Chapter 149 - 3.45

"..Oh, well. I better stop, right? I.. have a question, though. This will be the final one." He Yiyuan's lips tightened as he pandered to look towards Xu Jiaqi in the eye, a sharp pang of pain squeezing his heart over the clear rejection that Xu Jiaqi gave to him.

In the end, in the five years they spent together, he had never entered her heart. It was his fault in the first place, why on Earth would he have tried to fight for this woman, who already had someone on her mind on the very first day he met her?

On the other hand, was it so wrong for him to begin to love her, when Xie Yongrui and her didn't have an official status together yet? The three of them were all free souls. He Yiyuan simply wanted to enter the equation, he wanted to try and fight for his feelings.

If he was thrown back in time, a part of him would have probably did the same thing he did up until this point. It was a rather tragic one sided love, but he felt satisfied when he looked at her right now. She still had the free soul, interesting

At first, he was indeed quite wary and even displeased by her existence. Simply because his intuition told him so, it told him that Xu Jiaqi was a dangerous entity in the making. At the same time, his intuition told him to just keep a tight watch on her and not to provoke or attract her wrath.

Following his instincts, he did find out that whoever dared to try and challenge her ended up falling in the end. For that, he should be thankful.

He watched as she grew to be a respectable figure in his own country, building her standing from scratch. It was no wonder that Xie Yongrui fell in love with her, he thought. The past imperial prince was the one closest to Xu Jiaqi's heart, but he also had his own insecurity and worries over his relationship with Xu Jiaqi.

Because there was no real substance between them. When He Yiyuan paid a visit to Xian Ruo to check on how the land was doing as it was technically his Kingdom's direct affiliate, he saw past Xie Yongrui's stability and composure. He detected the incessant staggering the man possessed.

That day he found out about how miserable this man was, he rejoiced. He knew it was wrong to feel happy over the misfortune of another, but it was his rival in love. His enemy in a sense.

But no matter how hard he fought for it, Xu Jiaqi never opened his heart to him. No matter how hard he tried to make her turn her head towards him and sincerely smile, it never happened.

Until this day came. The day that he had been preparing himself for. The day he wished to stop dragging everything any further. The day he finally confessed, and awaited response.

The fact that the response was a rejection was in his calculations, but he had never thought that the actual thing would be this painful to bear. He had mentally prepared himself for this moment, but nothing could stop the thorny vine that constricted his heart as he forced himself to stay calm and continue talking to Xu Jiaqi, the woman he somehow fell in love with.

Like a poison, this love exposed him to countless harm and vulnerability.

When did it start? Was it because the woman carried the most interesting charm that he had ever encountered in his entire life? Because Xu Jiaqi was so confident and amazing in her field of work, that  no matter what she did, it would never cease to amaze him?

There were so many points about the girl that he liked, and he could list them all day long. This was his first time having any other strong emotions in this level except for negative ones.

Was he wrong for wanting to be with her? His emotions, his feelings that he ended up developing were out of his control. He wasn't able to restrain himself, he wasn't able to think straight.

What a dilemma.

"Say it." Xu Jiaqi massaged her temples, deciding to give He Yiyuan the benefit of the doubt and listen to him.

Obviously, she knew how he felt, but she never acknowledged it because she didn't think he would actually dare to proclaim those thoughts of his. But who knew? Today, he finally made his mind up and confessed.

"If.. If I had met you earlier, if I came into your life before Xie Yongrui did, would you look at me the same way you are looking at him right now?"

A sliver of hope hid itself inside his heart. An attempt to console himself, not knowing if it would work in or not.

"No. I know that.. the reason I look upon him this way is not because he saved me, nor is it because I admire him, but because of a completely different reason that I am not able to tell anybody about. It transcends everything that goes around this world, and you would not be able to relate with this thing."

Xu Jiaqi gave an immediate answer without even thinking about it. It was spontaneous, and it came straight out of her heart.

The final hope inside He Yiyuan's heart finally died out. He let out a sigh. Somehow, besides the heartbreak he felt, he was also struck with relief. A heavy burden had been lifted off his heart, and it made him breath easier than ever before.

"..Then, you should hurry and tell him about what you feel. He is also struggling with himself, as far as I know. I'm sure that.. If you tell him, he would feel a lot more comfortable and relieved." He Yiyuan averted his gaze away from Xu Jiaqi, no longer wishing to pursue this matter.

He chose to relent, because he knew that there was no place for him.

What else can he do except for wish the best for the two of them?