Story 9 - Nothing Bad Ever Happens at the Alchemy Convention (8)

Story 9 - Nothing Bad Ever Happens at the Alchemy Convention (8)

I narrowed my eyes at the silly nerds. “The topic you all chose was — how to overcome a bottleneck in your alchemy...”

While a significant number were Foundation Establishment cultivators, most of them were at Golden Core. Several who had gathered to listen to Pill Otaku and White Lily discuss their current troubles were even at Nascent Soul... and they wanted us — practitioners weaker or equal to them — to talk about how to achieve breakthroughs.

Were these guys fucking joking?

Obviously, I could do it, but if I was a normal Foundation Establishment brat, I’d be fucked.

Well, more than likely, the cultivators at my current realm had bottlenecks and those experts stronger than them had disciples they wanted to instruct. Part of what a good lecturer needed to do was take in who their audience was and cater the lecture to them. With such a mix of strengths, the content had to be useful for all realms and skill levels.

The subject was, thankfully, broad enough that I wouldn’t have to dumb things down for the lower realms or add higher-level concepts to keep the Nascent Soul experts occupied.

Violet grinned sadistically at me. She would assume that, with her advanced age, she’d have the upper hand. It didn’t help that her realm was higher than mine. Cultivators respected power, after all.

But there was more to power than personal strength. If there wasn’t, then all those young masters that showed up in every Xianxia, wouldn’t be able to walk sideways and get away with it.

“You both agreed to an incense stick’s worth of time,” Lina said.nove(l)bi(n.)com

Fortunately, I didn’t have to lecture on something that might show that I was a time traveler.

I began by using secret sound transmission to speak to the left ear of every cultivator in the crowd and Violet Pill Fairy. This came out to around a hundred people. But I did one more thing — I brought out my earthen flame pillar from the space and placed my cauldron on top. Next, I set up a prep table with the already arranged plants I’d prepared to teach Little Spring the other day.

This was because I believed an alchemy lecture should always incorporate practical alchemy, even when it was on something as obscure as bottleneck breakthroughs.

Watching thousands of videos online in my past-past life helped me come up with my lecture process. For instance, when discussing strange topics, I would add visuals, even if they were unrelated.. like a video about relationship nightmares that was basically an AI voice talking over someone playing Minecraft.

For this lecture, I decided to show my skill level by concocting the hardest pill an alchemist at Foundation Establishment could create within the time limit — the Presence Scattering Obfuscation Dan. This was a life-saving pill that, when crushed and scattered over a person, could, for two minutes, temporarily hide their presence from someone in the Nascent Soul realm or below.

Of course, after use, it wouldn’t work on the same cultivator for a full day, so it was best to only use it in an emergency... It also didn’t work against beasts. That required a different pill.

I used the split mind technique. Part of my mind listened to Violet’s lecture, two more focused on concocting the batch of pills, and my final available part recalled a brief lecture I’d given. Once I gathered my thoughts, I threw the first plant inside and began my speech.

“Breaking through a bottleneck sounds so easy, doesn’t it? But it never is. Who here hasn’t struggled with some pill recipe that just wouldn’t work? Perhaps it was something you needed to reach the next small realm along your Dao? Or maybe your teacher showed you a technique that looked so easy, but when you tried, you found it impossible?” I threw in a Spiked Red Ginseng. “I know tricks and tips that will make things easier on yourself. And if you don’t believe me, consider who my master is.”

Violet hid her mouth behind a fan and secretly sent me a sneer before she began her own teachings. “Bottlenecks are something I have experienced far more by this point in my cultivation than every person in this audience, especially my opponent. She might be an Immortal’s disciple, but how long could she have learned from him? Three years? Four, maybe? What matters the most here is experience, and I have that!”

Bitch. She threw shade at me first rather than start her lecture. And she used something currently beyond my control, my body’s age. The stupidest part was that it worked! Most of the audience slightly tilted their heads or looked to the right to better listen to her.

Hell, even most of the Nascent Soul cultivators who had just listened to me give advice to Pill Otaku glanced in Violet’s direction.

If my body had been an adult’s instead of a tall twelve-year-old girl’s, I knew these nerds wouldn’t pay her any mind! At this rate, they would never believe I was more capable than them, since cultivators in the mortal realm still aged. This meant that it was nearly impossible to see a powerful master appear as young as me!

Frankly, I should have seen this coming, but it had been less than a handful of years to my perspective since I'd been treated like the ancestor I was. Then I was inside the sect for a whole year where I was given the respect I deserved. All this and my irritation with Violet had led me to not take into consideration how people outside would treat someone so young, especially when I was so obviously brilliant.

The Con assistants swiftly traveled through the crowd briefly speaking with each person who had been there from the beginning. Once they finished Lina walked toward the two of us. “There were 103 people listening from the beginning. Nine refused to say or admitted to paying attention to both lectures evenly, leaving 94. Of that number...” Lina paused. Her trademark smile grew even more professional, which I didn’t think was possible. “Well, this is interesting.”

Come on Lina, there was no need to stall. By the end, everyone listened to my lecture. A few people even looked like they’d stab someone near their eye to know what kind of hand seal I used to remove the pills from the cauldron.

Violet crossed her arms and smirked as if she knew she’d won. Ha!



Lina glanced at each of us. “The winner is... both of you!” Her professional smile relaxed a little. “It was a tie.”

No! How could I tie with that clickbait-shitting merchant?! Unless a few audience members just refused to listen to a twelve-year-old... which might be possible because mature and successful individuals were highly respected. Fuck!

Frankly, if Violet’s expression wasn’t more furious than mine, I would assume the bitch had bribed Lina.

She started arguing with the assistant, which was a mistake. Con assistants would help an attendee, but they weren’t servants. They had no obligation to do what anyone wanted.

And that was when movement in the distance caught my eye. Little Spring ran over to Peak Master Enduring Flame just like I told him to if something happened.

The kid started making wild gestures I couldn’t decipher and was obviously speaking to him using our telepathic technique.

What happened?

“Since you both won, why don’t you share the lecture hall like you just did and split the payment evenly?” Lina made a reasonable suggestion.

“Share lecture times with... my esteemed fellow alchemist?” Her Lips twitched. “That would be inappropriate.”

Violet, being the greedy bitch she was, probably thought sharing would give her hard-won spirit stones to the enemy.

But my attention was once again drawn to Little Spring who stopped talking. He pointed in a direction. Both Enduring Flame and Five Leaves Medicine shared a serious look, then the two vanished.

Well, shit. If the problem needed two Immortal Bone Creation experts, then we all might be fucked!

::Do we need to evacuate the island?:: I sent a message to Little Spring.

He shrugged. He fucking shrugged.

::It might be nothing.::

::...::

It might be nothing, he said. The goddamn main character. Nothing...

Maybe I was too paranoid but I was ready to grab everyone from our sect and hang out near the emergency exits. Of course, that was when Violet said something she shouldn’t have.

“I don’t understand how my lecture could be less informative than this brat’s!”