183 I wish it was over LGB

"As much as I know, he returned to the world." Izo runs his fingers through his hair. His heart is acting in an abnormal manner. Heat in his blood is rushing to his cheeks. He can't even say that the cold is making him blush since it's not that cold. Noah's eyes are on him. He can't meet his eyes either. Honestly, he can't stop thinking about the kiss. It didn't… feel bad. But it was a prank. And Noah admitted that he also wanted to kiss Kai. So, he doesn't have feelings for him… not that kind. What about him then? Does he like Noah? No! Noah is a family. "I have already looked for Jin in this area."

Noah sighs. "We should go separately."

"You will come with me!" Izo snaps at him. "Do I not know you? You will try to escape to another world. You are already unwell. Why are you even looking for Jin?"

"Kai said that I have a true mate," Noah replies, trying to sound normal. The awkwardness in the air is too tense. He can barely breathe. Now that he has confessed, he wants to say more. His heart isn't any lighter. But Izo will hate him if he says more. He has barely managed to save their friendship and brotherhood with lies. "I wanted to ask Jin how to find him. Once I find my mate, I… won't feel lonely and kiss anyone with lips."

"..." 

"I am sorry again." Noah bows his head. "Really sorry."

"You didn't say sorry to Kai though." Izo grabs Noah's hair. Hard. This boy is making him angry. He wants to beat Noah for kissing him and then kissing Kai. He is angry, although he doesn't want to bother with reasons behind his anger. Some things shouldn't be dug up. "I told you that it's alright. It was just a kiss. What's the big deal?"

It's not a big deal? Noah's heart sinks further. Izo doesn't feel anything for him at all. "It's Kai. He will forget about kissing in no time. He can't even remember whether he ate a day ago or not."

"You are right." Izo releases Noah's hair. Something is bothering him. "What's this about true mates?"

"Kai did some experiments." Noah fixes his hair with his fingers, keeping his eyes fixed on a tree. "He said that all of us have true mates. Klyn found his true mate and then, Kai also found one. King has a true mate too. If I am correct, Jin will also find his true mate soon. What if we also have one? I want to find mine."

Maybe then… he can get over his feelings for Izo."

"Are you an idiot?" Izo finally lets go of his wrist. "Do you want to believe in some stupid experiments? Out of 100 experiments, only one of his experiments has a good result. I don't want to remember how many times he failed. Don't believe him. You don't have a true mate."

Noah stares at him. "Why?"

"But we believed that the king didn't have one either. Then, the queen showed up." Noah furrows his brows. "What if I do have one, Brother Izo? I don't want to spend my eternity alone. I want to experience love. I want someone to care about me… and want me. I know that I am acting like a fool, but how long can I live like this? Would everyday become somewhat easy if there is someone who makes it easy to breathe? Even if the world is in chaos, we can pass through that chaos if we have someone like that."

Izo hates the idea of true mates now. He doesn't understand why Noah wants one. Before he realises what he is saying, he asks Noah, "Am I not enough?"

"You?" Noah widens his eyes. "Well… You…"

How can Izo not be enough? He is even better than a true mate. Noah loves him. 

What the hell did he say? A brother or a friend can't take the place of a true mate. It's too late to take back the words now. Izo lets out a sigh. "You will find your true mate when the time is right. Maybe the person is very close to you or the person might be born after some time. We never know. Klyn and Nami are immortals, but Nami met him only a while ago. The queen has been in this world for nearly three decades, but she met the king only when it was time for them to meet. Kai was able to summon his mate's soul from the ancient era today. Jin is blindly chasing his instinct to find his true mate, and I hope that he finds his true mate this time. So, you don't have to look for your true mate blindly.."

Noah nods his head. "I am sorry. I have been acting emotionally because I saw how Klyn found his true mate too. I am envious of the love that they have… I wish it was over. I don't want to feel this way."

He casts his gaze downwards sullenly. How can he believe Kai's experiments? It's wishful thinking that everyone will have a true mate. If he has a true mate for real, he wants Izo to be his true mate. If a miracle must happen, he wants Izo to have feelings for him. He wants to love Izo and be loved by him. He doesn't even want something grand. Just… Izo. 

Seeing the devastatingly lonely look on Noah's face, Izo feels a pang in his heart. Something weighs down on his soul. He doesn't know what it is. He has never felt like this before. Noah has always been close to him. He is more than a brother or a friend. Then, why did he never sense that Noah can also feel such painful loneliness? Has he been ignorant of Noah's true feelings? 

Noah has never let him feel lonely, but Noah has been suffering like this. He hasn't been a good friend or a good brother to Noah.