CH 64.4

Table three – Do you think the boss and ge-fu’s usual applaud for love consists of the processes in the order of hand──mouth──gun?

Yes:no ＝ 4:6

Correct answer: no.

Table four – Do you think ge-fu’s favourite position is the cowgirl?

Yes:no ＝ 8:2

Correct answer: no.

Table five, Table six…

Today Murong Jihua didn’t need to act drunk, so, feeling like competing alcohol intake capacity with He ‘the Gary Stu’ Jünle, he does not refuse anyone egging him on.

The atmosphere reaches a climax.

While managing to squeeze quietly towards Xüeru under the cover of the crowd, Murong Jihua is able to poke her on the head discreetly to ask,

“Xüeru, sis, the message you sent your older brother last night has successfully aroused this shaoye’s attention. Are you interested in trading information for three bubble tea shops?”

Xüeru’s eyes suddenly light right up, even poking out her tongue to wet her dry lips.

“What do you want to know?”

“About the chat between you and your older brother, the ones about me──”

“Xüeru, Murong, what are you doing?”

He ‘Your_Boyfriend_Suddenly_Popped_Up.jpg’ Jünle is here.

He looks like he’s had a shot too much, but naturally, the most invincible is the loneliest. He, who never gets drunk, even if he chugged a thousand bottles, would still, at worst, look slightly flustered──

After suddenly popping up, he uses each of his hands to separate Murong Jihua and Xüeru.

Murong Jihua answers, “… nothing! Sis-in-law wanted complimentary packets. So I wired fifty-thousand to her.”

He Jünle “…”

Xüeru then says, “oh, yeah, I got 32 marks in my last maths exam. Quite the fortuitous number, no? So Murong-gege gave me a reward.”

He Jünle replies, “and? You think there’s a single mark of yours I haven’t hacked into the systems to check? You got 23 last time.”

“…”

“And last-last time. You said 19 when it was 16. Good gal, why not be more honest with yourself?”

He Jünle suddenly approaches Xüeru with this devious smile, giving her a full 365° magnetic surround sound experience.

What a brilliant, innovative enjoyment!

──He Jünle whispers warm air into her eyes, saying, “… do not try to leak paid contents, alright?

The little pirate girl is not a good younger sister.”

“Yip!”

Xüeru covers her mouth tightly, nodding her head like how someone would pestle garlic, promising, “yessir! My great, smart older brother!”

“… And you, Murong.”

He Jünle lets go of his hand holding little Xüeru’s own, instead, tilting his head to look at Murong Jihua.

“Never mind you engaging in piracy for now, Murong,”

He leans down to pluck a rose up with his mouth. His lips and teeth manoeuvre skilfully, so that he is able to say, without a problem,

“Would you like to dance with me?”

God knows Murong Jihua really is madly in love with this mouth that spouts poetry up ahead and eats bananas down below (TL: You know what this means, hehe).

“Of course, my baby.”

The crowd separates tacitly, giving the stage to them.

Murong Jihua, helping He Jünle at the waist, moving in line with the male steps in his mind, takes him across to the middle of the dance floor.

The rather suggestive and smooth music begins to play.

Murong Jihua lightly leans forward slightly, brushing at the rose trapped within He Jünle’s teeth with his own lips. His tongue brushes past the stigma, then, he plants his lips on He Jünle’s own through the red petals.

“It’s dangerous, baby,” biting the peduncle of the rose, Murong Jihua moves the rose over to his own teeth.

──Then, he takes it to fix it to his own chest.

“I’ll be keeping it for you. Right in my heart.”

‘­­──Ermagahd~’ is the collective moan of the surrounding crowd thanks to the unmitigated effects of raw, sweet dog food. They would say it is not enough. They need moar!

‘… He’s too tall.’

So thinks Murong Jihua.

This is really the first time he’s ever waltzed with such a tall gentlem…

Hmm? Something feels off.

