Volume 1 - CH 1.1

New novel to replace Seijo once it finishes, though I guess it would be more appropriate to say this is replacing Eliza XD ~

Will be updated irregularly until Seijo is finished (: and also no illustrations will be posted for this even though it’s a light novel. 

I’m slowly putting it up on my patreon as well, so if you would like to see illustrations/read ahead please go there (:

There is a delicacy called an oyster. 

Oysters, also known as the milk of the sea, have a rich and savoury flavour. They are delicious boiled, grilled, or fried. 

However, the best way to eat them is raw.

Many people misunderstand that the ‘raw’ oysters sold in supermarkets are fresher than ‘for cooking’ oysters. Oysters are left to fast for a long time to get rid of the poison inside of them. The thin oysters for eating ‘raw’ and the thick oysters that are ‘for cooking’. It was a no-brainer which one was more delicious. 

… Once something like this spreads, then obviously there will be people who would eat the ‘for cooking’ oysters raw. Oysters ‘for cooking’ were specifically labelled since it was dangerous to eat them raw, but people still ate them. 

Of course, they would get food poisoning, and in the worst case scenario, they would die. 

Such morons are rare, but they did exist. 

What I meant is, I was such a moron. 

“Hey you, you’re going to go to hell at this rate.”

An older lady in front of me pointed out in a vicious voice.

This is ‘the world of the dead’.

More precisely, this was the ‘entrance to the world of the dead’, but it was still the afterlife. 

It wasn’t like the Styx River or anything, just a huge closed door that pierced the clouds, a group of offices lined up in front of the door, and a small town surrounding it. It was a really insipid place, but if this was the world of the dead, then it was the world of the dead. 

What was I doing in front of the entrance to the world of the dead? Going through the proceedings of moving on. 

“… Can’t you do something about that?”

“I’ve explained it to you many times before, Hirano Bonta. You can’t get into heaven even if you do a handstand with your evaluation.”

She kept slapping the A4-sized piece of paper that held my record as she spoke. 

I was surprised to learn that all my good and bad deeds were recorded on this sheet of paper.

“Sin: exploding an innocent frog with firecrackers. Sin: Pranking a girl cruelly even though you were aware of how she felt about you. Sin: You ordered sea bream from a tank at a Japanese restaurant, but never ate it…”

She kept listing my shameful acts one after another. 

The area where I was talking with this old lady was only separated by a partition, like a consultation corner at a government office, so the people next to us probably heard what she had said. It was quite embarrassing. 

“Have you given any thought towards being reincarnated?”

“But I’ve finally died…”

Honestly, my 24 years of life wasn’t all that fun. 

My only regret was not getting to know what happened next in the weekly manga I’ve been reading. Other than that, I was grumbling about wanting to get into heaven, but looks like that won’t happen. 

“If I were to be reincarnated, where would it be? If possible, I’d like it to be somewhere in Japan.”

“Japan, is it…?”

“Yes, there’s a manga I want to read. Being the son of a company president would also be nice.”

“Well, with your assessment, you’d be a… Yanbaru whiskered bat, an Odaigahara salamander or a setodes ujiensis in Japan.”

“Errmm, what did you say?”

“Like I said, a Yanbaru whiskered bat, an Odaigahara salamander or a setodes ujiensis.”

“Human isn’t an option?”

“The Yanbaru whiskered bat is a mammal.”

The choices were far less than I expected. This was worse than bad. 

It was horrible that all my reincarnation choices were minor animals on the endangered species list. 

It was great that I could reincarnate, but I would almost certainly end up as a virgin for the rest of my life. 

“Uhh, what are my other options if I don’t limit it to Japan?”

“If you don’t limit your choices to Japan, then does that mean you won’t mind being reincarnated in some place that isn’t Earth?”

“Eh? I can be reincarnated to places other than Earth?”

I was wondering what the old lady was talking about when it dawned on me. If there were creatures from places other than Earth, then their souls must also come here. I see, I felt a little smarter. 

“It doesn’t matter if it’s on other planets, other dimensions or other worlds. Anything’s fine as long as it’ll improve my current situation.”

“Oh my, why didn’t you just say so? I’ve got just the place for you.”

“Just the place?”

“Yes, a spot has opened up on another world’s Evil God roster.”

【Demon King】

The wind was blowing. 

The <Dethroned Crown Prince> Draco gazed upon the land of his imprisonment from his horse. 

He had long black hair and eyes as red as blood. He also had a single milky-white horn. 

He was one of the 108 demon kings in this demon realm. 

He still found it hard to believe that he had been banished to this land in the middle of nowhere since he excelled in both tactics and strategy. 

A remote region. 

It was truly in the middle of nowhere. 

The area was covered in dense forests and had steep cliffs that looked just like islands in the ocean. 

The magic beasts were ferocious and there were hardly any traces of civilization. 

(… To a place like this…)

He had been banished to a place like this. 

Just for losing a battle. 

He had been defeated by the army of Zardish, the <Overlord of the North> who had been gaining power over the last few years. It was only a single defeat, but Draco had lost everything because of it. 

He told himself he had no luck. The luck he needed was the divine blessing of an Evil God. 

Draco had never once believed in Evil Gods. 

He always held contempt for those weaklings who clung to Evil Gods. 

He never imagined that he would become weak like this. 

(I suppose I’ve become one of those weaklings now.)

He naturally burst into a self-mocking laugh when he thought that.

(Oh right, what would my ideal Evil God be like?)

His ideal Evil God. 

Not a God to cling to, but a God to pray to. 

