CH 5.3

Mo Chuan Ya hurried to answer the door and was shocked to see him. “Dai Xingren! Why have you come back all of a sudden? Look at you, you’re soaked to the skin!”

She anxiously pulled him into the house and hurriedly poured him a cup of hot tea. He was in a terrible state. “Have some, I’ll put hot water in your bath.”

“No need.” He grabbed her wrist. “I can’t be away from the hospital for too long. There are two seriously injured patients who are still under observation, and one of my patients has been in a very unstable condition for the past two days.”

“If that’s the case, why did you come back?” She distractedly brushed away the wet hair that stuck to his forehead. “If you want a change of clothes, I can bring them to you.” 

“I just came back… to see you.” His breath was unsteady as he had obviously had it hard to get home.

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“Are you okay? Chuan Ya, is everything all right?”

She was fine, just a little lonely. Sitting stupidly just by herself in the living room all the time, gnawing on the bitterness of her thoughts.

She looked at him ruefully. “If you were worried about me, why didn’t you just call back?”

“R oydvle vs xyjl pwal okvb xu sod lulp.” bl xwaxwale kd y zso hsknl.

Kwpv vs vyjl y zssj yv bla, vs xyjl pwal pbl oyp pyql yde pswde, bl eked’v nsdpkela vbl akpj sq tskdt vbaswtb vbl pvsax? Ys Ubwyd Zy’p blyavpvakdtp vktbvldle yde bla lulp pvwdt. “Ps usw byhl ydu kely bso eydtlaswp kv kp swv vblal? Ebyv kq usw tlv bkv cu psxl czsod esod pktdcsyae?”

Tl pxkzle. “R’x dsv y jke, obyv yal usw pnyale ycswv?”

Fbl tzydnle yv bkx ydtakzu yde zle bkx vs pkv sd vbl psqy. “Zsw oykv blal qsa xl.”

“R nyd’v pvyu vss zsdt…” Tl oyp ycswv vs tlv wr cwv pbl ralpple bkx cynj kdvs bkp plyv.

“Gv zlypv zlv xl eau uswa byka, sj?” Fbl vsze bkx vs eakdj bsv vly obkzl pbl oldv vs vbl cyvbassx yde caswtbv psxl eau vsolzp. Ebu csvbla? Tl’e ts cynj vs vbl bsprkvyz yduoyu, yde sd vbl oyu clnsxl ealdnble kd oyvla ytykd. Tl oydvle vs pvsr bla cwv psxlbso nswzed’v. Tkp ellr tygl qszzsole bla wdnsdpnkswpzu wdvkz pbl alvwadle vs bkp pkel. Fbl qkapv oayrrle bkx kd y vsolz, vbld rwzzle bkp wrrla cseu esod yde zlv bkx zkl sd bla psqv zyr. Tla qkdtlap osajle vblka xytkn sd bkp olv byka.

“Zsw xwpv cl vkale, aktbv? Uzspl uswa lulp yde alpv.”

Tso nswze bl alpv? Tl bye pdwnj swv sq vbl bsprkvyz yde bye vs tlv cynj kxxlekyvlzu. Tsolhla, bla hsknl oyp ps psqv yde oyax vbyv bl nswzed’v blzr cwv alzym bkp xwpnzlp vbyv bye clld vldpl qsa eyup yde eakqvle sqq ypzllr.

No, he couldn’t sleep, he had a patient to look after surgery, he couldn’t sleep…

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Mo Chuan Ya raised her lips silently, quietly gazing at her husband on her lap, snoozing like a child.

He looked so pitiful, he must have been exhausted. The more she looked at him, the more caring she became. She couldn’t help but lean down and gently plant a light kiss on his forehead.

He woke with a start and sprang to his feet, “How long have I been asleep? What time is it?”

“Don’t be nervous, it’s not even been ten minutes yet.” She smiled reassuringly.

Dai Xingren put his mind at ease. “Since you’re all right, I’ll go back to the hospital.” Even though he said so, his legs seemed to have a will of their own. He was reluctant to leave. Finally, he took his beautiful wife in his arms and kissed her so deeply, so fiercely, so full of remorse and love that she shuddered and almost collapsed in his arms. After what seemed like a century, and at the same time in an instant, he let her go, his deep eyes capturing her immobile figure. “I’m leaving.”

“Yes.” Mo Chuan Ya nodded absentmindedly. Her heart was filled with countless butterflies flapping their wings at the same time and as she watched her husband’s upright back, she was suddenly unable to suppress the love that was boiling in her heart. “Xingren, wait!”

“What’s wrong?” He paused his stride and turned back.

“I want to tell you something.” She sauntered to him and raised her blushing face. “I… am pregnant.”

He paled in horror. “What did you say?”

“I said we’re having a baby.” She lowered her eyelashes, unable to hide her meekness.

He stared at her in shock. “How could it be? We… haven’t I always worn a condom?” 

“It’s not 100% safe guaranteed. Condoms can be defective, can’t they?” She chuckled. “And you didn’t let me take the birth control pills.”

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“It’s not good for your health to take pills.” He responded mechanically.

Only then did she notice that his reaction was wrong, and she raised her eyes in disbelief, trying to get an inkling from the expression on his face. “Xingren, you can’t be upset, right? Don’t you want us to have a baby?”

“It’s not like that, it’s just…” It’s too fast. He was not mentally prepared yet. How could he take on the responsibility of being a father when he’s not even qualified to be a husband? “I just… I don’t want you to work too hard.”

“Don’t worry, I’m ready to quit my job, especially during the early stages of pregnancy, I can’t be on the go every day, can I? I’ve decided to stay at home and take care of the baby.”