BGM – ‘The Dazzlest Folk Style’ (TL: A popular meme song in China)

‘The boundless horizon is my love~

At the foot of the mountain ranges are flowers in full bloom~

What kind of rhythm is the jazziest~?

…

He Jünle notices Murong Jihua’s totally tense, dead-pig self, and stops to ask, “you don’t know how to do the public square dance?” (TL: A peculiar recent modern trend in Chinese society where the middle-aged of the Chinese population (especially the female housewives) enjoys dancing to rather nontraditional pop music in public squares in the cities)

“Pub- public square dance?”

“They picked this,” says He Jünle, his gaze sweeping across the buddies of the Jünle Gang all around, who all look excited enough to want to join in, then tells Murong Jihua, “it’s simple. Just follow my lead; it’s basically the school radio calisthenics again. One, two, three, four; two, two, three, four…”

“Stop, stop, stop, Le-gege,”

Murong Jihua madly rubs at the ground with his shoe and barely manages to force He Jünle stop the demonically flying dance moves leading him on.

“Can you repeat what you just said?”

“?”

“Please.”

“… it’s simple. Just follow my lead──”

“Not this one; the one before.”

“you don’t know how to do the public square dance?”

“No, the previous one.”

850

“… Would you like to dance with me?”

“No, thanks.”

“…”

“…”

After three total seconds of silence envelops the whole venue, as if recalling something, Murong Jihua retrieves the vivid red rose from his chest pocket.

He moves it back near He Jünle’s lips, saying, “… bite this, and assume I never took it away?”

The Jünle Gang members slowly open their mouths wide, silent screams exploding all around.

“…”

“…”

Seeing He Jünle stare at him with this lightless gaze that resembles the depths of the four seas for one second, two seconds, all the way until three minutes pass,

Murong Jihua finally takes the hint that something is wrong.

851

Fiiiiine.

He takes the rose back, and grabs a tissue from his pocket, and meticulously cleans up the rose, petal by petal, until it resembled more a work of art woven by silk.

Then, he admires the rose under the light for a while, confirming that it is now totally immaculate from the peduncle to the tip of the petal, before very assuredly──pries open He Jünle’s lips──to put the rose back in horizontally.

Murong Jihua nods, satisfied with his work, saying, “alright, Jünle. Never mind this episode, then. This shaoye believes that, besides public square dancing, we can have some far more meaningful time together, for example,” he then takes a glass of wine in his hands, shaking it in front of He Jünle, asking, “would you care to cross our arms once more to drink?”

852

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no, oh no.

The Jünle Gang members, all-too-familiar with the temper of their boss, nobody dares make a move from those who are sober even to those who are absolutely drunk. They all move a few steps back reflexively in unison, squeezing onto the wall.

… Too bad the restaurant really is too small!

853

He Jünle-style silence “…”

He Jünle-style smile “…”

“Yeah,”

He Jünle raises his head to raise such a brilliant smile at Murong Jihua, saying,

“You’re right, Jihua.”

854

“Mu, Rong, Ji, Hua!”

“… Yes?”

“[REDACTED] your [REDACTED] old mother, [REDACTED] [REDACTED]”

“?!?!”

855

Time froze.

The petals spewing out of He Jünle’s teeth are vibrant,

──Looking as if He Jünle had a flower-spewing sickness;

The heart racing out of Murong Jihua’s body, is the kind that is full of guts,

──Looking as if Murong Jihua had once again raped He Jünle’s brains.

──Yet, what nobody noticed, was what should have been noticed,

The terminal in their pockets, the fell outside when the two persons in question fought without restraint later.

There was a mail-received notification.

‘Decree of Challenge – Date, Time and Events for the Duel,’ sent from Her Highness, Princess Elizabeth’s Palace.

Unfortunately, among the ruckus of shoulder smacking and people flooding, an unknown shoe had crushed it. Hard.

After that, many other shoes had stepped on its corpse.

856

It died quietly, died discreetly.

Murong Jihua did not notice;

Nor even, did He Jünle notice.