Story 9 - Nothing Bad Ever Happens at the Alchemy Convention (6)

Story 9 - Nothing Bad Ever Happens at the Alchemy Convention (6)

As I turned, the first person I noticed was Violet, my old enemy. A white pill beast was wrapped around her shoulders like a scarf. Now and then, it would move slightly, and she’d stroke its head to calm it.

The bitch had a small group of cultivators surrounding her, the most prominent being a powerful Immortal Bone Creation man who casually walked with his hands behind his back like a happy grandfather. The white-haired old man wore ivory robes with delicate embroidered leaf patterns and sage trimming. I knew I’d seen this expert before, but I couldn’t place him. Either way, I had a feeling that Violet made it into the convention because of him.

A boy with a familiar face walked just in front of them and excitedly bounced with every step. He was at the peak of Qi Condensation and around the same middle-grader-age as Little Spring, with bluish-black hair and upturned azure eyes.

There were also two Foundation Establishment girls who wore white robes with blue trimming, similar in style to the boy, showing that they came from the same sect. These two were practically bending over to fawn over Violet like she was their grandmother.

She must have sensed my gaze on her group because she turned toward us. Her eyes burned with fury for a second before someone from the convention crowd passed between us. The next time I saw her, she laughed at something the elder said. Then she subtly headed in our direction.

With her here and looking for a fight, my hopes for a peaceful vacation went up in cauldron smoke.

Pill Otaku leaned in a little. “In the guide they gave us, her lecture topic seems to be about a formula she solved. Its title is, How to Approach Solving Alchemical Problems.”

Actually, that sounded like the less specific, generic version of my lecture, How to Produce Less Expensive Prescriptions Using Abundant Local Plants.

“That can’t be right.” Since I’d last seen her, it would be impossible for her to solve a unique alchemical issue significant enough to get invited here. The bitch wasn’t that smart. I mean, she was a genius, but only when it came to making profits and perfecting pills. She had only developed the cure for the plague in my previous life because she’d worked with the demonic cultivator who created it, not because she was adept at inventing new prescriptions.

“Alchemist Violet Pill greets Senior Ruthless Divine Medicine and Senior White Lily,” Violet said. Once they nodded in acknowledgment, she turned to me. “And if it isn’t Little Fairy Lin? The supposed genius who created the cheap cure for the Demonic Vine Plague.”



“Violet Pill Fairy, the genius at earning spirit stones by exploiting others and creating monopolies.”

She shrugged, showing no shame. “Well, I am very good.”

That wasn’t a compliment!

Her eyes softened when they landed on my little martial brother. “I see you’ve become taller, young alchemist Little Spring. You’re going to be a very handsome man when you grow up.”

While I didn’t think she was being creepy like Verdant Bamboo, I was still reminded of Violet’s history with Bloodsword. I subtly stepped between them.

Sure Little Spring and that reprehensible shit donkey were completely different individuals, but the two did share one significant commonality — the same protagonist’s body — halo included. If what had drawn Violet to him was that, then I’d have to teach Little Spring about the type of people he should avoid later, which consisted of both creepers and consummate capitalists who would sell their own family if it made them a profit.

I crossed my arms. “How did you get an invitation to the Alchemist’s convention?”

She gestured to the powerful old expert next to her. He stroked his white beard and studied us with large black eyes. I was positive I’d seen him before. Likely when I was relatively very young.

“I don’t deserve all the credit, so I shouldn’t say how.”

I squinted at her.

That fake-ass humbleness didn’t suit her. Usually, she’d be rambling about her accomplishments and boasting about how much money she made off of them.

Pill Otaku bowed to the higher realmed cultivator. “Greetings Pill Saint Five Leaves Medicine.”



The rest of us quickly did the same.

Where had I seen him before? If he was a Pill Saint, then he was a level above Grandmaster. There weren’t too many of them around during this time period, maybe a couple hundred, like the convention’s guest of honor, the Azure Pill Saint. There were even fewer Pill Monarchs, considered the peak for an alchemist in this era.

