Chapter 148 - Vulnerable

We headed back inside and climbed the stairs to reach the second floor which was for guest rooms. We pulled the beds closer to form a king bed and then laid on it.

I couldn't believe laying on a vintage bed and a farm would be so much better than any five stars hotel I had been to. I couldn't even believe we made it.

"Lily." He turned around, seeking for my hand to hold it and when his gaze met mine he smiled.

"I think it's time for you to meet my mother." He took a long deep sigh.

"She doesn't live much faraway from here if you're ready we could visit her tomorrow." 

I couldn't believe he truly proposed me to meet his mother, I just grew excited and at the same time more nervous at the idea since I heard it.

"I am ready," I said before I could even think about it twice. I was just too excited to meet her and I didn't want him to change his mind before it was too late.

I ended up staying awake the entire night thinking about his mother, he never talked too much about her despite when she told me about her father. 

Not knowing much about her gave me even more reasons to be anxious but I kept my distress under control, as I promised myself earlier, I wouldn't let my concern and negativity get the best of me. 

I succeeded in gathering those potential negative thoughts in the back of my mind but still, I couldn't fall asleep. 

I only fall asleep at about 5 am and slept a few hours before the rooster would crow, waking us up. I found myself trapped by Cameron's hand which embraced my chest.

I waited for him to wake up since he slept so peacefully and when he did he smiled catching me staring at him.

"Good morning beauty," I whispered to him before climbing closer and placing a sweet kiss on his cheek.

"Good morning." He stretched and slowly got up to head to the bathroom as I remained on the bed thinking about the day going to start.

I will meet his mother, I was so happy he would do such a big step for me.

I still had to introduce him to my mother yet he never even mentioned that or forced me to do so.

I wished both our mothers would support us even if our relationship happened so fastly and unexpectedly. 

When we both were ready we walked down to have breakfast with the farmers and Manuelito. He had already made breakfast for us and served us homemade jams and pancakes.

"I was thinking I could visit mom later today and introduce Lily to her." 

When Cameron spoke, Manuelito's smile slowly faded away and silence lapsed over.

"Did something happen?" Cameron asked as soon as he read Manuelito's gaze.

"You don't know?" 

Cameron shook his head and my heart dropped in my chest. 

"I hadn't talked to her in months, I had texted her once in a while but besides that, I had never visited her."

Manuelito nodded as a deep sigh escaped from his mouth, "Cameron she had moved away, we don't know where. One day she called and said she had to take some time off from the countryside. We think she could potentially be away with someone but whenever we called she never answered our calls."

Cameron immediately slipped his phone out of his jacket and called her as he turned the speaker on. His face was still impassible even if his muscles tensing betrayed his composition. However, his mother didn't pick up the phone, he slowly lost his compose until he spat, "that's insane why would she do that all of a sudden?" Cameron swallowed down

"We thought she told you.." Manuelito whispered mortified.

Cameron punched the table's floor but not too strong to make it shake it, then he covered his forehead with his hands and shut his eyes.

"She hadn't told me. I don't know why I didn't call sooner." 

I hated seeing Cameron like that, he kept gazing at me with the corner of his eye and it was so easy to perceive the tension at that moment. He didn't want me to see him in anger so he was holding back all the emotions and struggling to remain calm.

I wish I could tell him that he didn't need to hide from me and also that it wasn't his fault. His mother should have informed him before leaving.

How could his mother do something like that? Disappear suddenly, and stop answering the phone? What if something bad happened to Cameron? Or worst to her and he couldn't even have the chance to see her one last time because he wouldn't know where she is?

Just the thought of it gave me shivers but Cameron was still calmer than I could ever be in such a situation like that. His hand only moved slightly up to his head as he kept gazing down to the floor and shaking his head.

When he found he compose back on he texted his mother: 

URGENT, CALL ME

Then he waited nervously tapping against the table and staring at the phone waiting for the call.

Minutes passed by and silence became a guest of honor in the room as the noise of his nervous tapping filled the room.

Several minutes later the phone immediately rang but I couldn't read the name in time that Cameron already hastily picked up the call.

"Mom?!"

"Hello."

Some silence and an inaudible voice cane from the phone.

"Alright. I am at the farm with Manuelito. You don't have to lie. Where are you."

After a long pause then Cameron's eyes tightened and his jaw tensed.

"Can you hear yourself, mother?" Cameron's voice raised as his hands clong onto the bed to release anger.

"I can't believe it." He whispered as he kept his eyes shut for some instant.

"I wanted to introduce you to my girlfriend and maybe for once act like a good fucking family." His voice lowered down just like his mood and my excitement which now were ruined.

"No mom. I don't want to facetime you! I wanted you to be here maybe to cook us a warm meal and talk about my shitty childhood or watch albums together. Some normal things people enjoy to do not a video call while you are on a spiritual vacation with Mr yoga's teacher!" 

A few more curses followed and then Cameron out of patience hung off the phone.

"She had met this guy three months ago and convinced her to leave for a fuckinf spiritual travel. I can't..." Cameron gestured still reassigned and in disbelief of what he just heard.

I felt so bad for him, he looked at me with a pleading gaze but the one deeply destroyed was him, I could see how much he worked for even considering the big step of introducing his mother to me, only to have the image destroyed in his mind. 

"I want to stay alone with Lily," Cameron said before standing up and walking me to the other room.

I followed him in the next room, he took a deep breath and then shook his head. He looked sad as if I was the one hurting there. 

"Cameron it's fine," I said smiling at him to reassure him that I didn't care and meeting his mother could wait.

"It's not fine." His teeth clenched and he nervously started to walk around the room. For some imperceptible second his eyes filled with tears but he drove them back away.

"It's not fine. I wanted this to be perfect for you. I wanted to be a perfectly good boyfriend making you meet my family and my friends. I am trying so hard. " His voice creaked and my heart ached in my chest hearing him so wretched.

Before I could reassure him again he continued.

"You are the perfect girlfriend, you endured me when I had rules and even accepted the chance I didn't want kids. I wanted to return all that by making you meet my mother." He wrapped his head in his hands just when tears filled his eyes again probably not willing to allow me to see his vulnerability.

"Cameron." I touched his hand and caressed his chin, "please let me see you."

He was covering his face probably because he was crying.

"No." he shook his head.

My heart ached so much in my chest that I felt a lump in my throat forming as well, I couldn't endure seeing him so desperate and in pain. What happened to him that he was so feared to let me see his vulnerability? My heart ached even more after learning he did everything he could to allow me in his world but it was like his mother didn't help him nor care at all.

"I don't care about meeting your mother if she is someone who hurts you this much. My love won't fade away just for that. You are the most amazing boyfriend I had ever had. Trust me."

I caressed his hands which were still on his face.

"Please Cameron, let me see you."

He took a long deep breath and slowly moved his hands away from his face.