443 THE PAS

The next morning.

After what had happened yesterday, Senja was staring at the ceiling absentmindedly. It was like a dream… a very bad dream… a nightmare….

Her room was still a mess like how Xiao Tianyao had left it.

She didn't let anyone enter the room, not even Qianru.

After Xiao Tianyao broke everything that he could see and all that he could break, he slumped on the floor, pulled his hair and laid his head on his knees. Sometimes, Senja would hear his stifle scream or his painful sobbing.

He had never been so vulnerable like that before, never once.

After what it felt like forever, Senja stilled her heart and approached him, she knelt beside him, slowly and vey gently she stroked his hand, she didn't want to surprise him.

She just wanted to inform him that she was there and he wasn't alone. Senja didn't know what to say at that very moment, so she didn't try to say anything.

But, the moment Xiao Tianyao lifted his head he didn't look at Senja direction when he stood up and left the room.

**He needs some space… He needs his time…** Senja talked to herself, chanting those words like a charm to calm her down, to ease her own pain.

With difficulty she stood up and closed the door. Lock it.

She needed some space too. She needed to be alone, to think everything thoroughly.

And she never opened the door again until the next day, not even let the worried Qianru to enter the room and brought food for her, It could be said the last food that she ate was her cold breakfast from yesterday, however eating was the last thing that she concerned.

She didn't sleep and kept staring at the ceiling, thinking, but there was nothing that came up from her 'thinking', she just felt her head became heavier and heavier…

In the afternoon, Senja decided she couldn't continue her 'thinking' again, so she dragged her tired body and freshened up. She changed her dress into gloomy grey dress, just perfect to her mood.

She opened the door and the afternoon sun assaulted her tired eyes, she closed them and took her time to adjust with it.

When she opened them, she found Xiao Mugi was staring at her. The same eyes, like Xiao Tianyao was staring at her intently and she found her breath became heavy and the pain rose up again.

"What are you doing?" Senja asked the boy with her raspy voice, she almost couldn't recognize her own voice. It sounded harsh and rough. If she continued her silent cry would she lost her voice?

"You look awful." He remarked with his childish voice.

"Thank you." She said while walking away from him, she didn't know where she would go or who she wanted to meet. She just had an urge to move, probably with that she could leave the nightmare of yesterday behind.

Senja had watched too much and she couldn't say she didn't know what Xiao Tianyao felt, because she did know how the effect of that revelation for Xiao Tianyao. Senja felt every anguish and his heart break, she knew what hell he had gone through, because she went there with him as well.

"You didn't eat from yesterday." Xiao Mugi walked beside her. "Father also."

With the mentioned of Xiao Tianyao, Senja stopped in her track. "Where is your father?"

Senja thought Xiao Tianyao would be in his room, still refused to meet other people and succumbed in his own misery, but to her surprised Xiao Mugi answered was totally out of Senja's guess.

"Father is in the meeting room, discussing the upcoming war."

Senja's eyebrows were knitted in confusion. "Really?"

Xiao Mugi nodded. He looked very certain with his answer.

"It's good, that is better." And Senja meant it. It was much better than her expectation.

"Where are you going?" He asked again.

"I don't know…" Senja answered him truthfully. She just walked aimlessly, followed wherever her feet brought her.

"What happened yesterday?" Xiao Mugi kept raining Senja with question. "I could hear father screaming from my room… He sounded very… " He tilted his head, looking for the right word. "… sad."

The word 'sad' was so strange in his tongue if he put together with his scary father. That the last word that fit him.

"Are you still afraid of your father?" Senja asked when she felt his uneasiness.

She was a little bit surprised that her feeling still working.

"No." He lied and Senja knew immediately.

Only then, Senja remembered the vision that Xiao Mugi had talked about, it wasn't something that would happen in the future, it was something that had happened.

Probably, the image was shaken him, so he couldn't get rid of it and lived with it, without knowing the true events and what caused it.

But, Senja didn't want to press the issue further nor she wanted him to aware about that.

Finally they were ended up in the training ground of thousands soldier. That was massive people. Even with it, Senja remembered Xiao Tianyao had mentioned that there were several batches again that would come as well.

It made Senja realized that every minute brought them closer to the unavoidable bloodshed.

There was no time to dwell with the past, wasn't it?

But, sometime the past would hunt you down…