We're Going to Have a Kid

Translated by boilpoil

Edited by boilpoil

He Jünle, never again will I diss you for being an all-around central heating unit of a hotpot;

Jünle-ge, never again will I pridefully declare inside that I am handsomer than thou;

Lelele, never again will I throw a tantrum and try to wrestle with you for dominance in bed.

I, Murong Jihua, swear to the Heavens──

I honour myself by learning techniques, I shame myself by only aiming to pleasure myself;

I honour myself by being reliable and domineering, I shame myself by acting cutesy and seductive.

The child wishes to care for who has already passed away, meaning, they only treasure something when it is irrevocably lost;

These are obviously words hardly suited to the current situation, but the mess inside of Murong Jihua’s mind uncontrollably fires random nerve endings.

He holds He Jünle’s hand which is turning frigid as ice and hot as fire unpredictably, feeling his mad, maddening pulse rate, and thinks that if this continues, he’ll also soon enough go out-of-body and end up in the Heavens…

One of the most painful things in this world, is certainly,

Murong Jihua really wants to call out He Jünle’s name, telling him, I’m here with you, stay with me,

Yet his words have to turn into,

“Lele, my man, with this shaoye here, both you and our child will be alright for sure!”

‘Zwoop.’

?

Was it his senses playing a trick on him or did the helicopter actually just sway massively?

Murong Jihua asks, “… mister driver, are you alright?”

The driver answers, “I, I… promise to deliver shaoye and shao-furen as quickly as possible.”

Murong Jihua has a sternness in his tone as he replies with deeply creased brows, “are you kidding me? I can see your hand is merely trembling, why are you turning around? Did you think this shaoye had such a bad sense of direction he wouldn’t notice you making a u-turn?!”

The driver replies, “shao-, shaoye, this, this humble servant of yours, believe, we should probably, head to the best psychiatric institute in Country A, that we just passed earlier…”

Murong Jihua “…

You’re fired.”

The driver quickly pleads, “I’m sorry! It was not my place to speak! I will turn back around for the Central Hospital immediately! Shaoye, please forgive me this one time!”

History always repeats itself with strikingly similar circumstances.

While Murong Jihua is watching He Jünle being delivered up onto a stretcher and sent into ER with a cohort of medical staff about him, he can’t help but feel a sense of déjà vu.

It felt the same the last time… He forced the royal physician to accompany He Jünle heading into ER for at least ten times, but still fails to detect what was suddenly causing He Jünle to faint;

If it wasn’t for the brave and daring butler Cui, and for the fortuitous circumstances──

He may never have known, even to this day, that He Jünle, is somehow allergic, to his own skin.

Even so──

He never once refused his caresses;

He never once expressed any dissatisfaction;

He never once left him behind or gave up on him;

He always handled the shaoye’s emotions with maturity, from happiness to anger;

He always flirted with the shaoye as someone younger until he could only surrender entirely.

Really, if he thought about it, all those extra years of experience he has on Earth and here──

Ha, he must have spent them sucking on his mother’s tits for all the good it had.

Murong Jihua slaps his own gradually warming cheeks.

He has something he has to do right now, yes.

So he quickly grabs the Director of the Central Hospital who was hurriedly ordering the doctors around, looking like he’d much prefer to be treating He Jünle himself.

The Director was a normal, seriously normal looking old man. The heavy reading glasses he has are squeezing hard on his nose bridge. He was going to snap when someone grabbed him, but held his emotions back in when he saw who it was. He says,

“C-, CEO Murong, you honour us with your visit──do not worry, we will definitely cure your spouse.”

──After his flashy, extremely prominent departure from his closet into the public eye, and with all sorts of candid photos and other exposés starring him and He Jünle, as someone who has rose to a position as prominent as the Director, he can obviously see how important the person lying inside is.

And he, with his excellent, world-class level of skills as a physician, naturally can see that He Jünle doesn’t seem to be in any actual mortal danger. He is unable to diagnose the cause, but it should be trivial to treat the symptoms.

Yet our CEO is clearly not here to spout nonsense like ‘If anything happens to him, I will have your whole hospital follow him to the grave’ or ‘Do everything you need, and just ask if you need money,’ the young, male Adonis of a man merely looks like he really wants to say something, his grey, foggy eyes revealing extremely dissonant emotions unbefitting of the dangerous expression on his face…

Awkward?

He’s feeling awkward?

The old Director is amused at his own thoughts.

He obviously knows a lot about the prominent name of Murong Jihua’s reputation. Something that can make him act awkward? The Lord probably hasn’t got around to inventing one, hahaha…

Then, his face gets slapped.

Murong Jihua’s magnetic voice is now castrating his eardrums,

“He Jünle is pregnant.”

“…”

“…”

“???”

The old Director immediately says, “oh… Ah, I see, your furen is actually enjoying a more neutral sort of clothing expression… Apologies, but do not worry, we will definitely keep her and your new child──”

Murong Jihua interrupts him, “it’s a ‘he.’”

The old Director “…”

Murong Jihua continues, “he is pregnant.”

The old Director then replies, “… oh, haha, well, you see, Mr CEO, men are likely incapable of becoming pregnant. It must be some other medical reason… But do not worry, no matter what, our hospital will ensure that a healthy furen returns to your side.”

Murong Jihua says, “he is pregnant.”

The old Director “…”

“He is pregnant.”

Under the old Director’s life-questioning expression of blank doubt, Murong Jihua checks the surroundings, and, confirming no one is paying attention, he merely puts on a devilish, gloomy expression.

It almost looks like a smile; it almost looks like he’s happy. It is critically effective at psychologically damaging the opponent.

──A natural tendency to occur when two people spend long enough time together is growing similar in person.

──Basically, he learned it from He Jünle.

Murong Jihua extends his hand to lightly tap on the old Director’s shaking shoulders. patting the dust but without actually touching, leaning his head closer to the sweating forehead of the Director, saying,

“You have forced this shaoye to repeat himself four times, hm? Are you unhappy with how prosperous Central Hospital has grown over the years?”

He says with this low, gravelly voice, crashing into the ears of the Director like the rumbling murmurings of a devil,

“This・shao・ye・says・He・Jün・Le・is・preg・nant.”