Chapter 197 - Regrets?

15 February, Military Base, City K

Lexi awoke to hear a shower running off slightly in the distance. Last night had completely exhausted her, but at the same time it left her feeling satisfied. Looking back, the alcohol she consumed at Club TJ's she knew it had eliminated any inhibitions she had about having s*x with Mathew, in the same breath she knew that she could not blame it for her actions as she ultimately wanted what happened.

Sitting up, she paused and realised that last night had clarified something for her. She did not hate Matthew as much as she thought she had. Yes, she regretted everything around their marriage, but there were still emotions tied up with him. Was that a regret for what could have been or was it something more? That was the question for her, and Lexi knew that there was no simple answer. Was it because he was Dominic's biological father? Or was it because he was her husband? Regrets? Thoughts of what could have been if he had been around when she found out she was pregnant? Love? Hate? It was so hard to figure out.

Before Lexi could delve into her thoughts more, Matthew walked into the room, dressed in his day uniform, clean shaven, and a hint of dampness could be seen on his hair. When she had awoken, she was right and had heard a shower on.

Lexi looked directly at Matthew, and saw in his eyes concern, worry, happiness and confusion. What was his true emotion?

With some trepidation, Matthew approached the bed, and sat down looking directly at Lexi all the time. As he reached over, she paid attention to the simple fact he had the ring she slipped on his finger at his request still on his hand. That was when she looked carefully at the rings he slipped on her fingers, she noticed that the wedding bands matched, and that the engagement ring complemented it. Lexi saw fear that Matthew had that she would remove the rings in the cold light of day. But, unlike the rings that Richard put on her hand, these seemed right, even after a night.

Looking at Matthew, Lexi said "You know my view on this marriage, but for the moment I will leave them on. That does not mean that I will not remove them in the future."

Matthew, despite being who he was, when facing the woman he loved for over a third of his life, and hearing her say that she did not want their marriage and would remove the rings, he selected for her with love, wanted to sit there and howl in pain. No matter what he seemed to do, all Lexi would do is reject any efforts he made.

Lexi noticing the conflicting emotions, turned to Matthew and said "I know I had too much to drink, but I will not use that as an excuse. I still know what I did last night, and if I am truthful, I manipulated you to the point what happened, happened."

"But Lexi I know how you feel."

"Matthew who ever said s*x was about feelings, sometimes it is simply about a need, and if we are honest with ourselves, we both needed it last night. For that reason, I will not regret what happened. And if we are honest with each other, we both will not, for our own reasons, not break our marriage vows. You, because there are consequences for your career if you do, and me, your investigations about my past would tell you…"

"When Richard was killed, when he was with his mistress, and there was evidence that not only had the two of them had s*x shortly before they were killed, his mistress was ..."

"I do not need to talk about that; it was hard enough when the police told me the outcome of their investigation. I have done everything to keep it from everyone, including Richard's parents because I do not want the truth getting to Dominic until he is old enough," came the resigned reply from Lexi. That information was still hurtful today, as it was when she found out about it. Regardless of her feelings, she had respected her marriage vows and Richard could not wait even a month after Dominic's birth before resuming with his mistress.

"Lexi, that is something that will come out…"

"The more we can keep it from being known the better."

Before either of them could speak further, Matthew's mobile called, and he picked it up, noticing that it was Andrew. Placing the call on speaker phone Matthew snapped out "Andrew, what do you want, I am with Lexi so you can tell us together or leave us in piece."

"So says the person who got a free meal from me last night."

"I offered to pay, but you told the staff to refuse payment, so do not complain."

"Who would have known about the alcohol consumed…"

"Stow it, brother dearest," came the sugary retort from Lexi. "With you paying, you know I am going to run up a bill."

"Damn it, Lexi, you and Alcohol do not mix."

"So says the man, who I have seen fall down drunk after a c.o.c.ktail."

"Apparently with over twenty shots of alcohol, so what do you expect Lexi?"

"Someone who can hold their liquor, but that is not you." Came Lexi's quick response, while Matthew was sitting listening, not trying to laugh.

After taking a quick breath, Matthew said "You called for a reason, so do not delay telling us."

"Fine, you take the fun out of messing with you two Matthew," responded Andrew. "I do have a reason…"

"So, come on and tell me Andrew, or do I have to get Matthew to torture it from you,' replied Lexi to Andrew's silence in a laughing tone.

"I just thought I would tell you before it is publicly announced, I got engaged to Sally Nang last night."

Lexi's jaw dropped and she could utter nothing. Matthew, a little stunned said "Congratulations…"

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