I didn't plug in the power card, and I stumbled on the bed. I want to feel the temperature of Susha, and I want to feel the breath of Susha. This room is the only place where I can feel the breath of Susha. I knew that once I checked out, the only breath of the room would disappear.

I put my head under the quilt to feel the temperature of Susha. The quilt has been cold all morning. I can't feel the temperature of Susha.

I began to cry in bed, crying very quietly; why I cry, I don't know. I don't know why I didn't ask Susha to stay when she asked me last night. I know that maybe as long as I was brave yesterday, it would be another ending.

Su Xia looked into my eyes and asked me: should she leave Huping.

I know that I casually answered: Su Xia, I love you, stay; I have said such insincere and sweet words thousands of times, which is easy to say; but at that moment, I was also serious. Although I could guess the end of the story, I didn't dare to answer them casually.

I want to try to grow up slowly, to love Susha with responsibility, and to hold up a blue sky for Susha with my own hands in this lonely and noisy city, although I know that this process is very far and long, so long that I feel unreal.

But Susha can't wait. She can't wait for me to grow up. Although she hopes me to grow up, I still let her down.

Tears slowly flow into my mouth, bitter, astringent, salty, just like my mood at the moment, men have tears do not flick, at that moment I feel really weak, even dare not cry aloud.

I took out my mobile phone and kept dialing Su Xia's phone. I was always a cold girl: "the mobile phone you dialed has been turned off."

Although I know that Su Xia won't turn on the phone, I still insist on calling and texting: "Su Xia, come back."

"I'm wrong, Susha."

"Please come back, Susha."

"Susha, did you just leave without a word?"

"Su Xia, I love you..."

……

Finally, my cell phone started to strike, and my cell phone ran out of power.

At that moment, the thick curtains, I do not know what time it is, I do not know whether it is day or night, day or night, it does not matter to me.

I lay quietly in bed, I don't know why, but I woke up at that moment, I don't know where Susha is now. Is she still in Huping? Or, as she said, she has left this city. If she is in this city, where is Suxia? If she leaves this city, where is she? Is that city as hot as Huping? Is that city as crying? Is there a boy who bullies her like me waiting for her?

When I think of this, I can't help but shed tears again, and the little things I know from Su Xia also begin to emerge in my mind:

Su Xia silently washed clothes, cooked food, served tea, poured water, washed feet, took a bath for me For a long time, I have enjoyed all this in silence. My heart is not without uneasiness, how can I do it? But this idea is just a flash, and I feel at ease to enjoy all this. After a long time, I feel at ease.

Su Xia's hint was so obvious that I was ruthless and pretended to be confused to the end. After all, Su Xia was thin skinned and didn't break it, and I was thick skinned to pretend to the end.

I found that I Miss Su Xia, this kind of missing is so strong, maybe at that moment, I really recognize my feelings for Su Xia.

Although I love Susha very much, I am still like a bee. I linger in the flowers and forget to go back. I am so frivolous that I have to go to bed with different women. I still think I am charming. It's not that I have no fear, but the pleasure brought by cheating, which covers up that fear.

After the incident of sister Hong, I realized the pain of losing Su Xia for the first time. I knew that I couldn't lose Su Xia. No matter what way, I couldn't lose this girl.

It's hard to get back together after breaking the mirror. Although Su Xia forgives me later, the wound in her heart never heals. Su Xia, who lost her trust, is sensitive to anything.

When the witch appeared in front of me in such a nearly dramatic scene, although they didn't say a word, our expression betrayed me. The sensitive Susha understood everything.

Su Xia can't rub the sand in her eyes. When she gives her heart and soul, she will betray again and again. The more she loves and hurts, the more she finally decides to leave me.

But until the last moment, Su Xia also wanted to give me a chance, also give yourself a chance, even if I just a false stay, Su Xia will stay.

……

Scenes of the past emerge in my mind. The pictures of the past are as clear as they happened yesterday. Su Xia's voice, face and smile constantly freeze in my mind.

Sleep, wake up, wake up, sleep, wake up, sleep

I don't know how long it took. Hungry, but I did not get up to eat any * *, as if the only way to forget the pain in my heart.Gradually I have a kind of confusion, even a kind of trance, I don't know where I am, and I don't know what I'm doing.

