Chapter 99

These words, she has been hidden in the heart, do not want to say, such a cruel reality, she has been reluctant to admit. But tonight, somehow, she suddenly wanted to say it all and let him know. Even after breaking up, she wanted to let him know how she felt.

"I know you and Yao Jing will get married in the future, but I'm still immersed in my own fantasy, dreaming of doing a lot of things with you, going to many places and living happily. These days, I think clearly, how far away is the distance between you and me. So, I don't blame you, no matter what you take me as, I don't blame you. I'm willing to blame myself for everything. I can't see the reality clearly. I blame myself! "

She tried to keep herself calm and try not to let the tears flow.

During this time, she has been thinking about what happened in the past, and these are her conclusions.

"I have been with Han Rui for some time, and everything is as you can see. We have that kind of relationship until I know you."

He said quietly. She didn't look at him.

"When I first met you, what I did to you, I admit that it was not because I loved you or liked you, but because I was bored." He said, and she laughed at herself.

"But the longer I stay with you, I don't know what's wrong with me. It seems that I can't leave you for a moment. If I can't see you every day, I feel empty in my heart. No matter what I do, it's not right. I don't know what kind of feelings it is, because I've never had such an experience, and I've never been so attached to a person as I am now. "

"At this time, I dare not go home. Because no matter where I go, I will always hear your voice and see you. No matter what I do, you will be in front of me. You said, "what should I do?"

He finished and looked at her.

Every word he said affected her mood. She didn't know how to treat him and herself.

She did not answer, still looking at the river.

"I thought that as long as I didn't see you or talk to you, I would forget you and treat you as if I had never seen you before. However, during this period of time, I found that I couldn't do it at all. Fang Xiaoyou, let's start over He took her hand and found it shaking.

She turned to stare at him, his eyes, so sincere, there is no reason for her to doubt.

It turns out that he is the same as himself. But, start again, start what? To maintain that relationship? Or do you have a sneaky relationship? Or to be his lover, to watch him and Yao Jing get married, and to bless them?

The wind at night, so cool!

They don't know what time it is. In fact, it's almost zero the next day.

"Start over? What's the beginning? " She raised her face and looked at him, "let me be with you at ease. Don't give you and Yao Jing any trouble, do you?"

She said, can not help but smile, her smile is so bitter. Today, she is going to be the lover of this man, who can never see the light!

"No!"

Whether it was the light of the night or something else, she felt that she could not see him clearly. Perhaps, even in those beautiful days, she never saw him clearly.

Not to be his lover, what would her identity be?

"Xia Yuchen, I'm tired of guessing your mind like this. I feel so tired." She went to a bench by the side of the road and sat on it.

Once upon a time, two people sat in this chair······

He followed, sitting beside her, trying to hold her hand, but she pushed him away.

"I'm tired, too. When others pushed me in one direction, I thought you would pull me back. Fang Xiaoyou, I want to come back. " He said, resting his head on her shoulder.

She didn't want to look at him. She looked at the river in front of her.

Are you tired? Isn't the road you are going to take exactly what you are going to take? Will someone force you?

She thought so, but did not respond to him.

"Don't leave me, will you?" He took her hand regardless of her evasion, and she knew that resistance was useless, so she let him hold it.

"What do you think I am?" She said suddenly and coldly, and he looked up at her.

"I don't want to see you. I don't even have a difference. I just ignore it. When you want to see me, I'll come out of nowhere and say so many things to keep you. Do you think I'm your dog? When you are in a good mood, hold it and coax it. When you are in a bad mood, kick it away? Xia Yuchen, I am a person, not an animal She said, tears streaming down.

These days, she finally want to understand his role, she is his pet, accompany him to relieve boredom, let him happy. And she can only wait for his gift, waiting for his pity.

Her words made his heart suddenly pinched by something.

What did he think of her? Is she really such a role in her own life?

"Fool, how can it be?" He ran past her and raised his hand to wipe her tears, but she pushed him away.

She wiped away her tears with her hand and looked away, but she didn't want to see him.

"Don't think about it. Let's start all over again, shall we?" He said.

She wry smile, said: "it's impossible, Xia Yuchen, I don't want to do in the past that Fang Xiaoyou, I don't want to be with you, with you."

He dropped his hand and looked at her quietly.

"How can you belittle yourself like this? I never regard you as a pet. I like you and I like being with you. Why don't you understand that? " He said.

There was a sad smile in the corner of her mouth, and she didn't answer him at all.

"You look at me!" In a loud voice, he grabbed her thin shoulder and pulled her over.

"Not a pet? What's that? You don't know, do you? You say you like me, but I really don't understand. I don't understand. While you want to associate with Yao Jing, you say you like me. Xia Yuchen, what kind of person are you

"Who am I, yes, I don't know." He sighed with a bitter smile.

After all, she still loved him. Looking at him like this, she felt all the pain was the same on her body.

She raised her hand and tried to hug him, but she didn't and put it down.

The night is like water, shaking quietly between heaven and earth, shaking people's heart.

"I don't want to marry Yao Jing!" He said, leaning back in his chair.

His tone was so calm, but she didn't know what to think.

If you don't want to, you don't have to do it. She knows that many people are like this. What they think and what they actually do are not necessarily in line with each other.

"These days, I've been thinking about what you said to me when I went out with you. What is the gap between dream and reality? I don't know what I want without you. Every day's regular life is really like sleepwalking without any fluctuation. I don't know whether I'm alive or dead. " He said, holding her hand.

She wanted to take it away, but he held it more tightly.

"You let go --" she said. Instead of letting go, he held her in his arms.

She was afraid that she would fall into his arms and forget everything.

"Come back, I miss you, I miss you!" He said.

She feared that she could not resist his tenderness, and feared that all this would become a bubble after all. Don't look at him.

"With you, I really don't have confidence." She said, gazing quietly at her.

"Not only because of the gap between us, but also because of your behavior. I always tell myself don't care about you and Yao Jing, don't care about how you think of me. Whatever you ask me for, I will do it. I know there is no tomorrow with you, so I try to cherish every moment with you. However, I am really not so strong, I really can not ignore the reality of all

She stopped for a moment and then said, "you said you want to start over, but I don't want to be like I used to be. I love you, even if separated from you, still love you She gave a sour smile, but he seemed very excited, and the hand holding her shoulder made more effort.

"Xia Yuchen, I love you. If you love me, please treat me equally. Don't keep me as a pet. I do not want to look up to you, do not want to always guess your mind, but can not speak. If two people can't be equal, is it still love? "

"Don't I treat you equally? How can you say that. " He looked very unhappy.

"If we are equal, why don't you ever tell me what to do in the future? Why didn't I explain that night at your uncle's? Why -- "

"Are you equal to me? Have you given me a chance to explain to you about Han Rui? You keep saying that you have no sense of security, you have no self-confidence, you are looking up to me, are you looking at me equally? I'm just me, but why do you look at other things like others? " His tone gradually dropped and his mood gradually calmed down.

"I always thought that you are different from others. When I am with you, I don't have to think too much, I can be at ease. Sometimes, I also think, if this life can always have such a calm how good. But why are you so complicated? Why think so much? "

She didn't know that he had been through a lot during this period. She thought that he was enjoying all the benefits of marriage happily. But it was the first time that she saw his look tonight, and it was the first time that he said these words to her. Xia Yuchen, who was proud and conceited, was helpless sometimes.

"I never doubted you, neither did I on the night I was at my uncle's. I know you're a nervous person and won't say "no" to others, but I never doubt that you will betray our feelings