Chapter 135 - Cruel Father

I was confused by his sudden confession, was that the reason why yesterday he was promising me he would never give up on me? 

I didn't understand why he mentioned that all of a sudden even if we never spoke about our life projects for the future. 

I had a positive feeling about that, I knew that our love will be able to overcome that little problem as well. He also had rules that he ended up breaking in a few months maybe he will do the same and decide to choose happiness over rancor.

Unlike most of the men I had met including Carl, Cameron could change and he showed me that when he began to slowly give up his rules for me. Opening the gates of his heart for me and me only, if he did that already, how couldn't I hope he would do the same again? 

I was faithful in our bond and our love.

"Please answer me, say something." He insisted concerned. 

I didn't know how to reply to such a confession, I didn't even know what to think or what he needed me to say. Was he seeking reassurance from me? Or did he want me to show I was sorry and guarantee him I didn't want kids in the future? Or lastly, did he want me to shake him off and force him to give up on his past? Was I even able to do so?

"I don't know what to say, Cam..." I whispered. My coffee had turned cold and I hated drinking cold coffee in the morning. So I walked to the coffee mug and poured some hot water into my cup.

"I am sorry for what happened to you but I promise I will help you to overcome what you went through with your father."

I said the best thing that came to my mind being just as honest as I could be and speaking with my heart.

"What if I can't Lily..." His voice broke once again and for some instant when his voice rang uncontrollably miserable I truly thought he would have serious difficulties about moving on.

I didn't know if I could accept not having kids, even if it wasn't my priority having a family was always been one of my biggest secret dreams. 

"Cameron..." I could feel my chest pounding and a lump forming in my throat, I had never thought such a thing would happen to a couple like Cameron and me. That could either make the strongest couple ever exist or destroy us completely. 

I cleared my voice, I didn't want him to see me hesitant and taken aback even if I was. 

"Let's focus on our present now." I offered a smile, the most reassuring one I had in my collection of a prepared smiles.

I took a deep breath, looking at him as I took his hand and shook it.

"It must have been hard to hear his father say those words to you."

His cold surface wasn't so impassible anymore and I could finally see him for who he was, without masks.

He looked so beautiful in his fragility and his weakness that he took so long to reveal.

"That was only the umpteenth cruel thing he said to me. He had always drunk occasionally, but after mt birth, he slowly realized he wasn't capable of being a father, he hardly could be a good fiancee. He cheated on my mother, sometimes he was even yelling at her for the smallest thing. But after my birth, things had gone worst." He stared blankly at his cup his hand still trembled and his voice was so low that it was almost unbearable.

"He began to hit my mother, he began to be jealous and possessive that he would get furious whenever she left home even to go to the grocery shop. One day, my mother brought me to the doctor and she met a gentle doctor who she got close to.

She had never cheated on my father but meeting the doctor, a male who cared for her genuinely and treated her so well, helped her to open her eyes. To realize that she didn't deserve a man like my father and that she could be treated like a real woman.

But that's when my father lost his mind, he couldn't afford to see my mother walk away. So he kidnapped me."

I couldn't hear it anymore, it was so painful to even hear him speaking about his father and mentioning the things he had done. I couldn't even imagine how hard it would be to experience those things. I shivered at the thought.

"He kidnapped me and locked me in an empty cold dark room. I stayed there for days with little no food. Until one day as I laid against the cold rough wall of that room I felt something stinging my back. I passed my hand on it and I deduced it was a nail. I kept passing my hand on the wall when I felt many more nails, they were hanging something.

I stepped on my tips and stretched my hand to get the frame down. Then I waited to hear his footsteps get closer. When he opened the door I managed to lift that huge heavy frame and throw it on him.

However, my efforts didn't go as expected since he managed to stop me before I even lifted that heavy object and punished me with a slap in return. 

He scolded me for rebelling and then told me that the reason why my mother stopped loving him was because of me. He said he got replaced by me." An angry chuckle escaped from his lips. "Isn't it funny!? He saw in a 6 years old kid a potential threat?" He shook his head, filled with frustration and so many more feelings I couldn't even decipher. 

I just could see how he was still suffering from those events and he didn't move on.

I wondered if he could ever be able to move on things like those.