Five Leaves Medicine waved us off. “No need to be so formal at the convention. We’re all experts who’ve greatly contributed to the field.”

He looked down at Violet with the eyes of a loving mentor. “I invited her and her team here.” His lips curled into an excited smile. “Let me tell you, this girl’s mind is too brilliant.”

“My team deserves the real credit. I only solved a small portion of the problem.”

Who the fuck kidnapped Violet and replaced her with this person?

The old man stroked his short beard and looked like he was holding in a chuckle. “Stop being so humble.”

Hold on. When was this bitch ever this humble?



Pill Otaku grimaced. “I hope they enjoy his lecture more than I did.”

We all stared at the alchemy nerd in shock.

He grimaced. I heard the Azure Pill Sage’s lecture at a small Alchemists’ Guild Conference a couple of weeks ago. While interesting, I think his gestures are too limiting. While new, more stable, hand seals would be welcome, they should flow into each other easily. Right now, his appear to flop more awkwardly than a pair of Alabaster Fluttering Wing Leaves.”

That was a spiritual herb ingredient that looked like a pair of broken white dove wings. They flapped like a half-dead bird's to lure in the flower part’s prey.

Unlike those old hand seals, my advanced ones flowed into each other beautifully while also increasing control. But they too had flaws here and there.

I had a feeling that, if Pill Otaku had survived in my past life, he would have been the one to improve them. Maybe in this life, he could develop something even better than what I used.

Ruthless grinned down at me. “Besides, rather than listen to a lecture I’ve already heard, I’d rather have a discussion with you on the Dao of Alchemy.”

Pill Otaku, as usual, had excellent taste.

“That’s what I was hoping for as well.” Finally, I could really start my vacation!

Little Spring tugged on my sleeve. “Are you planning on staying here for a while?”

“That’s my plan.”

“Then I’m going to look around.”

While that was a normal thing for a middle-grader to want to do, I still studied the brat intensely. Because he wasn’t normal.

He looked at me blankly.

I continued staring.

He squirmed. ::I thought I saw something strange.::

There it was. ::What did you see?::

His lips tightened. ::I’ll tell you once I confirm. I could be wrong about this and I don’t want to possibly embarrass myself.::

Yeah. Fuck that. That was what protagonists said when they didn’t think anyone would believe them, so they left to gather evidence first before getting into trouble...

That said, I had just started my goddamn vacation at a convention where nothing bad ever happened.

That didn’t mean there weren’t bad actors trying to start trouble. But, like the situation with the tea house earlier proved, the security here was no joke. It would take some incredibly powerful people to bypass the guards, something I never heard happening in the thousand years I’d been alive.

Besides, Little Spring could always jump into his space if things became dangerous. I was confident he knew how to do that well enough now since that was the main thing he practiced while in hell training. He shouldn’t fuck up like he had during the tree mission and the vine plague mission... And possibly the crab mission, but we didn’t talk about that.

It helped that I wasn’t the only adult in our group. This time I would do some delegating because I wanted my fucking break.

::Alright, go. But take Ghosty McGhostface.:: It took the old soul a while to come out of his coma, but he eventually returned. After seven months of cultivation, he still hadn’t completely recovered, but he was strong enough to help out. With his presence, I could let the universe’s protagonist run around all he wanted.

Of course, I also had the feeling that if I prevented him from doing what he needed to, whatever incident may or may not happen would turn bad.

Little Spring nodded seriously.



::If things get dangerous, call our juniors. They are pretty reliable.::

::I will. And I’ll bring a recording device so I can show you that bad things can happen at the Alchemy Convention.::

::Yeah, I am not asking you to do that. In fact, please do not.::

The kid said his goodbyes, then quickly darted toward a shady alleyway.

Yeah. He’d be fiiiiine.