CH 68

[T/N: This is the last chapter  If you don’t like listening to music while reading, kindly skip this part. But those who like, please listen to ‘Your Lie In April – Again’ I felt like listening to this while translating this final chapter. Thanks for being here for so long, and huge thanks for the support you all have given!

P.S. There are side stories after the Q&A.]

***

It was a moonlit winter night. As soon as he heard rustling in the grass, Ian got out of bed and opened the window. There was no creature more dangerous than a cat or chick on this small island, but he was easily awakened by the slightest sound.

There was no one outside. Only a cold wind came pouring in. He thought about going outside to look around the garden, but then he decided he was overreacting and went back to bed.

Still, once he awoke, he seldom went back to sleep until dawn. Regardless, he was much better than when he was in the Capital. The number of nightmares had decreased. He sometimes had good dreams. It was the kind of dream he didn’t want to wake up from.

The plot was the same every time. The moment he opened his eyes, wheat-colored hair tickled his face. He knew it was all a momentary illusion, but each time he reached out and hugged Rosen as she magically returned to his side.

He had a lot to ask. Rosen, in his fantasy, just smiled and didn’t speak. Even though he knew an answer would not come back, he asked questions after question, almost like an interrogation.

‘Did you arrive safely on the island?’

‘Is it cold there?’

‘Are you living peacefully with Emily, whom you wanted to meet so much?’

‘Are you happy now…?’

And with a childish mind, he asked a few selfish things.

‘Did you forget me because you are happy?’

‘Do you want to see me, too?’

‘Do you think about me… sometimes?’

In fact, if it ended there, there wouldn’t be much of a problem. Because dreams were manifestations of unconsciousness, he couldn’t bring himself to speak during his waking hours. The mind that contained it could not harm anyone. 

The problem was…

Knowing it was a dream, he became rather honest about his desire. He had no self-control.

The moment Rosen Walker smiled at him as he bombarded her with questions, he hardened like an idiot. He hugged Rosen and lay down on the bed, feeling her body temperature, taking off their clothes and kissing Rosen’s exposed skin. By the time his breath rose, and heat took hold of his body, he was invariably fully awake.

And he fell into a sense of shame as if he had become an insane pervert. After the sense of shame subsided, bleak loneliness set in. Like being in a warm spring, then being thrown into an icy lake.

***

As the dreams that haunted him in a different way than nightmares repeated, he went to the only doctor on the island and asked for medicine.

“I need a sleeping herb prescription.”

“Officer, never again! Do not consume more than the amount of sleeping herb you are currently taking! I’m really amazed that the officer hasn’t become an addict. I don’t know if you have great willpower or an overly strong body, but live your life thanking God. Are you crazy? How many years have you voluntarily used this poisonous powder without a doctor’s prescription?”

The doctor was adamant. Ian had always respected the opinions of experts in other fields, but he still had to give it another try.

“Because it is necessary.”

“Have your nightmares gotten worse?”

“No. It’s not a bad dream… just a strange one.”

“Then that’s all right. What kind of dream is it?”

Ian gave up seeking medical help. He would rather have his mouth sewn shut than tell the truth.

“It is normal to have dreams, unless they are suffocating nightmares. All people are like that.”

“…”

“Isn’t that proof that you’re getting better?”

***

There was another knock on the window. The sound woke him from his dirty thoughts. It became clear that the presence outside was not a cat.

Before he went back to sleep, he grabbed his pistol from a drawer and went to the window. But when he opened the window, he hastily hid the pistol behind his back. A group of children carrying gas lamps, wrapped in mufflers, were staring at him.

The people of Primrose had long since withdrawn their attention from him, but children were the exception. It wasn’t exactly an interest in him, but an interest in the plane he had…

Ian frowned and scolded the children.

“Why are you out at night? Go home quickly. Your parents are worried.”

“We are exploring the forest.”

“Do it during the day.”

“What fun is it doing it during the day?”

“What are you doing in front of my house?”

The children clung to the window and hesitated. He made a scary face telling them to go home quickly, but the kids weren’t even afraid of him in the first place. Ian soon realized the real purpose of the children gathering in front of his house.

“Officer, can you give us a ride?”

Ian sighed and tried to close the window, but the children showed no signs of backing down.

“No.”

“Why?”

“No way. Go back. There is no room for you.”

“We picked the order by drawing lots!”

“I never said I would give you a ride.”

Cries erupted, but Ian firmly shook his head. He knew how much the neighborhood kids would bother him the moment he gave the group a lift. He thought about it, but there should be no exceptions. He knew from experience how quickly principles lost their force the moment an exception was made.

Then a sharp voice broke out from among the crowd of children.

“If you don’t give us a ride, we won’t run your errands.”

“I don’t remember asking you guys to run errands.”

“Someone other than the officer ordered it.”

“Where?”

“There.”

A girl pointed to the entrance to the garden along the gas-lit path.

“Who is it in the middle of the night?”

“I won’t tell you if you don’t give us a ride.”

“What is the order?”

