Chapter 164 - 3.60

"Is this your way of declaring your stance? You're going to run away like always, not telling me anything? I truly admire your great character!"

[Host, please hold yourself back. You look extremely.. murderous right now.]

'Yeah, right. This damn woman.. is the culprit of everything.' Xu Jiaqi glared at her. She was the one who started the troubles.

Xu Yan wanted to form a rebuttal, but held herself back after looking carefully at Xu Jiaqi's face, who looked quite similar to both her and the man she once loved.

She bit her lips hard, then tipped her head backwards. "..What do you want to know? I don't have much to tell you."

"First of all, would you be so kind as to tell me what the hell happened? How you two separated, and why was the letter.. almost like implying that it was written years ago?" Xu Jiaqi questioned.

She noticed how old the letter was. How some of the ink had already started to fade or smudged. How the man indicated 'the future', and portrayed the entire thing as having only been done recently.

"..Ha! I can't believe that out of all things, the first thing that you choose to ask me is that.." Xu Yan broke into a laughter.

"..Would you please tell me? Or am I just wasting time by being here?"

Xu Yan face grew sullen. None of the laughter that was executed seconds ago retained.

"..Haa. Could you speak softer? The years are starting to get on me, my ears hurt when you speak that loudly.

"..Although I have always told others that he betrayed and fooled me.. In truth, it was me who backed away from our promises towards the end."

"He promised to marry me, and I promised to accept his love. He said that he fell in love with me, and I said I also did. The thing about his wealth wasn't a lie, it was just that I was..." Xu Yan began clasping her hands and rubbed her thumbs against each other. A sickening force stirred inside her stomach. Making her nauseous.

Every time she tried to discuss this matter, her psyche would always be attacked.

"I was afraid. Ever since I was a little child, I was already involved with the service jobs, it wasn't rare that men would come and take a fancy on me, and then leave after they lost interest. I didn't know whether this man would be the same or not."

"I felt.. dirty. It was a strange feeling, because before he came, I took pride in my job. By doing less than other people, I was able to earn more. However, it was only after I met him did I regret my line of work."

"By getting together with him, not only me, but he would also be heavily impacted. He came from a well off family, had a great job that required a lot of connections and reputation, so having a wife like me would've stained his name black. He was pure, unlike me. The reason he came into the house was never for fun. He had been watching me. For a long time.. before he steeled his nerves and approached me through the traditional way, as a customer,"

"I'm sure that the feeling he had for me was true. It was just my fears that held me back. In the end, I was impregnated by him. It was a mishap, but I chose to keep her life. Although.. I went on an outrage and deterred him from pursuing me as hard as I could. That was the best outcome for the two of us."

"He was a promising young man, and I was a lowly service woman. Our world would never mix, just like oil and water. Even if it did mix, it would never achieve peace. That's why, I made a fuss.    I used every single method to make him doubt me. I wanted to make him hate me and leave." Xu Yan tightened her fist, emphasizing on her last words. "I schemed against him. Made it impossible for him to reconcile back with me.

"But in the end, he still loved me. He claimed that he was scared of facing the situation.. But it was me who orchestrated everything. I set him up for a crime. I made him run away.. I was the one who did everything, and yet he still sent this letter two years after you were born. He is a smart man, I assume he's out there living life, managing to survive somehow even after my actions harmed him this much."

She pursed her lips, and wrote three letters on top of a piece of paper.

It read: Han Zhongli.

"Han Zhongli. That was his real name. You must be of a high standing now, right? So please find out the rest by yourself, will you? His identity is rather special, but not one that would prevent you from discovering his existence. I'm sure that you won't have too much trouble investigating his matters. I've told you my side of the story. The rest.. if you're interested, meet up with him and ask him, not me." Xu Yan sighed a long breath and ended her storytelling time.

She took out a cigar, lit it up, and started smoking while having her back turned towards Xu Jiaqi.

It seemed like the conversation was over. Xu Yan wanted to one - sidedly end the discussion. Taking notice of her change in mood, Xu Jiaqi picked up the piece of paper and stored it inside her pouch.

Her intention was to discover information for her mission anyway. Now that she obtained the clue, she no longer had any business with the woman.

Before she left, she stopped in her tracks and looked at Xu Yan with a trace of caution.

"...One last question."

"I have a lot of things to do, so I would appreciate it if you don't dawdle on for too long, hm?" Xu Yan's interest was taken off Xu Jiaqi as she diverted her attention back to her eye - straining documents.

"Have you ever regretted your decisions.. be it your career, your young love, and lastly... the pregnancy and your daughter?"