Chapter 591 - Scared

"Well, that was scary," J said ever so casually when Jacob told her about what he and Alex talked about. Her expression doesn't reflect her words.

Jacob initially never plans to tell her about Senator Rizza hiring Alex's men to assassinate her but J doesn't seem like she would let him sleep until he told her so. At first, he fears that J would be worried if he told her, but seeing the nonchalant expression on her face making him worried instead.

"Honey, aren't you going to take your life seriously?" Jacob's face was stern when he looked down at the face of J who's head resting on his chest. They were already in bed preparing to sleep.

J looked up to him. "I am. But, I feel like I have been having these threats for like forever. It's nothing unusual." She said nonchalantly.

Jacob frowned while tightening his arms around her body. Seeing her acting indifferently towards her death threat is making him want to mold her body into his so that no one could ever harm her. If they ever dare to, they would have to deal with him first before they could touch her.

"You said that you just started receiving death threats a year ago?" He asked while staring at her eyes.

"Hmm...kind of. But ever since I and my identity was concealed 20 years ago, I started to realize that my life is in grave danger. And it has become...normal for me."

Jacob didn't say anything. His face is unreadable and he just continued to stare at her. How could a woman like her see death threats like it was normal? His heart aches seeing her like that like she doesn't care about her life.

"Honey, things had already changed. You have me to care for you. Even if you don't care about your life, I will and I do. Life must've been unfair for you but I will be the one to make it up to you. I regret that I didn't meet you earlier so that I could have changed the meaning of normal life for you. Honey, hiding your identity is not normal. Having death threats is not normal." Jacob said in a worried tone.

J chuckled. "Of course, I know that it's not." She was thinking that Jacob thought she had misunderstood the definition of normal life.

"Then don't act like it's normal." There was slight irritation in Jacob's tone which made J taken aback.

"Jacob..."

"Honey, aren't you scared?" Jacob's voice is imploring. "Because I am. I've never been this scared in my life. I never thought that the thought of losing someone could make me think of crazy things. I'm scared of losing you from anyone more so from death. I'm scared of the future without you in it. I think I would go crazy."

J reached out to touch his face. "I'm sorry for making you feel like this." Her voice is remorseful.

"Hey what are you talking about? Stop blaming yourself." Jacob stood up so that he could clearly see her face. He knows that J has the tendency to always blame herself.

"Jacob, I grew up always being reminded to be cautious and to conceal my name and identity. I grew up alone and away from my family and friends. Because if someone finds out that I am Jenny Do, the heiress of the Robin Hood Society they will kill me. I grew up with that thought in mind. My life has always been in danger and I just come to the point that I got used to hearing that someone wants to kill me. It just became normal to me."

"I was scared, Jacob. I've always been scared. But I cannot do anything about it except cry alone in my room and establish a daily routine like everything is fine and normal. I constantly remind myself that everything will be fine that I will be safe because maybe, someone is out there watching over me so that I stay alive. Thou I am not sure if there really is someone watching over me, but, I'm still alive." J tried to liven her voice but it still cracked in the end.

She lowered her head and played with her finger. "Jacob I want to stay alive. I want to live. Especially now that I already experience how to have a family. Now that I wanted to have my own family, with you. If it was before, I just wanted to live because I wanted to, now I want to live because of you."

J started to become teary-eyed but she still raises her head to look at Jacob. "Now if you are asking if I am scared, yes I am. I'm so scared to die because I still wanted to experience life with you. It's just that, for 21 years I have already mastered to cope up with my fear and anxiety."