Chapter 399 - Can we talk (8)

10 May, Paul Gu's apartment, City K

Ready to pull his hair out, Paul somewhat angrily responded "Abigail, get a grip. When have I never shown you respect."

After shaking his head, Paul having calmed slightly said "I get it, saying you are annoyed with me is an understatement. You are more than that with me. Fine, I get it you do not like what I did, but do you now get that if John or any other member of the police came through that door, not only would your friends have faced criminal charges, you would have for allowing it in our home. Yes, be angry I told them to get out of our home, but never be angry about me wanting to protect you."

"Protect…"

"Stop right there." Paul placed his finger on her lips, to stop her talking, but quickly Abigail used her tongue to caress his finger, drawing a slight m.o.a.n from him.

"Wanting to protect you, that has become a focus of my life recently, particularly from your witch of a mother and myself. Remember, I had to protect you, when stupidly trying to focus on what I deep down knew was unattainable and was holding me back from having a life and I crashed into you, injuring you. Then, from your mother's reactions when I got you home after helping you. Then here, when…"

Pausing, Paul looked at Abigail and she blushed, before leaning over and gently kissing her. He then continued "You were so tempting, and I was trying to sort out things in my own mind. Then to protect you from your mother's pure greed. Then I screwed up."

Silence filled the room. Abigail looked up at Paul under hiding slightly her eyes from his view. What did he mean? Feeling confused she quietly said "What…?"

"How did I screw up?" Came an honest answer from Paul. "At least you are listening, but I have had a few screw ups. Not your fault, it is mine, and partially because I had not been honest, but also because I do not want you to run. With everything your mother has put you through for years, you deserve happiness, love, care, and honesty from those around you. But being stuck in the past has meant that I have not been honest with you."

Sighing, Paul seeing that Abigail was at least letting him speak, took the opportunity to speak, before adding "You were right about me not treating you with respect. That is my problem, not your problem. You deserve that from me, and so far, I have not delivered it. But that likes to my screw ups and inability to deal with my own emotions."

Observing the sense of uncertainty on Abigail's face, Paul said "Let me finish what I have to say, and I think it will be better if, at least for the night I give you space to digest what I have to say. Then we can talk more."

"Talk? Delay? How is that about respecting me. You know nothing." Abigail spat out, ready to move, but felt Paul holding her strongly on his lap.

"No, not about delaying, it is about me trying to fix the problems, and allowing you time to consider what I have to say. I am ten years older than you and have experienced life. You, have married young and while we both know the reason behind that, but the result is that you have not had the life experience opportunities I have, nor have you had a chance to develop fully into your own independent person. I love that about you, as it makes me want to be protective of you, but at the same time I cannot be restrictive of you, as you will not become all that you can be."

"Where I really screwed up commenced on our wedding day. When I saw you walking down the aisle to me, I realised that I messed up they whole situation. You deserved more than what we had as a wedding, which I realised as soon as I saw you walking down the aisle towards me. You deserved the chance to be the perfect bride before not just the small group of family and friends we could gather quickly that were trustworthy to not say anything to alert your mother. You deserved the world to see that you were a beautiful bride."

"That moment, though started some other things. I realised something deep down in myself, that I used the idea of what I wanted in the past to hide from opportunities for a relationship and that had me consume some alcohol. That lowered my restraints and if I am realistic, I used my life experiences to manipulate you into our wedding night. As that was not your free choice, I regrated my actions, hence I stayed away from you because I wanted to give you time to reconcile things."

"However, I have realised that in doing that, I have done more damage, to you and to any potential relationship we might have. It was, because I was scared about how my feelings would impact you, so I did not talk to you about things.

Quietly Abigail said "Feelings? You hate me…"

Leaning over and gently kissing her Paul quietly said "No, hate you never. Confused, yes for a little while."

"But…"

"I knew deep down from our wedding day, that I had deep feelings for you. I was unwilling to put a name to them, more because I was scared about it. But, hearing you earlier and realising what I have done in hiding from things is something I cannot do."

Paul gently moved Abigail over to the side on the sofa, before turning her head and saying "I do not need an answer from you now, but just know that you are my world, my love, my life. In knowing that, you need to have time, and whatever you decide to do I will grant you that. Forcing something on you will be a betrayal of those feelings. You need to think about things and make the decision right for you."

Paul lent over and gave her another brief kiss, before standing up and starting to move away.

As he reached the room threshold Abigail called out "Paul, hubby, can we talk?"

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