Chapter 239 - 4.65

As both Tang Yizhou and the System were panicking over different things, Xu Jiaqi herself had a predicament that she wasn't able to solve.

'Mm..?' Xu Jiaqi felt uncomfortable all over, but she wasn't able to put her hands on the feeling. It was like she was entrapped inside a cocoon. There was a barrier preventing her from escaping. The same barrier also gave off a sense of security, tightly hugging her and making her feel whole.

Her vision was dark. She was sure that she had opened her eyes, but in this place, it was as if nothing had changed. There was no source of light!

"Where am I..?" Xu Jiaqi tried her hardest to speak out loud, but there was only a small sound that came out of her mouth. She felt sleepy, and uncontrollably tired. Like she desired to sleep forever, which was the complete opposite of her self that liked to keep herself busy with accomplishments. A balance between work and rest.

Here, there was an overwhelming drowsiness that took over her mind. Her eyes felt heavy, and they struggled to stay open. Xu Jiaqi instinctively knew that something not so good would happen if she decided to close her eyes off and shut her consciousness down. Like a natural fear for life.

But then, where was she? Where was the System?

This wasn't the first time that this kind of thing had occurred to her. Previously, the same thing happened with her being transferred to the ethereal creature's realm. She wasn't able to contact the System and only returned once a series of strange events occurred, as per the System's explanations.

But at that time, she was directly exposed to her conversational partner, rather than right now where she wasn't aware of her surroundings in the slightest. It was much more scarier. An innate fear that stemmed from the bottom of her heart.

She wanted to call out to someone that could respond to her and give her answers, but that sort of person was not present. She was just alone in the space, not knowing what to do anymore after spending quite some time in the cocoon like hold without any signs of actions coming to light.

The longer she tried to struggle and keep herself afloat, the more it was harder for her. The only thing that prevented her from entirely giving up was her dislike of losing, and this scenario was one of such moments where her inner character came to light.

Her fighting spirit was soon going to run out, however.

Luckily, just as she was about to pass out for good, a voice suddenly rang and intervened in the silent space.

[Child of light. My beautiful child...]

Xu Jiaqi's ears perked up.

"Who are you?" She questioned hurriedly, not wanting to lose this connection no matter what.

The voice was very gentle as it spoke to her. It was also very familiar, but she couldn't pinpoint who the voice belonged to for sure.

The voice did not reply. This made Xu Jiaqi very fearful, thinking that the voice had left her to be alone one more time. She panicked, but soon, the voice returned. This time, her surroundings started to unravel and open up. It revealed a pure white realm.

In the middle of the realm, she saw herself. More specifically, a version of herself. It was her body, the exact same appearance and feel, but Xu Jiaqi could tell that it wasn't her at all.

The doppelganger began to open their eyes and mouth.

[It has been a long time since we first met. You were born so gracefully, born from the fruits of life and blessed by the entire universe to prevail over others.. You weren't supposed to meet this kind of fate, my dear child.] The figure approached Xu Jiaqi and extended their warm hand to caress Xu Jiaqi.

With it, Xu Jiaqi felt like her soul was simultaneously being healed.

"What is your purpose? You were the one who brought me here, correct?"

[I want to show you some memories.. Scenes that I think you deserve to recognize.]

"My System said that there are things that I shouldn't know for the time being. Because my soul is in the state of being repaired, and seeing all of these memories will only bring me down. What do you have to say towards that statement?" Xu Jiaqi questioned.

[Child.. The seal's disappearance is near. That creature has been longing for you for so long that I have taken pity for him. Do you not wish to see what happened in the past?]

"It will only hurt me.. will it not?"

[It will be painful, but the truth is important. Without the truth, how can you proceed in the future?]

"Why? Give me reasons. Why I'm here. Who I am. There are so many questions that I want to answer, but can't." Xu Jiaqi protested. She was thrown here without any good explanation, so it was natural for her to not be so happy with the arrangement. 

Everything concerned her, but she was the one who was in the dark for all of it. 

[All of that will be answered as long as you look at your sealed memories, child.]

"But I will just plunge myself into danger if I did that..?"

[No. I...] The figure hesitated.

"Why do you.. sound so sad?"

[...I decided to make some important decisions. Ones that pertain to your wellbeing. I made some sacrifices.]

"Hey, you're not going to do anything foolish, right?" Xu Jiaqi didn't know why, but she felt a lot of sympathy for the one speaking to her right now.

[..I just want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy. Happier than anybody else in this world. You are the one true child of life.. No one else but you. Do you not wish to see your memories?]

"...Instead of me, will you be in pain instead? I don't like other suffering in my stead for no reasons at all."

[It's meant to happen one day. I am also weakening day by day, so I thought that I should prepare a huge surprise for you. End your suffering.]

The voice continued on rambling, wanting to convince Xu Jiaqi to follow through with the memory seeking plan. But then. the voice suddenly escalated. Terror showed through them.

[..My time is almost over. Qiqi, you only need one thing to fully open the seal. Your real name. Not Xu Jiaqi, but the name bestowed to you by the universe. Your real name is Estr-]

Bzzt!

The voice Xu Jiaqi heard kept blurring away towards the end. She couldn't hear the end of the sentence.

Her real name? She had another name? Estr- what?

Was this another part of her real soul's mysteries? She knew that there was something deeper.

"Child of life.. Blessed by the universe." Xu Jiaqi looked at both of her hands.

Drip!

One drop of blood fell on top of her palm out of a sudden.

Drip!

Another one dropped, followed by the third, fourth, and so on.

The drops of blood came from her eyes. Strangely, she didn't feel pain. She just felt.. a lot of sadness.

"My real name.. No- more importantly, his real name.. Ugh!" Xu Jiaqi felt like she was on the brink on recalling something important, but she just couldn't remember it clearly. She was so close.

Him.

The man who loved her like nobody else would. The one who she went through countless years of pain for. That effort was reciprocated by the exact same person. That man. The one who was so important to her. How can she forget about him? Why did she forget?

Pain struck her badly in the head, but she continued to bear it. She wanted to know. She wanted to recall it all. Realize what she had been missing all this time.

It was her destiny! Her wish, her desire. Her everything.

Right. She had an extremely important role. Forsaking that role, she chased away the chains of fate that bound her for that man. She fought against the lord of fate.. and many other figures that strongly wanted her to back away from that man and return to their side to live happily.

But she didn't want to do that.

She was born to be a carefree spirit. A blessed child with enormous powers. But because she tripped and fell in love with a man she would trade her life for to be with, she was here.

It was all coming together. The reason she was an agent. The reason she knew this wasn't her first time as an agent either. Her identity.

Who was he? What was his name?

She only had half of her real name. If what the being said was true, then her real name.. Would be the key to unlocking everything. 

Even then, with only that half, she was starting to feel lines of memories come back to her.