He doesn’t have to be strong, just someone to be by Draco’s side. 

It would be great if that God did exist. 

Draco closed his eyes. 

He didn’t know anything about praying to an Evil God. 

He simply prayed in his own way. 

(God, O’ Evil God, My Evil God. I pray for you to be by my side…)

At that moment, there was a loud explosion behind Draco. 

When he turned around, there was…

“Ouch, that hurt…”

… A man.

He had no presence. A man in clothes he had never seen before suddenly appeared before him. 

“… Are you the Evil God who I should be worshipping?”

Draco felt ashamed after he’d said that. 

Evil Gods didn’t reveal themselves easily. He was most likely a demon who lived nearby. 

He didn’t look like he had any battle experience, and he didn’t seem nervous either. 

It wasn’t possible for an Evil God to manifest in this world. 

It was the Evil Gods who gave a spectre to the Great Demon King, and it was said that there was a hermitage where the Evil Gods rest in the depths of the great forest.

However, the Evil Gods in the legends were known for their unpredictable appearance and strong bodies. 

Surely there was no way that this weak-looking man was an Evil God. 

(Still, now that I think about it, the ideal Evil God that I wished for wasn’t strong either.)

Even so, he couldn’t believe that this man was an Evil God. 

“Ah, yes. Nice to meet you, I’m the Evil God.”

【Evil God】

I was suddenly knocked down and fell marvellously on my ass. 

Transmigration was pretty violent. My memories and appearance are also still intact. 

As a God, I could now make small miracles… and I had debt. 

I was fine being an Evil God and all, but I didn’t have enough good deeds to be transmigrated, so I borrowed some. 

To survive as an Evil God and live a lazy life in heaven, I had to gather the faith of the people, pay off my debt, and accumulate enough good deeds to enter heaven. 

The total amounted to roughly 560,000,000 karma. An average Japanese person accumulated about 270,000,000 good karma, so that was about two lifetimes worth of karma. 

I wasn’t told how to effectively gain karma. 

Anyway, I’m sure it’ll work out if I gather enough followers. That was what my intuition was telling me. 

Not to brag, but I’m the type of guy who plays RPGs and simulations without reading the manual. Of course, this wasn’t a world where I can just read a manual if I hit a dead end, but it’d be nice if I could ask an older Evil God for some tips. 

I don’t want my head to fill with messages like ‘to use miracle xx, you have to spend 200 karma’, or ‘to effectively accumulate a lot of karma, you must defeat a Lesser Dragon in Yoidre Swamp’ or ‘Gods have ranks; you will be starting from Bronze rank’ after my transmigration.

My goal in this life was to enjoy my Evil God life while effortlessly gathering karma. 

What, I’m an Evil ‘God’, so I’m sure it’ll work out. 

“Ah, yes. Nice to meet you, I’m the Evil God.”

I immediately wanted to take this back as soon as I said it. 

Evil Gods need to be a bit more vicious. 

What can I say…? I have a feeling that I need to say something more aggressive like ‘I’m gonna eat your guts’. 

First impressions are important and it’s better to act like a strong, dependable Evil God, rather than a friendly one. 

So, I rephrased the sentence. 

“Ahem. Indeed, I am an Evil God.”

Then, the handsome black-haired man in front of me dropped to one knee, not caring about dirtying his clothes on the ground, and bowed deeply to me. It didn’t feel bad for a handsome man to bow to me from two metres away. 

“Forgive me for not recognising you at once. I don’t know what Evil God you are but allow me to offer my apologies for my rudeness. I am Draco, son of Lione, the new Demon King of this remote land. I am known as the <Dethroned Crown Prince> Draco. It is my honour to make your acquaintance.”

Woah, woah, a Demon King? I made the right decision to rephrase my sentence. 

I can’t have a Demon King looking down on me. I suppose I had done the right thing for the time being since he was kneeling before me. 

But what should I do next in a situation like this? 

Maybe I should use a line from a period drama? 

“Hmm, raise your head.”

“As you wish.”

“… By the way, where are we?”

“Are you referring to this land? We are on the western outskirts of the Demon Realm; a savage place called the ‘Red Forest of Jonan’. Does Evil God-sama not rule over this region?”

The handsome Draco stared at me curiously. 

Is that so? 

I don’t know what Evil Gods are, but do they normally appear in places they rule over? 

I guess it’s like how sales reps oversee certain areas. Evil Gods must do the same. 

“Actually, I’ve just become an Evil God.”

“I see, you just became an Evil God. That explains your appearance. Do Evil Gods grow up like me and the other demons?”

“My appearance?”

“Yes, you are quite small for an Evil God. This is my first time being in the glorious presence of an Evil God, but according to the legends, all Evil Gods are gigantic.”

Argh, dammit. 

The old lady in the world of the dead even asked me if I was sure I didn’t want to be huge. 

Like plain udon, I got a ‘plain transmigration’. It came with language and other basic things needed to be an Evil God, but things like ‘gigantism’ and ‘dark clothes’ were sold separately and cost karma. 

Gigantism costs about 400,000, but I decided to forgo it as I wanted to pay off my debt quickly. I may have been a bit hasty. In hindsight, 400,000 seems like nothing when I have a 500 million debt. 

Back when I was Hirano Bonta in my previous life, I used to hang out with my old man who owned a print shop. He had an even more extravagant nightlife after he had a debt of 100 million. I guess that was how far my money sense went. 

“Well, that’s actually true. I will gradually get bigger as I gather followers to believe in me.”

“As you wish, O’ Evil God.”