CH 60.1

Hey everyone. I’m He Jünle, the magician.

I turn deserts into oases. I grow flowers out of rotten logs. I fill scorched lands with butterflies, and…

I allow little boys and girls with bad techniques to feel the grandeur of natural processes of life.

It’s my job.

Murong Jihua is kneeling on the ground to the side. His face is not exactly describable with a mere term like ‘vibrant’ anymore. It is so colourful that not even the burnt amber of the clouds of dusk can compare.

His sunglasses lay shattered to the side, the expensive beads and gems decorating it scattered all over, though the person in question doesn’t seem to be saddened because of them at all. Instead, he is looking off to the side, revealing a section of his beautiful collarbone.

He Jünle is staring at him from on high.

When the dull pain in his body gradually subsides, and his rage is slowly replaced by some inexplicable emotions, He Jünle is certainly not as angry anymore.

He is, unsteadily, making his way off the bed, and then, clamps on Murong Jihua’s chin, forcing him to face him.

“Look at me, Murong,”

He says, with that usual crisp voice. It is almost enchanting.

“Let me do it instead.”

Really, Murong Jihua was already regretting when he saw how He Jünle’s lips were all almost white from the pain;

This emotion completely overtook him when He Jünle kicks him right off the bed.

——Oh my dear Jesus Buddha Magic Girl Super Sun Wukong Emperor Yongle!

What do you mean ‘natural instincts,’ would anybody really be good at this without practise?!

——Before his brain could explode into colourful confetti, Murong Jihua could feel a slightly cold hand grab onto his chin.

His eyes smash right into a sea of stars.

…

It’s so pretty.

Before his brain could conjure up countless romanticisms to describe this scene, Murong Jihua hears,

“Let me do it instead.”

Let…

Me…

Do…

It…

Instead…

… Ｆｉｎｅ, looks like all his struggles weren’t enough to escape the fate of lying flat to bottom.

Now that he’s screwed it up royally, he doesn’t even have an excuse anymore.

That’s what Murong Jihua thought.

When he watches his little enervated self lying limp in his hand, he can only lament the fickle developments of fate.

——Yet, the pain he expected, did not come.

——Instead, he sees He Jünle with his brilliant jade bottle whose entrance is at the bottom, and then slowly——moves it over his sleepy little birdie.

“He Jünle, you?!”

Murong Jihua is stunned;

Murong Jihua is stupefied;

Murong Jihua is touched.

“Shut up and don’t speak. Don’t look down——shh,”

He Jünle’s voice is deeper than usual when he says,

“Just look at my face.”

The most brilliant of magicians is not just a title.

Murong Jihua is shocked to discover, that his unenergetic little brother, after being showered in the magnificence of the jade bottle, it is visibly growing!

The magic power on display must be astonishing!

And yet——

The rapid growth of the object caused it to be stuck hard when it is about to enter the jade bottle.

“Oh, most brilliant magician of the world!”

Exclaims Murong Jihua sincerely, asking, “what ever shall we do?”

Having wasted quite a lot of energy in his meal preparation, He ‘the Magnificent Magician’ Jünle looks rather tired, but after adjusting his breath, he smiles at Murong Jihua, saying,

“We plan what we could then leave it up to the Heavens; but men should always still strive their best, so that they do not shame themselves.”

He puts his lips on the forehead of his devout believer,

“It is time to witness a miracle.”

——A forceful jolt, and the jade bottle smashes right down, suppressing the monstrous birdie in its seal harshly!

Murong Jihua & He Jünle “Sssss——”

Murong Jihua & He Jünle “…”

Murong Jihua & He Jünle “Oh fuck that hurts…”

At least, it is inside now.

“He Jünle…”

“Wait, don’t move yet.”

“Uh…”

“It’s ok, just a little longer.”

“That’s not…”

“…?”

“You see, that thing over there, blinking? Are those binoculars?”

“… Yes, I think they are.”

——Then, a very familiar female “yip!” later, the artificial flash is gone.

“…”

“…”

He Jünle’s eyelashes shake a little as he says, “let’s continue.”

Throughout the thirty minutes, He Jünle’s mind is occupied with but a single thought –

Magicians really have it hard!

His powers are being sapped like a broken timeglass. Every so often he has to stop and allow the jade bottle some rest. The evil monstrous bird would keep struggling in place, fluttering its wings all about, causing the jade bottle to vibrate over and over. It could break at any time.

Yet the owner of the monstrous bird…

His brows are in a deep crease. His eyes are shut close. His face is beet-red. He is gasping for breath. It looks almost like he is the one being attacked by the monstrous bird instead.

He Jünle suddenly has a new idea in his mind.

Withstanding the pain, he leans his face closer and closer to Murong Jihua, making sure his breathing lands all on the man’s eyelashes. He asks,

“Little boy, are you enjoying my magic show?”

Oh damn.

The monstrous birdie is powering up again!

Murong Jihua suddenly opens his eyes. There seems to be a different aura inside.

“I have awakened.”

Then he touches He Jünle’s eyelashes, saying,

“Ready when you are.”

He Jünle almost grabs his wrist immediately, saying with a gasp,

“Do it.”

Thus, Murong Jihua fires up;

The magician is losing more and more grounds.

As truth will have it, never trust what a man says in bed;

Or what a bottom says.

Murong Jihua now has a brand new two-part allegorical saying –

He Jünle says do it——Yeah, yeah, chinny-reckon.

He Jünle can feel the wind behind his ears. He has shut off his senses lying with his back to the yellow sands;

Mr Murong is chasing after the moon. His blood is riling while he has his back to the blue skies.

The grain has moved ahead, and now the army is to march. Along the way are whales spewing waters from its blowhole, dragons fighting against serpents. Lightning strikes with no cloud. Winds blow and waves lash. The lone sail is flapping hard in the gale.

He Jünle’s mind is filled with a single thought –

I could just die like this.

Murong Jihua’s mind is also filled with a single thought –

I could just die like this.

The difference being, one is from the pain, the other is from the… you know.

Mr Magician has turned himself into a flat salted fish this time. He is skewered by a rod, roasted on a hot fire.

‘Never mind, I guess,’ He ‘Salted Fish’ Jünle thinks, “I might just keep lying down, then. It might be an hour at most… as long as he’s happy.”

Yet, Murong Jihua somehow sees this as the perfectly opportune moment to stop his rough treatment of the poor salted fish to ask with this careful tone,

“… Do you feel, good?”

Good, his damned ass!!!

Though the pretty eyes in which butterflies seem to be dancing convinces He Jünle against telling the truth, as the salted fish struggles to instead blow a bubble.

“… Yeah.”

Murong Jihua bites his lips.

——When He Jünle is all ready to continue his suffering, a hand dressed in a thin foil of glove suddenly grabs him by the gill, saying,

“You damned man, remember to look at the shaoye in the eye next time you’re trying to lie.”

——He then tries to adjust the angle of the rack cooking the salted fish, to ensure the meat is well-done and not overcooked anywhere.

He Jünle’s eyes widen out of nowhere.

‘Here it is!’

Murong Jihua is displaying a wicked smile.