Story 5 Bonus [Book 1 End] - A Beautifully Bad Meal (2/2)

Story 5 Bonus [Book 1 End] - A Beautifully Bad Meal (2/2)

“What you need to do is take this knife and this box,” I said as I pulled jade versions of those from my ring. “Then, you go collect one Snow Pea Pod and one Pepper in the same box. And, if you can, don’t contaminate them with your spiritual energy or touch them with your hands.”

He swallowed. “Fairy Lin... How are we supposed to eat something if we can’t even touch it with our hands?”

I struggled a bit but eventually admitted, “While I haven't studied this field I have heard that there are a couple similarities between alchemy and immortal cooking, much in the same way chemistry and cooking share certain aspects.”

“What’s... ‘Chemistry?’”

“Ah, don’t worry about that... What I’m saying is that you’ll need to balance out the energies of ingredients, and in some cases, prepare them in advance. Also, if you touch peppers with your hands then rub your eyes, you’re gonna have a bad time.”

Realization spread on his face, then he nodded. He probably likened these peppers to the ones popular in mundane dishes. It was actually a decent comparison.

“Collect four of each. We won't need more than that for this recipe...” Probably.

He stared at the two small bushes as if facing a dangerous enemy. Well, he wasn't wrong.

He stepped towards the plants. As he grew closer and closer, I could tell that he realized that there was something I hadn't mentioned. That there was a reason the area around the two looked charred and icy.

He adjusted his position so he stood in between them then quickly collected one Snow Pea pod into the jade box. Because the box was open it started to freeze. His eyes grew wide, and he turned to deftly cut off a pepper.

Then swiftly went back and forth three more times before closing the box and using Consistent Step to remove himself from that situation.

He breathed quickly and shot me a betrayed glare.

I grinned. “Yes, this was a test. And you passed.”

“What was it a test of?”

“Although your cultivation hasn't increased, your physical body has become stronger and more able to take damage. You’re also using your head, though, you should have realized that the environment was more intense than it appeared from the signs around you.”

He nodded.

“You still have room to improve, but not bad.” I held out my hand for a high five. He reluctantly gave me one. But he wasn’t as reluctant as he usually was. This one actually made a soft clapping sound.

Very satisfying. The kid was definitely starting to adore high fives! Muahahaha!

***

Having collected all of the ingredients, we returned to the cave. Little Spring brought out the cooking supplies he kept in his bag. These weren’t as good as the ones we left in the space, but they were good enough for now.

“Fairy Lin! How do I dry the peppers?”

I frowned... And stared at the box that contained the bright red peppers and the green snow peas.

Well, if I were going to dry an herb for alchemy the fast way...

“To dry medicinal herbs you’d usually hang them up and let them dry out naturally. But there is a way to speed up the process if you need to. This only works on a handful of herbs at a time.”

Of course, there were other more convenient techniques I could use once I reached a higher realm. But I was limited right now.

I took out several stones and placed them in a small secret crafter’s array. Then I placed a spirit stone in the center.

After I strengthened my hands with Qi, I tossed the contents of the jade box up into the air and separated them into hot peppers on the lid and icy peas in the box. I placed the peas off to the side where they could chill the room. Then, using jade chopsticks I placed them on top of the array. The peppers shrank and wrinkled to the naked eye. Once they looked about right, I pulled them out of the array and dumped them back into the box with the peas.

His eyes glittered with excitement. He pulled out the mushrooms that we’d collected to make the mushroom essence.

“The instructions say that I need to extract the essence of the mushrooms and ferment them.”

“Fermenting takes time, you know.”

“But I’ve seen you use a technique that speeds that up.”

I groaned. It wasn’t a speed-up time technique as much as it was an increase in the plant’s rate at which it rotted. Like how apples would stay good for months but strawberries would mold if you looked away from them for a couple of hours. Of course, there were different reasons for that, but it was a similar concept.

I took out the mushrooms and frowned at them. Then I glanced at Little Spring. He looked so hopeful.

Had the author, perhaps believed that his adorable and slightly revenge-minded protagonist needed the extra boost to help him survive this fucked up world? Or — in what I considered was the more likely scenario — had he decided to get more popular by suddenly changing his main character’s personality and switched to focusing on a more popular type of Main Character? One that was darker, perverted, and focused on building a harem?

