323 "We."

Katherine's resistance to Damien's advances was useless. Despite trying to distance herself from him, she just couldn't resist being lured in, allowing herself to just indulge in the luxurious feeling of being loved back by the man she loved.

Being with him was easy. But it was also difficult at the same time.

It wasn't just the matter of them sharing the same intensity of love for each other. It was more than that. And Katherine's wants and needs were in conflict with her thoughts, all because of feeling guilty towards her past. This wasn't some petty feeling that she could just shrug off and it would just go away. The unpleasant feeling had been burning in her stomach, brewing like a high-quality drink, waiting to be spilled onto herself to remind her of what she was 'not supposed' to do or to feel.

She loved him. She really did. And that's her heart speaking.

But her mind was not letting her let go of the ill thoughts. There's a reason why the brain's position is higher than the heart's. Because even though you feel so much, your brain still ends up making the decision.

So was Katherine strong enough to withstand this trial? Could she allow herself to love without restraint once again? Would she give herself the chance?

While she had all these thoughts in her head, Damien's soft caress on her back was like his way of soothing himself too. He was the one doing long and warm strokes but it was as though the gesture was mostly for him. As if he was reminding himself that Katherine was there with him… that he wasn't alone. That even though meeting his mother was not how he thought it would be—not to mention learning about his mother's background—that he was still okay. That he was going to be okay because Katherine was there with him.

Only if she wouldn't run away from him again.

"How did you know it was me?" he asked. His voice was low above her head.

Her eyes were closed but after hearing his question, they slowly opened and she thought about what he meant as she heard him add, "That night… years ago. How did you know it was me? Why didn't you recognize me before you lost your memories? But then recognized me that day you left…"

Katherine pulled back so that she could look him in the eye, feeling the need to do so. "I didn't know back then… Maybe because it happened a really long time ago that I may have forgotten some details about that night. But the day that I learned that the Parks were involved, and I knew you… I just thought the puzzle fits. Maybe because I know more of you now and have seen you in so many more ways so much that when I started remembering things… That day a couple of months ago, you appeared right after I remembered that night and I just knew. I don't know how to explain it."

"Is that why you left? You knew… that my family had something to do that night. Did you end up hating me, that's why you left?"

She briefly closed her eyes and took a deep breath before releasing it and then she answered, "Sort of… I was all kinds of things at that moment. I was afraid… scared… angry… overwhelmed… Remembering who I was, my first instinct was to flee. And learning how you were there and that you were involved that night… my parents… me surviving… It was too much. I couldn't be with you. I just had to leave."

Damien didn't say anything as he felt that she still had so much to say, so he patiently waited for her to continue.

"The things I did… I remembered all the things I have done before I lost my memory. I couldn't deal with myself. It was like… I was under a spell that I couldn't get out of. I was miserable, guilty, ashamed, and just hurt for everything that happened to me. I guess running away was how I thought I could protect myself. And I admit, I hated you for a while… but I mostly hated you because I hated myself."

"Do you still hate yourself?" Damien wondered. She was feeling that way while she was away and he was feeling the same thing about himself. What happened between them and what happened in the past caused them to feel somewhat the same guilt and reason to not want to be with each other.

Going to therapy sessions, although he withheld information from his therapist, he was starting to realize that the guilt he was feeling was natural but it shouldn't be that way… because he saved her life. Regardless of his connections with his family's underground business, he ended up doing something else that night of the tragedy. 

And for that, he shouldn't be guilty. Which was why when he showed up to her 'Welcome Home Party', he had planned to be mad at her… however the moment he laid his eyes on her again after not seeing her for a while, the only thing he could think of was to run to her and beg her to come back to him. He was being selfish. And he just couldn't help himself.

"Maybe… I don't know… I guess," she said in a whisper.

"Katherine…" Damien brushed her hair away from her face, his thumb stroking her cheek as he said, "People aren't only good or bad. There's no black and white only. People do bad things but that doesn't define who they are as a whole. You and I can do better. Maybe not the ultimate good… but at least, we can do better."

She matched his stare and held it, wondering how it was possible for his beautiful head to have this beautiful brain. "You know… you make me start to wonder if you're an immortal who has lived for thousands of years with that big brain of yours. You sound like an old person."

His hearty laugh tickled her heart, warming up her body. She had the urge to embrace him and so she did, burying her face onto his chest and feeling it rumble. It was such a wonderful feeling. After a while of silence, she let out a long sigh.

"What's on your mind?" he probed.

"I'm just thinking…" she mumbled against his chest, taking her time as she thought of different scenarios in her head. "I'm just thinking about what my next steps would be… What am I supposed to do now?"

Katherine felt Damien's long sigh above her head. The sound made her think that he was exasperated and she was going to get a scolding. She grimaced and pulled back with a worried look.

"We." His voice was cold and stern as though there was no room for negotiation.

But she didn't understand what he meant. "What?"

Staring at her right in the eyes, Damien told her, "What are 'we' supposed to do now. From now on, there's no you or I. It's 'We'. I'm not letting you handle this on your own. This isn't a negotiation. We're doing this together."