daddy for my child.

I guess that means I am the type of person who would want to be married before I got pregnant and had kids. Well, I messed up on the order here a little but I can fix it, right?

I was thinking about all of this, not paying attention to my surroundings, when Kyle snapped me out of my thoughts. He had done it most effectively too. I had been sitting in a chair, leaning back against it with my head leaning angled so that I could stare at the ceiling. Kyle took advantage of the way I was sitting to sneak in and kiss me on the lips.

OK, he probably didn't sneak in, but I was so lost in thought that he might as well have been a giant mutant crab coming up to pinch my nose. It wouldn't have surprised me any more, or less.

"Kyle." I growled at him as I jumped and straightened myself in the chair.

"You looked so beautiful while you were lost in thought, I couldn't help myself." He was laughing lightly.

"Well, you scared the shit out of me." I glared at his smiling face. "What did you want?"

"I wanted to ask what you were thinking so hard about. You looked like it was hurting you or something."

"No, not hurting, just thinking."

"Not going to share it with me then, huh?" He didn't sound upset, he just said it like it was a matter of fact. He accepted it.

"Hey, a woman needs a few secrets." I laughed at him.

"Ha, a few. Jacy you have more secrets than EZ has clothes."

"How do you know how many articles of clothing he has?" I tilted my head and took on a surprised look. "Kyle, don't tell me you slept with my best friend." I sounded offended and shocked, the look on his face was worth it all.

Kyle's eyebrows shot up and his eyes opened as wide as he could. The way he was spluttering, trying to talk, was hilarious.

"N-no, I-I, it's not, you don't think, how could I, n-no, absolutely not, w-what?"

"HAHAHA!" I was laughing so hard that I had to lean forward and hold my sides. "That was epic." I continued to laugh.

"Huh?" Kyle sounded confused.

"Thank you for the laugh, Kyle. That helped to relieve some of the stress and tension I was feeling."

"I'm glad I could be used as a tool for you." He glared at me. "Please don't do that again."

"It was funny. And you know I would never truly think like that. You just left me the perfect opening to say it." Kyle was still glaring at me while he breathed heavily through his nose. He was trying to calm himself, that was for sure.

"I don't think it was funny at all."

"Oh don't be mad." I leaned forward and kissed him, that made him smile again. "I was just blowing off a little steam since you surprised me. But I was just thinking about a few serious topics, that is all. You don't need to worry about it."

"You're my mate, Jacy, I will always worry about you and everything that bothers you. I hope you can see that someday."

I felt my heart break and swell at the same time. I couldn't believe what he was saying to me. He was both declaring his love to me but also telling me he didn't think that I trusted him.

"I know, Kyle." I held his hand tightly. "It's just a lot to adjust to. I have been living with the idea that none of this would ever happen for me. I never thought I would meet someone like you. I never thought I would live with someone or be pregnant. I never thought I would have a normal life."

I sighed at the end of my little speech. That had been when I thought about the threat still hanging over me. I wasn't safe yet, not by a long shot.

"Actually, I don't have a normal life yet. I am still being hunted. I have to worry about Victor, and my pack. If my dream comes to fruition then-."

"What dream?" Kyle looked like he was not happy that I left something I was worrying about unsaid.

"I know you want to be there for me, Kyle, but that doesn't mean that every one of my fights will become yours. Some things I still have to handle on my own."

"Actually, Jacy sweetheart, that's exactly what it does mean. You don't have to shoulder any more of these burdens alone anymore, not for the rest of your life." I couldn't help it, what he was saying lined up too perfectly with what I was thinking recently.

"This sounds a little like a marriage proposal." I was laughing hard at the very idea of it.

"Close. You can count it as my intent to propose. I don't have the ring yet and you deserve a truly special proposal. Just know that I plan to ask you for real as soon as I can."

My jaw dropped then. And try as hard as I could, I couldn't make it close again. He had just said that right? He had just told me that he was going to officially propose to me, soon. Did he think that wasn't going to blow my mind? Come on Kyle, I am so not the typical girl. You can't just throw stuff like that out at me. I needed time to process this. I needed time to prepare myself.

And, what was I going to answer? The first thing that came to mind was yes but should I really agree that quickly. If I listened to the wolf that was howling in my head then I would. What was my heart saying though? That is what I needed to go with. Too bad that was saying yes as well. I think I'm doomed. Stupid anatomy, it didn't know what was good for it at all. It didn't understand that love wasn't what you needed to survive. You needed to be strong and smart too. 

Like Kyle, he was strong, smart, sexy, and delicious. He was like the perfect piece of chocolate that just melted across the tongue when you licked it.

GAH! Stop it Jacy, this isn't the time.