“If you don’t take us on the plane, we won’t say.”

No one ever came to visit him in the middle of the night. Henry had just left on a boat to the mainland. No outsiders came unless it was on the monthly cargo ship or a noisy plane.

“If you lie, I won’t take you on the plane.”

“I’m not lying! Two women are really looking for the officer!”

The girl shouted in a fit of anger. Soon, other testimonies poured out here and there as if it was unfair to be falsely accused of lying.

“They are both girls! They asked us where the officer’s house was!”

“How did they look?”

“I don’t remember very well! I think one was blonde… ”

“Hey, you can’t tell him everything!”

Ian got up from his seat. Before he could even think, his body moved. He spilt the glass of water on his desk, but left it and hurriedly put on a coat. The children stopped him with a look of bewilderment at his violent reaction.

“I think they are a bit strange. She said she came to tell an eternal lie to the officer.”

Ian opened the front door. 

He started running.

“Anyway, since we ran your errands, are you giving us a ride?”

The children shouted loudly. Ian nodded roughly and ran into the moonlit garden. Leaves crunched under his feet, and bugs chirped in the grass. However, despite the children’s words, the garden was quiet. Desperately, he searched the garden’s shady nooks and crannies, but found no one.

He had to return home after a few hours with a broken heart. The children that had gathered outside the window had already gone home.

He hung up his coat, gazed out the window at the sea, and sat down at the desk. There was still plenty of time before dawn. In the end, he had to spend the night with an awake mind. He sighed and closed the curtains to avoid seeing the sea.

A house overlooking the sea. 

On a clear day, you could see far beyond the horizon, and he imagined an island somewhere beyond that.

‘Ah, I guess it was just the children’s misunderstanding.’

‘Or is this moment also a dream?’

If it was a dream, it was worse than a nightmare. 

He was overly joyful, overly hopeful.

He didn’t think there had been many days when he desperately needed sleep as much as today. He sat on the bed and laid himself down to force himself into a sleep that would probably never come. He wanted to sleep peacefully, but today didn’t seem to be the day.

“Hi, Ian.”

Then someone jumped out of the blanket and hugged him tightly. He shuddered and withdrew, but the hand that gripped his waist wouldn’t let go. Wheat-colored hair fell in front of his eyes. Soon, her hand hugged the nape of his neck, and warm lips touched his.

It was Rosen Walker.

“Long time no see. How have you been?”

Ian blinked, unable to believe the scenery in front of him, and slowly pushed Rosen away. He had many strange dreams. So he knew that the bigger the gap between fantasy and reality, the more painful it would be when he woke up again.

Rosen was talking. This vision was even asking a question first. Many of the questions he wanted to ask were forgotten when the opportunity presented itself.

This wasn’t right. 

It was so vivid.

“What’s wrong with your expression? You didn’t want to see me? I thought you would like it very much…”

“If it’s a dream, I’d rather wake up now.”

“What nonsense are you spouting?”

“I would feel so empty when I wake up. If it’s a dream, please go.”

But Rosen did not disappear. Rather, she stared at him with an expression that did not know how to handle this situation.

“Wow, that’s ridiculous. Do you know how much I struggled to qualify to leave Walpurgis Island? But what do you say as soon as you see me? Please go?”

“…”

“How on earth can I prove that I am real? If I knew this would happen, I wouldn’t have come in through the window, but through the door normally. And knocked.”

“…”

“Shall I try again? Will you believe me then?”

Rosen made a tearful face and showed off the muffler wrapped around her neck. It was the red muffler he had wrapped around her when they parted. As the feel of the wool touched his face, his sense of reality returned. It was then that Ian Kerner realized that he had been acting like an idiot.

This wasn’t a dream, the real Rosen Walker was in front of him. 

Rosen, whose blood circulated, breathed, and moved. 

His prisoner, the Empire’s greatest liar and the escaped prisoner no one would ever catch.

“I love you. I can say it with confidence now. I’m back to say that. We promised to meet again.”

Ian didn’t hesitate this time and hugged Rosen tightly. The window blew in cold air, but the house was warmer than ever. They hugged each other for a very long time.

“Emily is outside. Can I ask her to come in?”

“Yes.”

“Pour us a cup of tea, too. It was cold on our way here.”

“Yes.”

“Yes! Is there anything else you can say?”

“I missed you. Thank you for coming back.”

Ian Kerner laughed. Suddenly, the Emperor’s words passed through his head.

-‘The fall of a hero.’ A fall… This doesn’t sound like a very good headline. Because I’m looking at your expression right now. Their choice of words is poor.

To be honest, Ian didn’t quite understand what that meant at the time. But now he knew.

He remembered the moment when he was gliding slowly down a long sandy beach in a plane that had run out of fuel. It was the most thrilling moment on a plane. It was different from a fall. Because he knew that a safe landing was waiting for him at the end of the long runway.

In fact, the most pleasant moment for a pilot was not the flight itself, but when he finally returned to Earth. 

To the land he loved and wanted to protect.

This was definitely a landing, not a crash.