Chapter 140 - The Men In Her Life

When Bai Mu Chuan drove his silver Aston Martin to the garage in Yu palace, it was already ten in the night.

He glanced at the frail silhouette sitting lifelessly in the shotgun seat. The moment he picked Li Juan up from the hotel lobby, she was immersed in her own world,

When Bai Mu Chuan got a call from Li Juan inquiring whether he can come and pick her up from Yun mountain valley, he never expected to find her sitting alone in the hotel lobby in tears. Since he didn't see Tang Wei Sheng next to her, he could vaguely figure out that something must have happened with the couple.

"Jie," Bai Mu Chuan shook Li Juan's shoulders to wake her up from the dazed state, "We have reached,"

Li Juan turned towards him with a faint smile and stepped down from the car after picking her bags.

"Jie, let me help you," He took one of the bags from her and walked her to the bedroom.

"Good night, ah Chuan," Li Juan said to the Youngman who stood next to her like a statue, however instead of replying to her, Bai Mu Chuan throw his arms over and closed her in an embrace.

"Goodnight," He said in a low voice and let her go,

Li Juan was a bit puzzled by his actions, unlike her other cousins, Bai Mu Chuan appeared silent and reserved. She didn't expect a warm gesture from him, helping her to ease her tense mind,

"It is nice to have a family," 

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Zhang Zhi Jun was about to go to bed when a faint knock heard from outside. He swept a glance across the digital clock, it was turning midnight.

Who is visiting at this time? He opened the door in doubt and found Li Juan standing at his doorstep, a thick-framed glass resting on her face, clutching a small notebook.

"First brother," She called him in an elated tone and immediately sized up the man who was in his sleep wears,

"Yes, queen," Zhang Zhi Jun replied in an almost surprised voice. During her stay at Yu palace, Li Juan never made an effort to visit his room. What brings her here, late in the night?

"Were you sleeping?" She sounded apologetic, "Did I disturb your rest?"

"No, I wasn't sleeping, what happened?"

"Are you free now? Can I come in?" 

"Please," Zhang Zhi Jun let her in and closed the door as Li Juan took a seat on the sofa, 

"What do you want to talk about?" Zhang Zhi Jun asked her as soon as he sat opposite to the sofa, carelessly crossing his legs, maintaining his usual graceful posture and calmness on his face.

"I was unable to fall asleep, so I thought I will come and visit you," 

Really? Then what is with the book and the reading glasses? The corners of Zhang Zhi Jun's eyes perked as he thought inwardly.

"I actually wanted to ask you something," Li Juan straightened her back as if she is going to talk some business details with him. "You should keep this is a secret between us,"

"Sure," He replied in the same tone,

"Do you like me?" 

"Well, who doesn't like the queen?" 

His quick answer made Li Juan re-check her purpose of visit, "Let me rephrase it," She cleared her throat and met with his ocean-deep eyes, which bewitched every single woman in C country.

"Do you like me as a woman?"

Zhang Zhi Jun raised one of his eyebrows and looked at her with a puzzled face,

"Did someone approach you to ask these questions to me? Or did you picked up the hobby of paparazzi blogging?" Humour rippling in his face,

"I wasn't joking,"

"I was," He chuckled and continued, "Why are you being so tense?"

Li Juan took a deep breath and sat cross-legged on the sofa, "Fine now?"

Zhang Zhi Jun smiled and nodded in agreement, "So majesty, what do you want to know?" Watching Li Juan being deadly serious he decided to tease her a bit, "The truth or the lie?"

"Tell me both," 

"I like you and I love you,"

Li Juan stared at him for a moment and asked, "Can you elaborate?"

Zhang Zhi Jun felt like laughing. He clearly knew that for Li Juan, he will remain as a stranger, but that doesn't stop him from confessing his feelings to her. The old Li Juan at least acknowledged him as a suitor, but this girl, it is a tiresome process to melt her frosty demeanour.

"I was so smitten by you that I literally searched for your face on every single place I've gone in the past five years. I wrote songs for you and hoped that you will get to know the feelings which I had for you. I roamed around your campus that so that one day or another I will run on to you. There were moments where I cursed gods for letting me come to your life at the wrong time. I loved you so much that at one point, I had given up on my own feelings so that you could stay happy." Zhang Zhi Jun concluded and gazed at the woman who was staring back at him with incredulous disbelief,

When Li Juan heard about her cousin is also in the suitor's list, she didn't give much thought about it. However, after listening to Zhang Zhi Jun, she could sense the affection and sincerity laced in his words.

Was that confession?

"Oh my god, what did I do to you?" Li Juan woke up from her thoughts and shook her head, "What did I do to you?"

"One night on a drunken state, you kissed me and we almost-" He shamelessly went on,

"Cough, cough," Li Juan choked upon hearing his words, "I am sorry,"

"Why are you saying sorry? I am an actor and usually kiss many women on screen. It is not a big deal," Zhang Zhi Jun chortled when he saw her reaction,

"So why are you asking me all these questions and what the heck are you noting down?

Li Juan immediately closed the book and sat straight,

"I was planning to tell you something," She bit her lips in hesitation, "about the suitors...it is too odd to ask, but can we not get married?" 

There was visible confusion in Zhang Zhi Jun's face when Li Juan's voice reached him. 

Watching his dazed expression, Li Juan shut her eyes and tossed the question at him, "You and me, can we not get married?" 

An austere silence filled the space between with them,

"Did you think about marrying me?" Zhang Zhi Jun asked her directly, his eyes glittering in joy. "Do I stand a chance against those two? 