“You’ve already made up your mind…” He stared at his wife in awe. Why did she accept the fact that she was about to become a mother without hesitation? Were all women like that?

“You must be worried that you won’t be able to stay by my side all the time and that I’ll be sad, right?” She wisely guessed what he was thinking, but she was only half right. “It’s okay, I don’t mind. I’ll take care of myself. As long as you try your best to accompany me for the maternity check-up. Of course, I’d be happier if you’re willing to come to the mother’s classes together.”

She joked playfully, but he couldn’t quite get his head around it, and intuitively tried to escape her joyful face when the pager in his pocket suddenly beeped, saving him just in time.

“The hospital is calling me, I have to go!” He shook his head and spat in a dumb voice. He left as if fleeing. 

________________

“I don’t think he wants this child.” On a lively and colourful weekend night, Mo Chuan Ya and her best friend Jain Yi An met for a heart-to-heart talk. The two women hadn’t seen each other for a while and were chatting happily. Only after dinner did Mo Chuan Ya reveal what she had buried in her mind for days.

“You said your husband doesn’t want a baby?” Jian Yi An couldn’t believe it. “Why?”

“I’m not sure.” Mo Chuan Ya pursed her lips bitterly. “I think he might be afraid that the baby will affect our daily life as a couple? He’s afraid of noise and needs a quiet space to read and do his research. Maybe he will also find it troublesome to take care of the baby in the future.”

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“Have you talked to him?”

“There’s no chance. He’s too busy. It is rare for him to come home and he clearly doesn’t want to face the issue.”

“Are you saying he’s still treating the baby like it doesn’t exist?”

“It’s not exactly like that. He cares about my health, and when I had a bad case of morning sickness a while ago, he boiled medicine for me to drink… but!” She paused, sad.

“He only cares about you, not the baby.” Jian Yi An interjected understandingly.

Mo Chuan Ya sighed softly. “When I ask him to read baby books with me, he always pretends that he has to write papers or read medical journals. And when I gave him the ultrasound picture of the baby, he just glanced at it and put it aside.” 

“So cold!” Hearing this, Jian Yi An had already begun to feel sorry for her friend. “What about the maternity check-ups? Did he go with you?”

“It’s not that he didn’t come on purpose.” Mo Chuan Ya tried to defend her husband. “Every time I went for the maternity check-ups, I happened to find him busy.”

“Coward!” Jian Yi An sneered coldly. “Is he really that busy or is he just pretending to be busy?”

“He’s really busy.” Mo Chuan Ya emphasised carefully, and paused. “I was a little upset at first too, but now that I think about it, I feel it’s good in a way because I don’t want him to know that I had heart surgery as a child.”

Jian Yi An was stunned. “You mean he doesn’t know yet?”

“It would be bad if he finds out. What if he uses it as an excuse to persuade me to get rid of the baby?”

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“No way?” Jian Yi An stared in shock. “Would he go that far?”

“This…” Mo Chuan Ya frowned thoughtfully and took a sip of the juice. Ever since she found out she was pregnant, she had been avoiding stimulant beverages such as coffee and tea as much as possible. “I don’t think he will do that, but he is a doctor. If he is serious about convincing me, I’m afraid I won’t be able to argue with him.”

“So you’d rather not tell him?”

“I think it would be better.”

Would it really be better? Jian Yi An stared at her friend worriedly. She had a stubborn personality and was used to being independent. Even after marriage, she was not used to being a submissive wife.

She was carrying everything on her shoulders like that, wasn’t she tired? A waiter passed by their table with a plate of food and Mo Chuan Ya couldn’t help but feel sickened by the smell of food drifting to her nose.

“Are you all right? “Jian Yi An asked anxiously. “Didn’t you say that your morning sickness is much better? Why are you still wanting to throw up?”

“That smell is too strong.” Mo Chuan Ya covered her mouth and stopped breathing for a moment. “It’s all right, it’ll pass soon.”

Jian Yi An looked at her slightly pale face, feeling both heartbroken and exasperated at the same time. “To be honest, whenever I see you I always feel that having a husband is the same as having no husband. What is he doing? He’s always leaving you alone!”

“He’s a doctor.” Mo Chuan Ya answered back calmly. “And I’m a doctor’s wife.”

As a doctor’s wife, especially a cardiovascular surgeon’s wife, she had long warned herself that she must never depend on her husband, but be strong and independent. And that she must be able to endure loneliness.

She had to be the strongest woman—

“You really love him, Chuan Ya.” From the look on her face, Jian Yi An could see her steadfast determination and could only shake her head helplessly.

“Yes, I love him.” Mo Chuan Ya never hesitated to admit her feelings. She smiled sweetly and stroked her belly gently. “And don’t worry about me, I’ll have a little one to keep me company soon.”

“Wow, look in the mirror, your face is glowing with motherhood!” Jian Yi An teased.

Mo Chuan Ya was a little embarrassed, but proud. Although she was only ten weeks pregnant, she already felt like a mother, giving loving care to this baby conceived in her womb. Little by little, as it nurtured inside her, her motherhood grew stronger every day. She will love and cherish this baby as much as she loves her husband…

“No, no! I can’t look at it anymore, it’s too bright! God, I can’t even open my eyes!” Jian Yi An said exaggeratingly and reached out to cover her eyes.

“You’re crazy!” Mo Chuan Ya flicked her forehead with a finger in annoyance.

The two of them were laughing and joking, and what should have been a joyous gathering changed its tune the moment they left the restaurant.

A passerby rushed by recklessly and gave Mo Chuan Ya a swift push in the arm. She couldn’t prevent it and she lost her balance, causing her to stumble and fall to the ground.