I don't know how long after that, there was a harsh sound in the room. In a daze, I couldn't tell exactly what it was, and I didn't care.

The rasping voice stopped. I just breathed out. I was a little sober. The rasping voice started again. Now I understand that the source of the noise is the phone in the room.

I was too lazy to answer, but the noise didn't mean to stop. I climbed over and picked up the phone and said, "what's up?" I asked, extremely weak and displeased.

The other end hesitated: "Hello, sir, I'm the front desk attendant."

"What's the matter?" I'm a little impatient.

"I..." The front desk faltered and did not answer.

"Nerves." I hung up.

But this phone call also made me wake up. I have to leave this hotel and stay. I have to die here.

I'm afraid, smear found the bathroom door, groping to wash his face. When I arrived, I didn't have anything to take with me, and there was nothing to clean up. I staggered to the front desk.

"Check out." I said very weakly.

"Are you all right, sir?" Asked the familiar little girl at the front desk.

I shook my head and gave a wry smile.

"Just now, just now Excuse me, I just want to see you go in and never come out. I just want to ask you... "

"Thank you."

After settling the bill, I found that I stayed in the hotel for two days without eating or drinking, and I staggered out.

"Don't worry, sir." Behind them are the voices of concern.

I waved my hand and didn't look back. I know I'm going to get used to my life.

When I walked out of the hotel, the air in the lake came like a tongue of fire. At that moment, I felt a burst of collapse, and my feet were as soft as stepping on cotton. At that moment, I knew what hunger was.

I staggered into the noodle shop next to the hotel and said, "give me a big bowl of beef noodles."

In less than a minute, that bowl of noodles was wiped out by me. I felt like I didn't eat it. I was even more hungry. "Another bowl."

The boss looked at me like an alien. At that moment, my image seemed to have just been released.

To be honest, it's the best Ramen I've ever eaten in my life. I've drunk all the soup of ramen. Later, I went to this Ramen restaurant to eat it several times, but it's not delicious any more.

After two bowls of noodles, my mind began to think again. I know that no matter how sad I am, Susha has left me, but life has to go on. If the woman is gone, I still have to eat, and my career can't be gone any more. I don't know if anyone has come to me these two days.

There are several messages.

Tian Jing's, family's

After three phone calls, I suddenly feel very empty, I sat down beside the bed, I feel terrible.

I dialed Su Xia's phone, but still didn't turn it on. As expected, I sent a short message: "Su Xia, I don't know when you will turn it on, and I don't know whether you will, but anyway, I'm waiting for you. Come back, Su Xia."

After texting, I lay in bed, and I was still thinking about a question I had been thinking about in the hotel for the past two days:

If I promised to get married, it would not be like this?

Although my problem is not a problem at all, or even a false proposition, at that time, it became a nightmare that I could not get rid of. In countless times, it repeatedly entangled me and made me sleep and eat uneasily. I knew that it was a problem that could not be verified and things could not be repeated, but this problem also planted a seed in my heart The seeds germinated slowly, which forced me to move forward. Whenever I was tired, whenever I wanted to give up, this terrible seed came out, so I had to work hard to move forward.

I got up. I decided to get a haircut. I cut off the long flowing hair from the beginning. When I cut it, the barber asked me, "are you sure you want to cut it?"

"Well." I nodded, determined.

The hair in the mirror drops a little bit, and the blood in my heart solidifies a little bit until it scabs.

It's hard to live without Su Xia. I dare not stop myself, because when I stop, I will miss her. When I stop, I will blame myself. When I stop, I can't help going crazy. Why don't I stay with Su Xia.

When I wake up in the morning, as long as it's daybreak, I will rush to the customers. Sometimes the customers don't open the door, but at night, I will wait for the customers to close before I return.

After I came back, I was very tired and sleepy, but I still couldn't sleep when I got to bed. When I closed my eyes, I was full of Su Xia's shadow.

I text Susha every day, telling her what I've done that day, even though I know she probably won't read it at all.Without Susha, I don't know whether I'm mature or old. I and those customers who have been bigger than me for a round or even more have been drinking and drinking. On the wine table, I hold my neck to be brothers. I swear like a brother. One by one, they make people laugh, but my heart is infinitely sad.

In nightclubs and KTV, when I choose "beauty", I will shout to "mommy" like those old lusters: "find some big and round ones."

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