C51

"Little brother, don't worry, elder sister has a family, children, I won't bother you, I won't have any extra requests for you. As long as you want elder sister, need elder sister, I will give it to you. As long as elder sister thinks of you, you can comfort me and elder sister will be satisfied …" Mei Ling murmured.

My body can't take it anymore. I am a man full of vigor, I threw all my morals, ideals, worries, customs and warnings out of the window. I don't have a single trace of Liu Yue or Qing Er in my mind.

The room was quiet. The heat from the electric heater warmed the room, and the curtains were still drawn, letting in light through the cracks.

I was a little flustered, and my face was red.

Seeing me like this, Mei Ling laughed: "Alright, stop bearing a psychological burden. As for our matters, you know about it, the heavens know about it, there won't be a third person who knows about it. Besides, Big Sis likes you and likes to be with you. Big Sis did it on her own free will and let you do it … "In the future, elder sister will love you dearly and care for you dearly. If you should find a girlfriend, you can find one. If you should marry into a family, elder sister will not stop you. I'll pester you …"

I felt a little relieved. I felt that being with Mei Ling, without any relationship, was rather easy.

I suddenly realized that I was in depravity, reaching the point of pure sexual catharsis.

Indeed, during that period, when I had lost all interest in talking about my feelings and had become a great mental obstacle and a great fear of love, I began, almost with a sense of self-abnegation, to be free to do what I wanted.

"Hungry? I'll go get some food for us to eat. " Mei Ling quickly dressed up and went out to buy food.

I suddenly remembered my diary and scrambled to my feet.

After searching for a long time, I finally found the diary on the shelf of my desk. It was placed with the other books.

Oddly, I can't remember when I left my diary here.

I hurriedly locked the diary into another drawer. Inside, I recorded all of my and Liu Yue's experiences, including Liu Yue's difficult life and emotional history, so Mei Ling couldn't find out about it.

I know Mei Ling is her mortal enemy. If she were to find out about Liu Yue's private life, especially the matter of him being with the Permanent Deputy mayor and me, it would be no doubt a heavy bomb that could almost destroy Liu Yue.

In this day and age, the issue of a woman's lifestyle was undoubtedly the best weapon to attack in the government.

Although Mei Ling is already my woman, although Liu Yue has abandoned me and threw herself into the embrace of another, in my heart, there is still only Liu Yue, I only love her, although I still hate her from time to time.

To me, Mei Ling is just a tool to vent my feelings.

Actually, I know that to Mei Ling, I am also a tool for her to vent her feelings.

We are only each other's needs and uses, nothing much to say about feelings.

Very quickly, Mei Ling returned with some food, and we finished our meal together.

After eating, Mei Ling looked at the bookshelves intentionally or not.

Today is a weekend, so I don't have to go to work or eat lunch. Mei Ling impatiently pulled me to bed once again.

In bed, Mei Ling and I roamed about until the sky turned dark again.

I was a little surprised that my sexual ability was so great, so much stronger than it had ever been before, as if it had become an insatiable sexual hunger.

I couldn't help but be surprised, but I didn't know why.

I have once again confirmed that Mei Ling has the tendency to be abused sexually, and the arrogant, arrogant, noble and elegant Director Mei who followed behind Ma Shuji during the day was like a different person.

As for me, my heart was filled with incomparable pain and resentment and I just needed a way to vent it. Mei Ling's request and my need just happened to be in cahoots.

Thus, my violence overflowed my depression, my violence satisfied Mei Ling's perverted nature, and each of them got their own way.

From that day onwards, my life started to deteriorate. Other than working with my life on the line, I didn't interact with anyone else, only maintaining mutual satisfaction with Mei Ling. I didn't hope for any more love, and didn't talk about true love.

"Do you like me? Do you love me? " Mei Ling asked me after he woke up from his drunken stupor.

"I don't love you. I only like your body. I only treat you like a scum!" I took two deep puffs on my cigarette. I knew that Mei Ling liked it when I humiliated her in bed, and I wanted to vent my anger on her.

"Call me 'Sis', okay?" Mei Ling once again weakly made his request.

"No, absolutely not!" Again I answered with absolute certainty.

"Why can you call her, and not me?" Mei Ling looked at me with resentment and blurted out.

