Chapter 381 - I Don't Want You

A multitude of questions buzzed in Ethan Lee's head like a swarm of jillion bees going round and round making annoying sounds. His head hurting. His eyes hazy.

'Sera.. Lucifer? Love?! They.. They love each other? What.. What about me?! What is this hurt that I'm feeling..? What feelings do I have for Sera?..'

The color of Ethan Lee's face vanished into pale nothingness as realization dawned on him. His captivating black orbs turned as large as saucers.

'Am I in love with Sera!'

Befuddled, Ethan Lee stood staring blankly in space.

'I love Sera? I do?! My.. I love my friend's girlfriend..!!'

Cold sweat spread from the back of Ethan Lee's neck to his forehead, the transparent liquid dripping down the sides of his face.

A look of dismay flashed past Xia Ruo Lan's face, her black eyes brimming with unshed tears as she observed the frozen Ethan Lee. Her hands trembling.

"Ethan! Et.. Ethan?!"

Shaking the man after he didn't respond to her cries, Xia Ruo Lan called out again. Her straight eyebrows scrunched into a mild frown. Her shaky tone unable to hide the shock and pain that she was suffering from.

"Huh?! Ye.. Yes.."

Jerking at the light brush of Xia Ruo Lan's fingers on his palm that felt strangely electrifying, Ethan Lee snapped back from the devastating thoughts clouding his mind. His confused gaze shifted focus on her.

"Are you okay?"

Lowering her voice, Xia Ruo Lan glanced at Ethan Lee's face as she asked. Her slender fingers quivering under his coat's sleeves.

Fidgeting with the fabric uncomfortably, Xia Ruo Lan deliberately tried to hide them from him.

"I am.. But are you? I'm sorry.. I didn't know about them. If not, I wouldn't have.."

Ethan Lee closely studied Xia Ruo Lan, her trembling figure couldn't escape from his keen eyes. Naturally he noticed her shaky fingers and teary gaze, his gaze sharpened.

"It's okay.."

Avoiding to meet Ethan Lee's all-knowing gaze that seemed to see right through her, Xia Ruo Lan mumbled as slowly she turned around the corner. To escape from him

"I know that you love Lucifer.."

The very instance Xia Ruo Lan was about to take a step forward, Ethan Lee's words fell on her ears forcing her to stop in her tracks. Her body froze in shock. Even her turned to lead.

Now, each step Xia Ruo Lan takes forward would be extremely heavy and difficult for her.

"It's alright.. You can cry if you want. I won't tell anyone!"

Taking steady but brisk steps to reach Xia Ruo Lan's side, Ethan Lee continued in a slightly softer tone.

He was no longer apathetic to her, or that's what it looked like!

"Really?"

While Xia Ruo Lan's expression remained unchanged, a single tear rolled down her pale cheek. It was disheartening. He was now standing in front and quietly watching her.

"Yea, come here.."

Raising his hand in air, Ethan Lee motioned Xia Ruo Lan to advance towards him as though she was a two year old child in need to be coaxed.

Hastening her steps, Xia Ruo Lan fell right into Ethan Lee's broad chest and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Tha.. Thank you!"

Sniffling, Xia Ruo Lan stuttered. Her face stained with tears. They remained like that for a couple of minutes before Ethan Lee's voice rang in the quietude.

"I love her.."

In an almost whisper, Ethan Lee shared his sentiments in the dark corridor of the hotel. Abruptly opening her eyes at his statement, Xia Ruo Lan pursed her lips before closing them again.

"I know.. I can see that.."

After a beat, when Ethan Lee thought that she wouldn't reply, Xia Ruo Lan's voice with a hint of tremors from crying resounded.

With her eyes closed, Xia Ruo Lan simply recalled the instance where the man was staring dazedly at Sera at the birthday party. His gaze as gentle as she could remember.

"Even you can see that.. Why can't she, or Lucifer see that I love her?"

Chuckling hopelessly, a despondent expression formed on Ethan Lee's face. His irony filled gaze fell on Xia Ruo Lan's head pressed on his chest.

"Of all the people.. Why you?"

In the same dejection filled tone, Ethan Lee mumbled to himself. His question directed to no one in particular.

"I feel the same way too.."

Tears flowed continuously as Xia Ruo Lan silently cried, there was no noise except for the soft muffling when she replied to Ethan Lee's question.

The words by Xia Ruo Lan were spoken to no one in particular. Even Ethan Lee didn't hear a single word. He thought it was the sound of her crying.

Her heart bleeding red. She could feel the affliction deep inside her. As though each and every single fine fibre was being pulled apart personality by the most important person of her life.

After what seemed like eternity, Xia Ruo Lan still didn't detach herself from Ethan Lee much to his puzzlement. He stared at her hands around him and kept quiet.

"Xia Ruo Lan? Ruo Lan?!"

Brooding on the possibility that Xia Ruo Lan might've fallen asleep or fainted, a worried Ethan Lee softly called her name.

Completely engrossed in his own thoughts, Ethan Lee didn't even return her hug, or comfort her in any way possible. His hands were hanging loosely on the sides and he was starting to feel guilty.

In his dispirited state, Ethan Lee's brows furrowed into a dark frown. His expression as though struck by lightning.

The man suddenly came to a realization that he was subconsciously thinking of Xia Ruo Lan and her heartache instead of Sera and his so-called love for her.

"Let just stay a little longer.. I don't want you to see my face right now. It must be really ugly!"

Fluttering her dense pair of eyelashes, Xia Ruo Lan masked her emotions as her voice was heard. It looked like she was pleading, but she was actually acting spoiled.

Her fingers at the back were shivering nervously, waiting for Ethan Lee's response.

"You're always ugly!"

At her reaction, Ethan Lee's lips naturally curled into a small smile. His tone turned playful as well. His gaze however remained bleak.

"I can't feel my legs.."

Pressing her lips together, Xia Ruo Lan raised her head to meet Ethan Lee's gaze. In the dim corner, her tear stricken face was barely visible as she muttered softly.

Yet, Xia Ruo Lan's black eyes glistening with tears looked especially bewitching in the dark.