"I told the same to them," Li Juan said with downcasted eyes, as she fidgeted with the pen, "I turned down them and probably going to do the same with you,"

"Wait a minute," Zhang Zhi Jun's eyebrows creased together as he contemplated over her sentence,

"I was sure that you are going to turn me down...but what about them? One of them is your boyfriend and other is your best friend," Zhang Zhi Jun opened both of his palms as if he heard something unbelievable,

"Two reasons," She pointed by raising her fingers,

"One, I am not in a stable mental stage where I can think about getting married and settle. Two, there are so many things bugging my mind and it's a tiring process for me to choose someone to marry,"

"What is it? What is bugging you?

"There is a guy,"

"There. is. another. guy?" Zhang Zhi Jun enunciated each word with as his eyes filled with bewilderment, how many men are in her life?

"Listen to me first," Li Juan's face gained a serious expression. 

"When I had the accident everyone thought that I lost my memories, but I actually gained a few of my old memories,"

Zhang Zhi Jun appeared clueless, as he listened more to Li Juan's claims,

"Actually, I did some detailed study about my medical condition and found something," Li Juan walked over to sit next to him and opened the book she carried with her.

"I had two major amnesic periods. First one was 8 years ago when I was 18 years old. I totally forgot who I am and what happened to me. For almost six months I have been in temporary amnesia and practically lived in the hospital since the injury affected my speech and motor abilities. And once I got my memories back, I forgot about the six months which have I spent in the hospital. Maybe I was afraid of another memory loss, so after that, I started to keep a record of important events that happened in my life. If my calculations are correct, right now I am going through a second amnesic period," She explained as she pointed out the little figures and scribblings on the book,

" I used to believe that I forgot about the last eight years which includes my last year of school, my university life, however, I am recently getting a few glimpses of the time I spent in the hospital,"

"So," Zhang Zhi Jun asked her as she finished,

"I might get back my memories and there are chances that I might forget these days,"

"So is that why you are hesitating to get married?" Zhang Zhi Jun asked her, unable to find some other inference, what he just heard.

"My life is a mess," Li Juan hung her head in her hand, "Especially my love life. There are too many men in my life. And honestly, I have no idea what I was doing with all these men.

There is Tang Wei Sheng whom I used to love in high school, but he left me and went abroad.

When I was in S city, I had that accident, during my hospital life I kind of dated a resident doctor guy. unfortunately, I forgot about him. And went back to square one, which is Tang Wei Sheng.

During my college days, I had a huge crush on a boy who broke my glasses and practically swooned over him,

Then Tang Wei Sheng returned to C country. We met again and patched up things, but soon after we broke up.

Maybe because of that I almost confessed to a doctor," Li Juan quickly gave him a brief description of what she found from the journals.

"That's it?" Zhang Zhi Jun asked to confirm.

"Should I count the suitors too?" Li Juan asked, "Then, there is you and Guan Tae Yang,"

"Six guys? Or is there anyone else to add?" Zhang Zhi Jun asked her half-jokingly.

Li Juan shook her head in denial,

"Well, I appreciate your efforts but your data is not accurate," He smiled softly as he watched Li Juan's conflicted face. "You can strike out that guy who broke your glasses,"

"Huh, should I not include crushes?" 

"That was me," Zhang Zhi Jun declared as he beamed with a proud face,

"Your name is Zhang Zhi Jun," Li Juan asked in doubt, "and you know me before coming here?"

"Yes. We met while you were in college. I am glad to know that you actually liked me in your college days," His face gleaming in pure bliss,

Li Juan gnashed her teeth in disappointment, does that mean she missed to add some details to the journals?

"This is why I told you that I can't choose anyone. What if some other guy pops up tomorrow and claims that I am his child's mother or something?" Li Juan pulled her hair,

"Hmmm, so what are you planning to do now?" Zhang Zhi Jun swept a glance at the woman who is sitting on his bed with a confused face, her plump lips turned into a cute pout,

"Tang Wei Sheng and I are over now,"

"You guys broke up again?" Zhang Zhi Jun's didn't even care to hide the happiness in his face, "But why?"

"Hmm, it is too complicated to explain," She let out a sigh, " I should find whether something happened between me and those doctors," Li Juan said with a determined face,

"I thought the role of second lead in your story will be mine but it seems like there is going to be strong competition for that,"

"I used to think that I am not that attractive, but it seems like that I have exceeded my own expectations in dating," Li Juan turned the pages with self-contempt sneer,

"Uffo your researcher's brain.. give me this," He snatched the notebook from her, "You are over complicating things. What you have found, it may not be true always..so ditch all these data. It is totally fine to date as many as you want before settling with the right person," He tried to pacify her.

"It is not about getting married and settling. I don't know whether you will be able to understand, the way my presence affected Tang Wei Sheng's life almost turned him insane. I don't want to ruin anyone's life...anymore," Li Juan's shoulders drooped as she tried to hide her guilt-stricken face. "What if I hurt someone in the past?"

"If you are so troubled with your past, then go and meet them all," Zhang Zhi Jun suggested with a smile. With the time spent with her, he realized Li Juan's estrange personality.

"What you want me to do now?" He asked,

"Help me to convince grandpa, that I am not ready for this whole betrothal thing, I seriously don't have anyone else is ask help. First brother, please help me," Li Juan grabbed his palm and requested,

Zhang Zhi Jun could not help but blame the heavens for his twisted fate, this woman, why he cannot have her? Why must he let her go?

He wished to refuse, but couldn't stop himself from agreeing to her request,

"Fine, I will talk to Grandpa,"