Chapter 319 - I just wanted to send you some flowers

...

Meanwhile, at another apartment in the more expensive area of Imperial City, Luo Guangying was reading on his bed when he heard the bell ring. Since he was about to sleep, he only had a pair of shorts on.

BRRIIINGGG!

"Coming!" he yelled as he grabbed a plain grey shirt on his way out of his room. He then put on the shirt as he walked toward the door.

When he looked through the peephole, he could not help but sigh before opening the door. As he opened the door, he said, "Callum, that's the 5th time. If you're going to come here so often, why don't you just use your own key?"

He looked at the man who was holding a bouquet of white roses in his hand. 

"I don't live here anymore," Callum said with a shrug. He then smiled and shoved the bouquet of roses into Luo Guangying's hands. "Here. This is for you." 

He then took a step back and said, "Well, I'm off now." 

Luo Guangying looked at the bouquet of white roses and frowned slightly. As he looked at Callum's retreating back, he thought for a moment before asking, "Do you... want to come in for a drink?"

Callum immediately turned around, and with a wide smile on his face, he walked past Luo Guangying as he entered the room. And unlike when he was still living here, he took off his shoes and put it in the shoe cabinet neatly before walking into the house. 

Luo Guangying closed the door behind him and walked back into the house, where Callum had seated himself at the couch. He went to the vase and took out the few-day-old flowers from within, which by the way, was delivered to him by a kid while he was dining at a restaurant with his mother. 

It had taken Luo Guangying by surprise then... but if he were honest with himself, he was secretly happy to receive it. At least, it meant that Callum was still thinking about him and that he hasn't gone out with another person yet. 

Still, Luo Guangying did not know what Callum wanted from him. When Callum stormed out, he had been so mad, and Luo Guangying did not blame him. He had thought that everything was over, but then the man suddenly reappeared back in his life. 

And he didn't do much. 

At first, Callum would just appear, converse with Lin, and then leave without much of a glance at Luo Guangying. Then the gifts started to arrive. First, it was delivered by someone. And after a while, Callum started to deliver them himself. 

Sometimes they were for Lin, sometimes they were for him. 

Luo Guangying shook his head. Once he put the bouquet of fresh roses into the vase, he went to the fridge and grabbed two cans of beer, and he gave one to Callum. 

"Callum, what are you trying to do here?" Luo Guangying asked as he looked at the man seated opposite him. 

"I just wanted to send you some flowers and leave. If you want me to go, I can go," Callum replied with a smile. 

"No... I mean..." Luo Guangying looked fl.u.s.tered as he stared at Callum. "I don't understand you. Why are you doing all this? Don't you hate me?!"

"Never..." Callum smiled at the only man he had ever loved. "You sent Lin to old man Ye's place, didn't you? I know how much you dislike him and that you're only allowing your mother to see him because you want her to be happy... And I also know how you'd stay awake at night so that in the event that your mother calls you, you'd be able to go to her immediately."

He then looked at the roses in the vase. "Since you might not want me to be here, I was hoping that the flowers could help take your mind off it." 

"Callum..." 

Callum looked at Luo Guangying and grinned. "I just want to be there for you no matter what..." 

Upon hearing that, Luo Guangying's hands tightened around the unopened can of beer that he was holding. After a moment of hesitation, Luo Guangying asked in a somewhat shaky voice, "W-why?"

He could not understand it. He always treated Callum badly. At the very least, he treated everyone else better than he treated the man who shared his bed every night. 

"Because I love you, that's why..." 

Luo Guangying looked at him, and he felt hard to breath, as if there were something lodge in his throat. He had always held a part of him away, never fully revealing his true self to Callum, but Callum had always given him his 100%, which made Luo Guangying feel even worse. 

He couldn't understand why Callum still wanted to be with him. If he were Callum, he would have dumped his a*s a long time ago.  

"I talked to Kai Xin... and she was right. We have a communication issue. We talked, but a lot of the time, we didn't really reach each other." Callum ran a hand over his head as he sighed. As he slowly walked to Luo Guangying, he said in a gentle voice, "I always say I love you, but I didn't see how my actions affect you, and I failed to see all your insecurities. And that's how people managed to get between us..."  

Lifting Luo Guangying's chin up slightly, Callum said with a sad expression, "Someone got between us, right? And that someone was a person whom you did not want to disclose because you didn't want me to end up being hurt... right?" 

He had been thinking about this. Even though he had no evidence of it, he was almost sure that his grandfather had done something horrible in this. He just needed confirmation from his lover before he stormed into that house. 

And based on how Luo Guangying's eyes suddenly turned cloudy and how he averted his eyes, Callum knew that he was right. 

"But did you know... Knowing that you're in pain is more painful for me than anything else," Callum added. He knelt on one knee in front of Luo Guangying as he said, "My grandfather... He's a sly old fox, and he knew how to play with people's feelings and insecurities. Did he tell you that we would never last? That I would one day leave you for another person, a woman perhaps." 

Luo Guangying's eyes were wide open in surprise as he looked at the man in front of him. His face, his smile, his broad hands that were always so gentle with him, the soft, woody scent of his cologne and how it always calmed Luo Guangying down, and the way his eyes softened whenever he was looking at him... Luo Guangying missed all of these. And ever since Callum left, Luo Guangying had not had a good night's sleep.

The room seemed so much colder and bigger without Callum in it... 

He had been an a*s, and he knew that he was played by Callum's grandfather... Yet even knowing all that, he still could not convince himself that the old man was wrong. He even felt that Callum would be better off with someone else; someone who had less emotional baggage.

Callum took Luo Guangying's can of beer away and gently placed it on the coffee table. He then took his man's hands in his as he said, "I'm sorry..."

Luo Guangying was confused as to why Callum was apologizing. "Why?" Tears welled up in Luo Guangying's eyes as he snapped, "It's not your fault! Why are you apologizing?! You should be mad at me! I was the one who didn't have any confidence in us, in you!" 

Having spent the last few weeks without Callum, Luo Guangying had been doing some self-reflection as well. And... Kai Xin had called him and gave him a piece of her mind as well, telling him how much he was hurting Callum and himself at the same time.

Callum hadn't done anything wrong, yet Luo Guangying was so afraid of truly letting himself be with someone and completely trust that person, that a small lie was able to cause him to get angry with Callum. 

Luo Guangying hated himself for his insecurities, for his inability to believe that Callum was in this 100%... Whenever he thought of going to Callum and apologize, he was afraid... Afraid that Callum might have moved on. Yet when Callum started slowly reappear in his life again, Luo Guangying kept giving himself excuses... telling himself that Callum was only doing this because he was used to Luo Guangying's presence and that after a while, he would get bored.