"Who are you calling?" I looked at Mei Ling in alarm. "Who do you think I am?"

"I didn't call anyone, I was just casually saying it!" Mei Ling's expression was panicking, but he quickly covered it up.

I didn't ask any further, but suddenly felt a sense of unease in my heart. I suddenly thought about the diary that went to the top of the bookshelf, and the thing that Mei Ling read when I was sleeping …

It shouldn't have been such a coincidence that she wouldn't have been able to see the diary, I consoled myself.

In the unit, Mei Ling and I continued our normal interactions. When I saw that she was still addressing me as "Director Mei", and she was still addressing me as "Xiao Jiang", we both knew each other very well. At most, when there was no one around, she would carelessly touch me.

I numbed myself outside of work, not letting my mind think about it any more than I did through the painful and crazy mechanical venting with Mei Ling. I tried my best not to let myself get lost in the memories of the past, even though the things that happened in the past would sometimes unavoidably crawl out of my mind in the dead of the night.

If there was a medicine in the world that could make you forget all the past, how nice it would be.

I often think so.

Chen Jing was surprised by the huge change in my personality after I was discharged from the hospital. She asked me several times if anything had happened to me, but I just silently shook my head and walked over to the side.

It's not that Chen Jing isn't compatible with me, it's that I don't want to talk about love at all. I've developed sadness and disappointment from head to toe towards love, and in my emotional life, there's no tomorrow, no sunlight, and no hope. I just want to muddle my way and do whatever it takes.

In my life, I gave up on my own, but in my work, I burst out with abnormal enthusiasm and tension, diligent to the point of madness. Every day, in addition to attending normal meetings and interviews, I also took the initiative to find some news topics to interview, and when I came back, I was sitting in front of my computer, typing with my head lowered.

Office was the one who went last every night, I gave the most papers in the Department of Public Information, the one who got the most good news from the Editorial Board, I was the one who was publicly praised by Ma Shuji at the staff assembly and asked everyone to follow me as an example.

Under my lead, the Department of Public Information became more and more eager to catch up, to become the main force for the news. Everyone became different from their usual laziness and started to work hard.

"Jiang Feng, if you go all out like this, not only will you not be able to handle it, I'm afraid that even big guys will not be able to keep up with you …" Liu Fei told me half of the truth.

I know that my hard work and achievements have aroused the jealousy of the Colleagues, and even Liu Fei's uneasiness.

Liu Yue told me before that in every circle of unit, there was a kind of tacit understanding, a kind of balance. Everyone lives comfortably in this kind of balance and harmony, if someone were to suddenly appear and break this balance, this person would definitely be criticized and dissatisfied by some.

This was the rule of the circle.

And my exceptional diligence and hard work broke this balance, causing jealousy and dissatisfaction from my colleagues, including Liu Fei.

But I didn't want to care about that.

Liu Fei is becoming more and more courteous with me, and the words he says are becoming more and more superficial on the surface. I know that even though we still seem to be close and intimate on the surface, but in my heart, we are getting further and further apart.

Sometimes, Mei Ling would come to visit our Department of Public Information and chat with me. When she heard me, Liu Fei would run over from his Office and chat with me at the side.

At this time, I could see the jealousy in Liu Fei's eyes from the corner of my eyes.

I don't want to offend my direct leader, but there are some things I cannot do anything about. I need to survive, I want to develop, and with my own ability, I can't stay under Liu Fei's shadow forever.

I think Liu Fei must be really weird, why would Mei Ling be so good to me.

I also think it's tiring to think about other people every day.

I don't want to be involved in human affairs, but I know that there are times when I can't escape and I have to face it.

While I was working hard, I carefully avoided it and distanced myself from it.

In the past few days, Liu Fei had sent me a lot of interviews, and all of these interviews were for meetings and events, not a single one of them had any real news value. Most of the time, I actually received notifications from 5 conferences and meetings, all of which were for the government departments to perform some routine "Four Seasons Songs".

All day long, I was tired and ran from meeting place to meeting place, becoming a typical conference reporter.

I quickly understood that this was Liu Fei using his authority to suppress and warn me, because when I received so many interviews, there were still colleagues in the Ministry who were leisurely reading the newspapers.