Authors did have to make a living. But was that really a good excuse to turn an adorable kid like this into fucking Bloodsword? I didn’t think so. But I’d also had to live through this twisted messed-up world he created. Maybe if I had actually read his story I would think differently... No. Probably not.

Well, I knew that the author, at the very least, started the story before we entered the sect... Because the incident that made me realize I was in a book and not in a random Xianxia alternate universe occurred during the trial to enter the sect.

But, if all went well, we wouldn’t have to endure that again. I mean, how lame would that be? Seeing old friends and enemies who were now children. Living through something that seemed like hell at the time but would be ridiculously easy to pass now.

It seemed like it would be a bit pointless to face that all over again, right?

Little Spring sat down in front of me, breaking me out of my thoughts. He set my bowl on the stone floor I’d scoured. Like a Yin Yang symbol, it was half-filled with spiritual rice while the other was filled with the Spiritual Lotus Root stir-fry. He handed me a pair of chopsticks.

I stared at the food and examined it. The white lotus root appeared to have gone beyond caramelization toward the charred end of the well done spectrum. The Snow Peas Pods drooped, having been overcooked. The dried red peppers looked like they wanted to kill me with spice in revenge for what I did to them earlier. And the wood ear mushrooms looked like sinister black squiggles, glistening with malice.

“Did you already taste this?”

His lower lip stuck out and he glared at me as if I’d offended him.

Not trusting him, I lifted my eyebrow.

He brought his own matching bowl up, picked up a malice-filled mushroom, and took a bite. It didn’t seem like he was in heaven, but he also didn’t seem to dislike it.

Ever so slowly, I pinched out a bit of fluffy rice and laid a slice of a partially charred Spiritual Lotus Root on top of it. Then I brought it to my mouth and bit down.

It did not taste great. And its spiciness burned my mouth, showing that the ratio between peppers and snow peas wasn’t right.

But it was edible. Barely.

Not letting anything show on my face. I continued trying each piece... Well, at least the kid knew how to cook spiritual rice the way I liked it. And the mushrooms were soft and not actually filled with malice.

The spiritual energy inside me slowly raised. Since I’d used a lot of it during the day, this was helping me to refill what I’d spent.

Once we were both finished eating, I set both my bowl and my chopsticks down. I stared at the kid.

Little Spring squirmed. “What do you think?”

“It did not taste good at all,” I said.

He hung his head. “I... might not have any fate with cooking, after all.”

“Hey! I wasn’t done.”

He nodded.

“It wasn’t good. However!”

He jerked his head up and sat up straight.

“This is your first attempt at cooking spiritual cuisine. And while it didn’t taste amazing, it was at least not poisonous. It didn’t produce any bad side effects. And it gave the person who consumed it a boost to their spiritual energy.

“While not good. It was still edible, which is better than most chefs’ first time cooking something this complex.” I grinned. “Good job. Work at getting better. All it takes is a lot of practice.”

His eyes seemed to say that he didn’t believe me.

“And never say that you ‘don’t have fate’ with anything you truly want to do. It might be harder for you to accomplish than for others, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t find time to practice it if it brings you joy.”

“Yes, Fairy Lin.” He clasped his hands and bowed.

I grinned. And I wasn’t lying about being filled with spiritual energy. Even now, I had to suppress the urge to call on the tribulation lightning... Because I could feel it at the edge of my consciousness, like a giant storm of hatred and heavenly will waiting to finish the job the previous tribulation failed.

This tribulation would not be the normal lightning that a cultivator should experience when ascending from Qi Condensation to Foundation Establishment. This had the same intensity as the one I experienced when I created my golden core in my past life. Maybe even a little stronger than that.

This meant that I actually wouldn’t be able to casually raise myself up to Immortal Ascension like a walk in a park.

Of course, this was just a slightly harder challenge. The heavens couldn’t allow things to get too easy after all.

Fairy Lin and Little Spring will return in Story 6 [Volume 2 Start] - Slapping Faces and Entering Sects